Chair 3 with TEXTAPRIL '17 








Hi guys. We hope you enjoyed Easter, shame about the weather, with it peaking the weekend before. Back to cloud and frost now Brrrrrrr. Apologies for this issue coming out later; we’ve been doing some soul searching. Sadly there wasn’t a single entry for our sextoy competition, which is a pity, especially since we publicized the winners of our 2 previous comps. So many of these kinds of things are fake on social media, and we wanted to show you that people really did win and RECEIVE their prizes! We’re having trouble too with people not noticing we’ve published because the email notification is going straight into spam folders in many cases. On the positive side, we know from feedback that many regular subscribers love it, look forward to it coming out, and enjoy reading it. Each issue takes a whole day to write, edit and publish, and that is time we are hard pressed to justify right now.  The term ‘bi-monthly’ if you look it up, can, apparently mean two things. It can mean twice monthly or confusingly, every other month. So peeps, for now, we’re going to change to ‘every other month’ to free up some time, AND, most importantly, enable us to bring you the best in NEW content. We'll still bring you snippets in between though. It hasn’t been easy recently with Minx being in hospital and us not working too much due to her recovery. Fortunately, she’s now over the worst and we are back working normally, however, the loss of income has been significant…we are shall we say ‘licking our wounds’ in between licking cocks too heehee.  Many of you subscribe because you are fascinated by our life as an escort couple, the ins and outs, the ups and downs.

Escorting is a roller coaster, lots of ZERO to HERO and back again to ZERO stuff, sometimes all in the space of 24 hours.

Still, it’s our choice at the end of the day. Years ago we both worked 70-80 hours a week, getting up at daft o’clock and working through weekends and bank holidays to clean offices and kids nurseries around Scotland. Some of the so called managers and MDs of these offices and businesses couldn’t even manage to say ‘Hello’ or ‘Good Morning’ …many of the contracts we had for years, and yet, these people just took us for granted; their companies paid us £12-15 an hour, £6 to us after staff costs…we recall those days on a daily basis, and all the days we had to do double the work when staff failed to show; We never forget those hard times! We love our job as escorts and sometimes wonder how we ever managed to swing/escort part time back then!  Minx’s illness though highlights the need for us to bring in extra income on automatic…work in progress.

Phonesex is something we’ve always enjoyed with the lion’s share of the business coming via Adult Work. We’re continually tweaking our own platform AKA in an effort to protect ourselves from being too dependent on one source; Recently we’ve seen people starting to call us 121 and pre-paying by direct payments; By doing this, there’s no trace of premium numbers on their phones, indeed, many phones thanks to 🙁 'Scameron’s' intervention won’t even allow access by default. Nor is there a need to join Adult Work and pay for credits on an adult site with a paper trail to your bank 🙁 We’re working hard to promote this side of our biz even more….don’t forget guys, not only can you talk dirty with us more easily using this method, but you can also watch free porn clips at the same time via the video box on the phonesex page! Check out our phone sex feedback on AW; its up there with the best in the biz.

Some of you’ll know we’ve given the swinging scene a wide berth in recent years; former players ourselves, becoming fed up with timewasters, we decided to escort together after just a few meets, years ago. Geeze had previously dated an escort in the Nineties, sold sextoys in pubs and social clubs in the Noughties and started escorting himself in the North East just before meeting Minx 10 years ago. We’ve had several swingers visit us over time, some have been fun, more of them though, I have to say, have been ‘hard work’; prima donnas, selfish and in some cases quite clueless when it comes to the more sensual side of sex. Industry research suggests over 60% of swingers are bisexual, something we’d overlooked when setting up . Our Twitter feed has revealed a couple of interesting clubs, one of them in London and quite upmarket. Both clubs have bi/DIY nights, so we’re going to take a look, meet some new people and hopefully have fun on our terms, not somebody else's, fingers crossed. Stay tuned for a report coming soon.


Last month we reported on Pegging…many of you commented on the video and how you enjoyed seeing it, thanks guys 🙂 Pegging’s trending right now and so is ElectroSex. Have you tried it? Its all NEW to us! We’re fortunate trading in adult pleasure products to be able to source kits at trade prices; there appear to be 2 main players in the electrosex market: ELECTRASTIM and E-STIM. We heard there was some aggro a while back with one company accusing the other of copying their product. We’ve yet to get to the bottom of that story despite inquiries to E-STIM; we don’t like dealing with ‘clever dicks’ and fakers and would prefer to stock ‘the real thing’ at FUN-FIVE-0. Once we’ve found out who is the original, we shall begin stocking their systems, and of course testing them. Once we’ve mastered the art, we’ll begin offering them as ‘available services’. Do any of YOU have experience with electrosex stimulation…if so, tell us about it!

One of our Twitter followers @BrummiesNaughty posted a very good car wank clip recently. Its not the first time this pair have posted seriously horny clips. A month or so back the lady posted a very sensual bit of film showing pussy stimulation through her nickers before briefly revealing more…quite delicious. They seem to have the knack for producing QUALITY vids using nothing more than their phone. Fairplay to Naughty Brummies, we can learn from them, (me & Minx are hopeless at webcam/vids) Take a look at Naughty Brummie's most recent car sex vid:


Their video prompted us to remember a time a couple of years back when we both had ‘the horn’ near Port Glasgow in Scotland. Minx was relieving Geeze on a slip road cum layby underneath the A8 by the Clyde; Y’all know that feeling when caution is thrown to the wind and you just DON’T CARE about the consequences of ones actions….Minx had Geeze well pumped up, and a bystander too…a middle aged guy who’d spotted us from a distance, and steadily moved closer for a ‘better look’. We just kept on going and gave him a good show, why not? We’re frequently surprised at how few of our clients have ever had sex outdoors, or even masturbate in their cars…what about YOU? Do YOU ever get that feeling when you just have to seek relief? We’d like to hear about it. Better still, we’d like to see your take on carsex/car wanks/trainsex etc . Send us a clip like Naughty Brummies over the next month and we’ll pick a winner and publish it here on NVS! OH and we’ll give the winner a freebie for their trouble, OK with that guys? Get shootin.


One meeting stands out this month! A well organised chappie from North of the Border…well organised in that he called us the week before, with a date and time already planned; we love guys like that…no message ping-pong, no endless texting, no daft questions etc etc. He said he was a ‘little curious’. That can go 4 ways…a 100% straight guy who’s really a cuck but doesn’t tell us AKA HARD WORK, a straight guy who really is curious with no previous, a straight guy who’s had an experience decades ago and wants to revisit it, or a guy who admits to being bi-curious but in reality is way way higher up the Kinsey Scale!!! We’ll call the guy Frances.

Frances was around 6 foot tall, late thirties, a good body with light chest and pubic hair, and a fellow Scot.

We still get many visitors from North of the Border, from when we lived there ourselves. We often wonder if we’ll end up there again one day, depending on whether they’ll let us back over the wall LOL. Minx had forewarned me he was supposed to be ‘mildly’ curious but ‘not sure’. In these instances, we start playing together and listen to the guys requests, and just go with the flow. Only difference is, Geeze behaves and doesn’t dare go near the other guy, at all! Some men cringe at the slightest male on male contact…a hand laid on their back even, or other light body contact. Other’s once nerves have settled, seek to suck cock, with some choosing not to allow Geeze to reciprocate 🙁 Everyone’s different.  Almost all of the so called straight guys request we fuck together in front of them to get the ball rolling.

They seem to love the view from behind and I don’t blame them. Full length mirrors turn the scene into LIVE porn, JFC, sometimes I turn around to look in the mirror and it boosts me too.

Anyway, our friend Frances was one of those surprises…very soon he was sucking cock, and not tentatively either…this guy had FORM. After a few minutes of glorious attention, Geeze moved into a 69 position and rolled the guy over onto his side; Then again after a few more minutes turned him right over so he was on top, with Geeze under, sucking his cock AND balls…with an occasional foray onward and upward…towards his ass; Frances was quite agile; I believe he was some kind of contractor who worked outdoors…clearly fit, and tanned too. Minx squatted at the foot of the bed….Frances was a ‘tits man’ too and relished Minx’s 32H breasts, licking them and kissing them at length, meanwhile Geeze extricated himself and lay to the side of Frances parallel, each of us taking one of Minx’s nipples in our mouths. Minx enjoys titplay and titfucking; it wasn’t long before Frances moved onto the ottoman and proceeded to fuck her cleavage hard, Minx assisting by wrapping her beasts around his throbbing penis, up and down, really FAST…in between I asked him ‘if this was the kind of experience he’d been hoping for’, he whispered yes in between countless ‘Oh Fuck’s and ‘Awe fantastic, I’m so horny now’…music to our ears; in total contrast to the staid men we get sometimes who just lay there, without communicating. A guy once lay there for an hour and a half without a word, despite us prompting, to no avail. He was clearly satisfied though, leaving us 5* feedback; needless to say though we don’t want him back, sorry. Can YOU imagine that??? An hour and a half of silence????? No fun at all I can assure you; in those cases we’ll try every trick in the book, but sometimes it falls on deaf ears…as I said before, everybody’s different!  Our Frances however couldn’t contain himself and shot a heavy load over Minx’s titties, around 30 minutes in, WOW. For many guys that’s it, however, we always inquire about the possibility of a second coming. HeeHee…that sounds so RELIGIOUS doesn’t it…AHEM…it is EASTER!!!!! He said he’d see what he could do, mmmm. He wanted to see Geeze cum. Minx lay diagonally across the bed…one of her fave positions. Why? Because with her head at the corner and one guy either side of the bed, she’s able to service 2 cocks with her mouth, or more accurately, stimulate them very effectively by swirling her tongue around both heads, with both guys touching each other inside her mouth…delicious;

Done right, the swirling action on the underside of our cocks AKA the frenulum, takes us guys right over the edge, even after coming once already.

Minx wanted to suck Frances alone though…quickly moving him across the bed she went down on him while asking Geeze to wank over the pair of them; Looking in the mirror was enough to raise the tempo for Geeze….sometimes as an escort you need just that bit extra stim to change from 'work mode' to 'sexually aroused and full on feeling mode'…the reward is a slow but inexorable rising of the semen to the head of the cock…slow enough to enjoy, and INTENSE to the extreme, enough time to ask if Frances was ‘almost there’…if not time to hold back, but No, Minx was shouting ‘Awe look at that precum, WOW’ it was all I needed to know that he was close, before letting go, over the two of them. Some men go nuts if a tiny bit of man-cum should touch them (poor little things) but not so Frances, he was beyond caring as his own cum partially entered Minx’s mouth, the rest shooting all over her face, G>O>R>G>E>O>U>S…I even tasted some myself…its funny how the guys who really get it on often taste so good too…must be something to do with chemistry, never one of my strongest subjects I have to say.  Above one of the mirrors we have a sign; it says ‘Enter as strangers, Leave as friends’. The warm-down period after such a meet is a delight. Three sexually charged beings, total strangers 50 minutes ago coming together as friends; it’s what this job is all about; pity they can’t all be like Frances! Until next time….. We turn fantasy into reality, and we tell you the way it is….You subscribe to our newsletter 'NEWS VIEWS & SCREWS' and to find out what it’s really like to be an EscortCouple, We thank you for your support, Stay tuned, safe sex always, until next time, Luv, fun50couple xxx


* Please note we NEVER divulge people’s identities and we have changed some names and details to preserve complete anonymity

© fun50couple 2017