AUGUST '17
NEWSLETTER
'NEWS, VIEWS n SCREWS'
Fun50Couple-NEWS
Hello Sexy Friends! I'm writing this while on tour in Birmingham. It's wet and cold, and Minx is asleep...it's been a hectic few days. We'd booked a hotel close to the NEC for the weekend, intending to stay just a couple of nights before continuing on to Southampton for the week. Business was so brisque that we decided to remain in Brum instead. We've met some AMAZING people, and just what we needed after some gloomy weeks in the North East; you can read about one of the meets below in 'SCREWS'. The main news this month is that we've decided to put on a small scale party for bi or bi-curious folk; It'll be in the North East.
We've already started organising it...and YOU as an NVS subscriber are invited.
The numbers are very limited....as you'd expect, there's been no shortage of applications from mature bi and bi-curious men! If you're reading this and you're an upscale and sexy MF couple over 40, with at least one of you bi or bi-curious then we'd love to hear from you. We're also looking for a mature greedy girl type GILF or MILF (over 40) to help make things rock...is that YOU? Get in touch. Total numbers will be around 14-20. It'll be a relaxed affair with no expectations on any-one, except to have a fun time and mix with like minded people. We will be providing light refreshments, safe sex consumables, and transport for up to 5/6 from and to Durham train station (VIRGIN East coast main-line). For those that want to stay in the area overnight there's a Premier Inn very close, OR, we recommend the Radisson 
Blu in Durham, an impressive hotel overlooking the river Wear and city; its in a quiet location and just minutes from the railway. More recommended hotels can be found here: http://bit.ly/2pzNlsb This is a NEW venture for us and something we're going to develop over time, with exciting plans for bigger promotions in the future both here and overseas in the SUN...but first we must learn to WALK! Your support would be very much appreciated, and please spread the word. To secure YOUR place at this night of debauchery, email us please, at funbehindcloseddoors@outlook.com.
Other NEWS this month is that fun50minx is now offering Direct phonesex via AdultWork.com, or you can call via different channels as set out on http://bit.ly/2pVsTCe
Fun50Couple-VIEWS
This morning (1st August, Yorkshire Day) I’m lying in bed with Minx after a late finish last night. We’re reflecting together, on a meeting (MFM) we had at a posh County Durham hotel with a wealthy businessman from Scotland, and pondering, lusting even, over an upcoming MMF meet with a regular, also from Scotland. (Yes they breed ’em sexy North of the Border!) Regular NVS readers will know we often write about human sexuality, & constantly review articles sent our way by Google & others relating to the subject; Bisexuality is a bit of a ‘hot potato’ and very much in the NEWS just now. There’s debate over how it should be depicted on TV especially in ‘soaps’; there’s the ‘conversation’ fueled by a good many members of the LGBT ‘movement’ (who should know better) suggesting bisexuality doesn’t even exist, and, there’s the revelation that more and more youngsters especially those in Gen Z (birthdates between mid 90’s and 2000’s) identify themselves as MH (mostly heterosexual) leaving the door open for ‘experimentation’ while holding a NEUTRAL view on bisexuality, instead of a negative one, commonly held by Gen X’ers and/or to a lesser extent Millennials. It’s a subject I find endlessly fascinating, and it’s going to be interesting to see how things pan out (no pun intended 🙂 ) over the next decade or so.
Trump appears to have snuffed out the ‘T’ in recent weeks from LGBT….
He and his ilk, look set to move on the other 3 genres as they attempt to roll back hard won ‘rights’…assuming they remain in power; On this side of the Pond, things don’t look good either, with vicar’s daughter and ‘holier than thou’ TM in bed with the DUP 🙁 🙁 🙁 . Having said that, the LGBT ‘movement’ is nothing more than that…a movement; and whatever shit and obstacles the ‘Establishment’ throw in our path, it’s not going to change who I am, who Minx is, or who YOU are. All shades of the sexual spectrum will carry on as usual, LIVING their lives, walking the talk, either in private or ‘out’...the activists are nearly always the minority in any doctrine, with the loudest voices. Empty vessels perhaps?….that’s unfair, they invariably mean well, though often blinkered to reality…the point is there are said to be 4 times more folk who privately identify themselves as bi than there are gay. And the best bit is??? Bisexual guys are reckoned to be the sexiest men on the planet. Why? Because they can more easily empathize with women, AND other men; Being with both genders inherently ‘opens you up’ (yes pleeze lol) to a greater understanding of the complexities of both genders. http://bit.ly/2tVmlCv Who says? An increasing body of opinion, gleaned from articles and opinions worldwide; just keep your eyes open, and you’ll see. Like all things related to ‘taboo’ sex or what people used to consider ‘taboo’ (anal for example) it’s a drip feed of anecdotal evidence, feeding a stream, a river, eventually becoming an unstoppable force as it flows out to an ocean in the World of Sex. I’m not sure (sorry ladies!) if the same applies to bisexual women. To women, bisexuality is a more ‘natural’ latent thing, a more emotional and sensual thing, uncomplicated by a VISIBLE* penis. I’ll stop there, because I’m not wanting or qualified to stray into a gay/straight debate.
Bisexuals EXIST trust me. I am one. I am proud. I am sexy and full on.
I am 100% authentic self which translates into a STRONG RELATIONSHIP able to withstand hard knocks. I am NOT the one hiding from a partner and seeking risky liaisons as soon as our backs are turned! Though successful as escorts we are not well off, we struggle when compared to most…in financial terms…but we are rich in the knowledge of WHO WE ARE, and what we SHARE. People frequently ask us ‘what are we in to?’ or ‘what is the best sex we’ve had?’ Let me tell you. What we are ‘in to’ are the shared memories of encounters that only Minx and I know about….extreme intimate experiences with others for which many folk would literally die for…we are into each other as 2 kindred spirits, soulmates with nothing hidden; and the best sex? You’ll expect me to describe a room full of naked bodies bucking and fucking with no holes barred; the truth is more prosaic…sometimes there's real chemistry & communication in a threesome which combines to deliver a mind blowing meet, but more often than not it’s a close kiss & heavy petting outdoors on a secluded sunny hillside; it’s short sharp intense sex in the kitchen while waiting for the bolognese to cook; it’s knowing each other inside out, kinks and all. We are with one another 24/7 and into our 11th year as a couple. Just think about that! So many of our clients are away from home, nights as well, 40-50 weeks a year! Even a regular ‘Joe’ and his wife in ‘normal’ jobs are apart most of their waking hours! There are folk out there…in their droves….a majority perhaps….who DON’T REALLY KNOW their partners…or maybe they did once, before career progression, promotion, and MATERIAL GREED got in the way. We saw an example of this while relaxing over the weekend; we put the telly on, and caught an episode of ‘Homes in the Sun’. Cheap reality TV I know, and just one of a plethora of property shows these days, all about assets….keeping up with the Jones’s….and speculating in order to fund the ‘obligatory’ million pound pension pot blah blah blah. The couple in Sunday’s show were typical: HE, a senior salesman in his mid 50s. SHE, a career woman, clearly IN CHARGE, wearing the trousers, and Cheshire LOUD 🙁 . Two kids, one about to go to Uni (of course). £140,000 to spend in Portugal on their ‘holiday retreat’; Quintessentially, 'Mr & Mrs Perfect Family', a bi-product of the 90's and 'New Labour' that followed, and so commonly ‘looked up to’ in 21st Century Britain.
Now, Zoom back to Minx and I in bed, after last night’s MFM. What is SUCCESS? Mr Successful from Cheshire is away from home travelling for over 40 weeks a year. Mr & Mrs Successful’s ‘holiday retreat’ just has to be in the best area of the resort ‘to get the highest rental income when they’re not there’….which equates to 49 weeks of the year. Mr & Mrs Successful apparently ‘need’ the retreat to spend ‘quality time’ as a ‘family unit’….yeah right…..3 weeks out of 52! And people see this as success? Throughout the programme we wondered why Mr Cheshire even bothered to accompany his wife on the sponsored trip at all. Mrs was clearly out to get WHAT SHE WANTED and nothing less…he came across as the loyal puppy. Or should that be subby? Maybe we should question the word loyal. Who REALLY was Mr Successful from Cheshire, I hear you ask? The answer being he was NOBODY, other than a spitting image of our model CLIENT! Success anybody??? ....Cheers 🙂 🙁 .
POSTSCRIPT: We just got a text from our Durham client…it reads: ‘Lovely to meet you last night – will definitely do it again! One of the best experiences I’ve had!’ We hope he remembers to delete it!
*https://beingsakin.wordpress.com/2011/08/17/men-have-clitorises/
Fun50Couple-SCREWS
We’ve met several quality guys this past month in London & Birmingham so who shall we pick for this month’s screws? Two meets really stand out…so one today and the other I shall write about and save while the memory’s fresh for another issue. We used to record mini conversations with each other (Minx & I) after each meet, but tbh that’s not always easy to do with our busy lifestyle.
The day started well with a phonesex call from a regular guy who lives in London. He buys phonesex slots using Option 3 http://bit.ly/2pVsTCe meaning he rings us to say he’s transferred money enough for a set period; that way his phone shows no premium rate activity, nor does he need to be an Adult Work member. He’s straight and likes to hear Minx and I engaging in sexual activity mmmmm; one hot and sunny day a month ago we were 
parked up in a quiet spot near the Dartford Crossing feeling horny when he called out of the blue…we were soon outside stood up against the car and then a gateway, kissing and sucking while he listened and joined in, masturbating himself. Outdoor sex is good at any time, but this day was special. Full sun beat down on Geeze’s solid member, a light breeze from the East wafted through his parted legs and against his pert bottom, bees buzzed around a jungle of buddleia bushes, resplendent with their vibrant purple blooms, appearing almost like cocks themselves, thrusting skyward; a tug on the Thames struggled against a flood tide with a loaded barge lashed to it’s side,
Snobby yachtsmen were at work on the decks of boats in cradles by a nearby creek, some of them coming and going on foot or bicycle along ‘our lane’….which just added to the tension…
the risk of being caught ‘with our pants down’, literally…one of those moments you just want to relive again and again! But that was then! Not now. This particular morning we were lying in bed in a Birmingham hotel contemplating the day ahead. Geeze was horny anyway…a phonesex chat was music to his ears, an excuse to ‘step things up a notch’…all in the name of duty of course. ‘Punters’ love Minx’s soft Scottish accent and sexy innuendo, and it wasn’t long before pussy was more than a little wet, and Geeze solid, again. Many phonesex providers brag that they can chat ‘while doing the ironing’ or ‘working’ at something else, consequently they deliver a half-hearted experience, and guess what? IT COMES ACROSS! Clients aren’t stupid! They’ve paid good money and they want a good time…a full on climax, and with us, that’s what they get. It’s VERY satisfying to hear a guy explode on the end of the phone; it’s not something they can fake….as Minx got more turned on herself, Geeze positioned himself kneeling between her open thighs…silky soft white flesh merging to meet a pussy, thrust outward, muscle straining, begging for attention….but NOT of the rough kind…the kind that many men think women want (errrr NO!)…a softer touch does the trick, and today Geeze was especially sensual, brushing just the very tip of his glans against her soft pubic hairs, few in number but enough to transfer a feeling…an exquisite feeling, to both man and woman…things were coming to the boil, then it was over, the phone dead, our client was gone. Some guys are like that, it’s just clunk, they’re finished, away, you know they’ve 'come' and reality sets in….calls cost money….others at least give us the pleasure of the full climax, grunting expletives, moaning, shouting, then comes the giggling afterwards, and the profuse thanks (if we’re lucky)…while we ourselves come back down to earth, and check to see how much money we’ve made. Yep. Its OUR LIVING don’t forget, and £15 in the first half hour of waking is a bonus, it's a breakfast, it’s a half tank of fuel…whatever. So the day had got off to a great start! Minx and Geeze were left in wonder….in 11 years Geeze had never stimulated Minx that way before; it was a first. We often marvel between ourselves that even after a decade we can still find new ways, scale new heights, particularly relevant to our lives as escorts, since most men visit us because sex no longer happens in their own relationship, for whatever reason.
Obviously one’s tempted to continue and ‘go all the way’ even when the client’s put the phone down, however, we have to think ahead.
A guy we’ll call ‘Bill’ was due at 10AM, so we had to be ready for him, and able to deliver, so self-discipline kicked in 🙂
Bill is a semi-retired engineer with a background in the automotive industry, and from the Warwick area, happily married for 36 years and loves his wife. Or so he told us; happily married enough to have survived an affair lasting around 3 years a decade ago, an affair which by all accounts centred on SEX. The lady in question, we were told, surprised him early on by fingering his ass; initially disgusted and horrified, he soon relaxed and began to enjoy the experience. Over time, gentle assplay became ‘the norm’ and our Bill was converted. But then, one day, Miss ‘X’ sprung another surprise on Bill. Blindfolding him, she went far beyond ‘fingering’ and instead, eased a strap on into Bill’s well lubed ass. From what we could gather, it must have hit the spot, however, the relationship ended soon after. The experience was never to be repeated, not even during Bill’s occasional visits to escorts in the years that followed. All this Bill relayed to us, while sat on the bed, clothed….explaining that he wanted us to 'understand the background', and his reasons for picking us to meet. He wanted us to know all about his ‘previous’ so there would be no need ‘to interrupt the flow’ as he put it, once things got going. You see, for all those years after, Bills mind had been working and wondering….working and wondering more; the lyrics of a song by Depeche Mode come to mind…they go like this:
‘To the soul's desires
The body listens
What the flesh requires
Keeps the heart imprisoned
What the spirit seeks
The mind will follow’
The brain is, of course, our BIGGEST SEX ORGAN! Bill couldn’t help wondering what it would be like ‘to experience the real thing’. It was only a matter of time….Who, where, when? Bill was unusual in that he hadn’t sought to explore his own body since, through use of toys or sexual experiences with others. His wife had no interest in SEX apparently, so that route was a ‘No-No’, hence his call to us. He told us our profile was the best he’d ever come across, and that he felt safe in our hands. We often hear those sentiments. Some find our approach bolshie and a bit too intimidating and business like; Its written that way for a purpose…it succeeds in sorting the wheat from the chaff. Our Bill was a model customer. Clean, respectful, intelligent, with a FUN streak. Despite all that, it was plain to see, the guy was a bag of nerves, and literally shaking.
Sometimes there’s a moment at the outset of a meeting where the client considers making a bolt for it, it HAS happened on a couple of occasions.
Some lose their bottle, some are spooked by the array of sextoys and BDSM paraphernalia. You just get that sense sometimes, and you need to act fast to save the situation. Minx has a knack for settling people and calming them down, and within minutes, Bill was sucking on her tits, while she gently quizzed him about his likes and dislikes. Bill began to feel more comfortable, telling us that his nipples weren’t especially sensitive, but his balls were, and he didn’t want them played with….shame because Minx likes a man with balls, literally and figuratively speaking. He said he liked a squirting pussy, so Minx got him to start licking, between her spread thighs…Lucky her, for the second time that morning! While all this was going on, Geeze started prepping for ‘the big event’. Medium anal beads and a smallish jelly cock dildo were selected and dressed with condoms and lube, a third condom was opened and laid out ready…just in case. By this time Bill was in another world, his tongue deep in Minx’s slit, sprawled on the bed, legs apart with his feet overhanging the end, an open invitation for Geeze to start play. A man’s anus has more nerve endings than the average female clit as regular NVS subscribers will know, and at first Geeze tried a very light touch, from a gloved and lubed right hand…asking if Bill was ‘alright?’. By the vigorous nod of his head while still licking Minx, Geeze assumed that everything was all ‘A-OK' and continued. Bill’s oral skills rated highly and in no time at all Minx was aroused, and approaching the point where she needed to ‘let go’. They swapped positions, with Bill on his back, Minx squatting over him facing the wall behind his head, affording him full view of her wet pussy and ass…female ejaculation is a wonderful thing, and Bill got his full quota, his hair and head soaked by the deluge. Turning away he confronted Geeze’s hard cock, just inches from his face. There came a moment of hesitation, Minx offered encouragement, then he took it into his mouth, gingerly at first, then more deeply to the point of gagging for a split second, before settling for a period and engaging in deep oral stimulation, expertly guided by Geeze, who simultaneously probed Bill with his finger.
Bill’s cock was modest, or so it seemed, but now it swelled, impressively so, a good 7 inches and thick too, a deep purpley red in colour and very veiny;
Bill was a ‘grower’ for sure! Geeze rolled him back over on to his tummy and he hotched up the bed to lay partially on top of Minx, his head nestled in her breasts, his bottom in the air. Geeze wasted no time in lining up the beads and gently inserting them, 2-3 at first to ‘test the water’. Bill had told us that he’d douched ready, which was great news; so very few men take the trouble or even know what a douche is….sure enough, Bill was clean. Moans of appreciation coming from his direction indicated he was enjoying the sensation, so another 4 
or 5 beads were inserted…clearly the man was enjoying it, rocking enthusiastically back and forward on and off the wand. Next up was the small cock dildo. One of the advantages of prepping everything first is that one can move seamlessly from one toy to the next, and safely too, maintaining full protection. The small cock dildo is a good second step, at around 4” insertable length and a reasonably thick girth, ideally acclimatizing Bill’s willing ass for bigger and better. Anyone who 'knows anal' knows that bigger is better when it’s done right, and when it’s good you just don’t want it to end. Have YOU been there?
Bill was once again burying his face in pussy. He was getting to that ‘wanton’ dirty stage when almost 'anything goes'…you been there too? The plug was in fully. Geeze asked him if he liked the ‘filled up feeling’. Bill said Yes he did, Minx inquired if he knew what was next, but there was no answer. His ass was again thrusting upward and at just the right level for Geeze to gently penetrate him with his rock hard penis, but not before several minutes of light teasing, rubbing his covered cock against his sweet anus, clean, perfectly formed, and with no abnormalities. We carry a range of condoms for different situations. For some-one fairly submissive and docile like Bill, Geeze chooses the thin feel, for maximum sensitivity. At first he gave Bill an inch or so, allowing him to relax and get used to the feeling. Newcomers to the scene are often best to sit themselves down gradually, on to a hard cock, riding it as deep or as shallow as they can without any discomfort until they can take more. Bill though was happy the way he was, and after around 5 minutes, Geeze was well in. Bill had by now turned his head to one side, away from Minx’s pussy to try and catch a glimpse of Geeze. Our fave venue has strategically placed full height mirrors to 2 walls, which add to the experience, turning it into LIVE PORN almost. Bill was clearly enjoying it, even more so when Geeze turned him on to his side and fucked him scissor style. It was time for a brief rest…
....by now all Bills inhibitions had vanished into thin air, and Geeze took a few minutes to whisper dirty thoughts into Bills ears….
graphically describing to Bill exactly what the two of them had and were doing….'dirty BISEXUAL bumsex…yeah, 2 men fucking with a woman watching and getting off on the scene'…you always know when some-one really ‘gets into it’; even the most mild mannered guys start swearing…often passionately repeating the words ‘OOOH FUCK’ several times between loud moans, their eyes glazed over, clearly some of them can’t really take in the enormity of the act, the dirty wanton guttural feeling that deep anal sex can be relied upon to deliver….Geeze suggested to Bill that it would be even better with him on his back, his clenched fists supporting his bum, legs raised, heels and feet on Geeze’s shoulders, allowing full view of his hole, and further deep gentle penetration. That’s the time to ask them whether they want more, and Bill did. 'Harder Bill?' You bet. Different men react in different ways. Some, their cocks shrivel while being penetrated; others harden, prompting furious masturbation, with sometimes, both men coming simultaneously. Not this time though. Geeze withdrew, Minx was given the honour of wanking his impressive penis off to completion, Geeze kept the fire stoked by fingering Bill at the same time…Bill came with a loud cry, almost too loud, three times over, his seed erupting over his chest, immediately followed by a fit of giggles, then a reddened face creased by laughter, just like the phone-sex guy earlier, JOB DONE. We turn fantasy into reality, and we tell you the way it is….You subscribe to our newsletter 'NEWS VIEWS & SCREWS' and to find out what it’s really like to be an EscortCouple, We thank you for your support, Stay tuned, safe sex always, until next time, Luv, fun50couple xxx
* Please note we NEVER divulge people’s identities and we have changed some names and details to preserve complete anonymity
© fun50couple 2017
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