AUTUMN 2018

NEWS, VIEWS & SCREWS

Fun50Couple-NEWS

So guys, you thought you'd seen the last of NEWS VIEWS & SCREWS in its original format right? Wrong🙂!  I've got withdrawal symptoms and miss the writing. I've also noticed that not having to gather content from various sources each month to write NVS has a detrimental effect on my 'finger on the pulse' of our industry. Thirdly, there are just not enough hours in the day to get everything done that I promised; OK, so we've brought you regular NEWS and VIEWS this past couple of months via the much improved fun50couple.com Blog page, however, as yet, we haven't had the time or the resources to move the 'SCREWS' onto Audio and change it to a membership site. Hence this issue of NVS! Enjoy.

The last two months have seen us working a lot in London and for the forseeable future that's where we shall concentrate our efforts. Few of our clients in the North East actually come from the region, with most of them passers-by or businessmen staying in local hotels. Quite honestly we are tired of the 'cheap as chips' mentality and the folk around here wallowing in self-pity. There's a lack of energy, not helped by endless talking shops and 'exhibitions' promoted by councils and quangos, who do just that....TALK....with little tangible progress towards substantial regeneration. That apathy 'rubs off' and it's not a place we want to be. Granted, we've succeeded in 'making a living' but that's not enough, so right now, we're considering our options. I made mention in the last ish of plans for a dungeon which looked like they might at last come to fruition after a decade of dreaming.  There's been further activity 'behind the scenes' which will enable us take another step forward towards achieving that goal. We'll keep you posted. IT work is also taking up more of our time with a new website built and very nearly live which pitches web design services & SEO activities to escorts, mistresses and sextoy retailers. These trades face tough times as they fend off closure through over-zealous regulation, censorship and fierce competition; our fun50couple website consistently hits the #1 spot on the Search Engines for numerous search terms...it's not rocket science, and we want to help as many people in similar circumstances to ourselves as independent ecorts to thrive online.

On a lighter note, we've had some fab meets in the Capital, including one high up in The Shard, London's tallest building. While playing on the bed, we were able to look right down on to HMS Belfast almost like the view from an aircraft, with Tower Bridge illuminated spectacularly to the East....at 1AM in the morning, WOW; especially since I vividly remember walking those same streets as a teenager. That stretch of the Thames is known as the 'Pool of London', and was home to rows of brick warehouses built to handle cargo shipments in Victorian times. Back in the late 70's and before the re-generation started in the 80s these buildings lay derelict, most had open doors and no windows, their cranes/hoists silent yet still arced over & above the roads, with the odd warehouse in use for cheap car-parking. (Think: Cortina/Anglia/Singer/Hillman/Austin/Morris/Rover) Happy memories. So guys, if you live or work in London and want to meet, you can check where we are by clicking on the 'London Area Availability' tab on our Adult Work page.  Clients in Nothern England should click on the 'North East' tab on our AdultWork page where you'll find dates AND rates for your area. Whilst in London we're usually based in Wembley, which has very good links by tube, overground, national rail, and road being close to the North Circular, M1 and M40. There's also easy parking. In between periods in Central London and the North East we can be found in Dartford DA1 or Thurrock RM20, so if you suffer that stretch of the M25 regularly, you might want to make an appointent for a little 'R&R' to relieve the stress. It's a great spot for people passing through, especially weekends; Remember too, that we don't see couples 'as fun50couple', but Geeze does work solo, so if you're a M/F couple or a solo guy seeking the company of a fully bi male escort, make that known to us when you call. Minx also works alone, but will only see established Adult Work members with feedback over 40 years of age, and she'll only do incalls, No outcalls, Got it? Great.....

Fun50Couple-VIEWS

Regular readers will have been following my reviews of Zuyosa, the Natural Sexual Vitality Supplement for Men. Life has been fast and frantic lately so I thought I'd give it another trial over a period of days. All I can say is that IT DEFINITELY WORKS and on some occasions its outperformed Sildenafil I kid you not. Its major benefit seems to be that it lasts longer....with 'V' you get a boost within an hour or so, have sex, and that's usually it....but with Zuyosa the 'background horn' as I like to call it, lasts 24 hours or more; it's something I can actually feel...and it takes very little effort to induce a full erection time after time. Some of you will scoff and say you never need a boost, and that's fine; In the real world though, there are many men who are seriously stressed with reduced libido and some can't take pharma products for medical reasons. Zuyosa is a safe bet for them; it may or may not work FOR YOU because everybody's different, but I've taken it too many times now, and spoken to several others, and they all say the same....It works. That's most likely the reason it can be very difficult to get hold of....we've had inquiries even from Australia and Malaysia!  The British manufacturer struggles to cope with demand and we've just sold out of stock, so if you 're wanting to try it register your interest by emailing support@fun-five-o.com because we're shortly placing another order for pre-Christmas sales.

Fun50Couple-SCREWS

Hardly a day goes by now without a ‘transgender’ story in the newspapers. This week we’re told Trump and his administration want to define one’s ‘sex’ as ‘a biological, immutable condition determined by genitalia at birth’. The previous [Obama] government had endorsed the civil rights of transgender people, building on case law and the stance adopted by the US medical community, who recognise a distinction between some-ones ‘sex’ and their ‘gender’. {Scroll over the above image to 'Take the Test'} You don’t need me to tell you that after years of progress and liberalisation of many aspects of ‘sex’ and ‘sexuality’, we’re now seeing the clock wound back at an alarming rate by extreme right wing regimes, our own included, hand in hand with the religious ‘holier than thou’ brigade. Abortion, Same Sex Marriage, Transgenderism, LGBT rights, Sex Education in Schools, Prostitution, Online Pornography, Obscenity Laws and more are all in the firing line… The worrying thing is, that in the absence of more reasonable ‘middle of the road’ parties in opposition, new laws proposed by the likes of Trump, May and others, stand every chance of making it onto the statute books….slipped in almost by sleight of hand, while ‘Joe Public’ is pre-occupied by issues like Brexit…or dare I say, the blessed ‘football’. I digress, but can’t help mention a rowdy group of lads who boarded a tube train on a Saturday recently in East London. They sat just behind us, 6 of them, all Northerners, raucously discussing the state of English Football. Players and Managers alike came under the microscope, with performance and even personal characteristics talked about in minute detail, in between profanities and laughter…..Having made a living all my life canvassing for business at street level and selling direct to consumers & SMEs, I know that football is right up there near the top in terms of priorities for tens of millions of peoples here in the UK. If only they were so engaged in things that REALLY MATTERED, things that have the power TO SHAPE THEIR LIVES ie political decisions/democracy then we wouldn’t be in the position we are today with two parties at opposite ends of the spectrum; Instead, we might have more balanced and reasonable Government. How things have changed in 20 short years, in a way many of us who ARE politically engaged would scarcely have thought possible. It’s not surprising that minority groups, like transgender people, fear for their future. As a full time escort, business-person and erotic writer my mind is constantly whirring, wrestling with the rights and wrongs of life and current affairs, and how they are portrayed by the MSM. Social Media is different, and I have a kind of love/hate relationship with it, in all it’s guises. As some-one in my late fifties I’m slightly unusual in that I do actually subscribe to it and participate in what Millennials love to call ‘the conversation’, unlike most of my contemporaries, who shun it. I see a lot of lewd tweets surrounding cross dressers and transgender people…..leading me to wonder. I wonder if most of the audience are simply lapping up these posts as a kind of kinky pornography, without giving any serious thought to the underlying issues, like what it might feel like to be transgender? What it might feel like to be a ‘man’ with a yearning to be a woman since his earliest years? I worry that Ministers and Advisory Groups increasingly of the Millennial Generation themselves, and without much life experience outside of narrow ‘professional’ vocations or even worse as ‘career politicians’, might ‘make light of’ the very real struggles that transgender, or any other minority groups for that matter, might face. I want to share with you an experience recently with one such person we’ll call John aka Judith.

John first called us to arrange a meeting over a year ago. Except then he didn’t call himself John, he identified as Mark. We know because we record phone numbers and keep notes, in common with most professional escorts in an effort to cut downtime from serial time-wasters. One has to be careful though, because ‘time-wasters’ very often are not meaning to be that way...they are people on a sexual journey, just like us. To their credit, even some-one who calls an escort for the first time in their lives, wanting more in their lives, with an open-mind, and a yearn to explore new horizons….that first call is a signal that they’ve ‘boarded the train’. They’ve done what so many fail to do, and taken the first step. Sometimes they’ll lose their bottle and fail to confirm an appointment or they may not show at all. But at least they’ve started on their journey. Most folk NEVER LEAVE THE STATION, but then that is a reflection of so many peoples’ lives in general, isn’t it? So, a year ago, John had rung us and made an appointment, but failed to confirm it on the day, prompting us to ‘flag’ his number. This time he rang in from a landline raising our suspicions, confirmed the following day when he called back, using ‘Mark’s’ saved number. This kind of thing happens all the time...obviously 12 months ago he’d bottled….it remained to be seen if this time he’d show.

Twenty minutes after his allotted appointment time, John was still nowhere to be seen despite him sending 2 texts and making a quick call previously to say he was ‘on his way’. Minx and I were cursing, but not in any kind of ‘state’….over the years one gets used to the No-Shows...a pain yes but part of the territory nevertheless. Then the phone bleeped. He texted to say he was nearby and wanted to know where to come to. Ten minutes later a well built man in his late fifties was sat in our reception area, flustered, a bag of nerves made worse by traffic woes..it had taken nearly two hours to cover 56 miles. His hands were shaking visibly….a glass of iced water helped….he almost looked on the point of ‘bolting’. Minx and I recognised this and acted quickly to calm the man down; escorting is our business, and we can’t afford to lose out; luckily, we’re both VERY intuitive, and sensitive to client’s ‘needs’, especially those men who fit our niche, namely bi-curious/bisexual/submissive GenX and Baby-Boomer men.

John had seen our GIF targetting Cross-Dressers and was swayed by assurances in our profile that ‘he wasn’t the only one’ like him, and that many men feel ‘more comfortable to explore their sexuality in the presence of, and with active participation FROM, a kinky, sexually liberated female. Keeping it SAFE, SANE and friendly’. So many wannabe ‘clients’ read no further than the profile headline and send us silly texts or phone us asking about information clearly in the public domain….but John AKA Judith had read the lot. Most submissive men are like that….they tend to be ‘particular’, leaving no detail to chance, they dot their ‘i’s and they cross their ‘t’s almost without exception...they’re people WE UNDERSTAND. Some men we can identify as ‘subs’ even if they don’t recognise it themselves...some men fight it, some men ‘control it’, others it grows with age; once they’ve embraced it though, it will never leave. I’ve mentioned in posts before, the fascinating nature of our job….it’s not just about the sex, it’s the invitations into other people’s private worlds, and the opportunity for us to enrich their experience, that gives us the main satisfaction.

Once John had calmed down slightly, Minx led him away for feminisation. We have a good collection of wigs, lingerie, heels, make-up etc and Geeze was to leave the pair alone until summoned. Very soon, John was at ease, steadily morphing into ‘Judith’ with assistance from Minx in the make-up department. He shared with her some of his life history and emotions….stirring stuff, and its what’s prompted me to write this post. John had wrestled with his sexuality ALL HIS LIFE, since childhood. He recalled to Minx how when at school, boys fancied girls, but he didn’t; He wasn’t looking at their faces or their bodies, he was looking at their clothes, desperately wanting to wear them and to be like….a girl. Time didn’t allow Judith to go into every intricate detail, however, we did learn that Judith was married (for nearly 3 decades), had sex with his wife, but all the time still yearned to be…..a girl. And that craving hasn’t diminished with age. John’s condition is classic ‘Gender Dysphoria’...where a person experiences discomfort or distress because there’s a mismatch between their biological sex and gender identity. It’s a medical condition, not a mental illness. We GET IT! Five years ago John was driven to begin transition treatment taking oestrogen and anti-androgens. The purpose of those medications is twofold, to make recipients feel more comfortable within themselves, as well as to promote female secondary sex characteristics. Incredibly, John’s wife had no idea about any of this, even when breasts began to form, weight increased, and his skin started to soften. Sadly, John felt things were going a bit too far and backed off…..but the ITCH remains, and was the reason he found himself at our door. Thirty-Five minutes of discussion and feminisation took John to a more comfortable place and Geeze was invited in. Judith stood 6ft 2” tall, resplendent in blonde wig, heels, black hold-ups, and a black basque trimmed in red lace. You’ll be reading this and will likely have no experience of this kinda thing, and maybe you’re a bit sceptical, amused even….but DON’T JUDGE. Gender Dysphoria is very real, and most people would never believe how a man can be transformed...it just takes practise, skill and dedication. John’s a stocky Mancunian in a ‘man’s job’ whatever that means...but right now, John was Judith, and not bad looking either….with a decent pair of legs, and tits, not large it has to be said, but firm, smooth and very nearly a handful. Judith’s tits felt SOoooo alluring that Geeze couldn’t resist kneading them and sucking on the nipples, and not wanting to stop. While this took place her face contorted, almost as if she were in a different place to the rest of us…..a cross between pain and wonder I suppose you could describe it….Judith was now at peace, a WOMAN, and more to the point, being treated and respected as one. Minx joined us and we embraced as a trio, hands wandered to stimulate Judith’s clitoris (the very tip of her ‘penis’, which to be fair had started as a clitoris in the womb...did you know that guys?) and pert bottom. Judith masturbated furiously in-between our attentions, though we endeavoured to make sure she had little chance to, as we concentrated our efforts on maintaining her heightened state of arousal. We inquired as the whether she played with her cunt much to which she nodded; Geeze moved from massaging her buttocks and tits to running a lubed and gloved finger over her hole while Minx kissed. Geeze suggested some lesbian love, and the pair proceeded to play with each other. Geeze then went a step further, fingering Judith, encouraged by her moans of pleasure. Then it was two fingers. Geeze returned to her tits one last time to pump up his erection prior to donning a condom. Motioning Judith to position herself on her knees and across the bed, so she could get a good view of herself in the floor to ceiling mirrors, Geeze teased her cunt with his cock, streaming additional lube down the crack of her ass before ‘testing the water’. It seems Judith was ‘self lubricating’ and needed little encouragement from either of us to go ‘all the way’….within minutes Geeze at 7 inches was in balls deep. Clearly Judith was loving it, egging Geeze on….no ‘gently does it’ for her, she wanted to be fucked, and FUCKED HARD. Every which way. Crouching over the side of the bed from a standing position, and again on her back with knees drawn close-up to her titties…..the former position hit the spot for Geeze for he too was watching in the mirror, reaching a point of almost FRENZY yet still managing to hold off cumming. Minx sensed Judith was at the limits of her endurance, and suggested we switch to oral play instead. Changing position while Geeze removed his condom, Judith willed Geeze’s cock close to her face, then deep throated it; Again several positions were played out, all three of us fully engaged together…..She furiously masturbated again, prompting Geeze to suggest they cum simultaneously but it was too late….Judith climaxed messily, thick semen everywhere…..her kind get SOoooo impassioned they cum BIG. Around 20 seconds off cumming himself, Geeze missed out as Judith sat up quickly, exclaiming ‘That’s it! SOoooo good! Now I’m back to John again, and No I don’t want your cum!’ Rising to his feet, panic set in. What with the traffic on the way to us and a meeting that had strayed well over the 90 minutes allocated, he now realised he’d struggle to be back at work on time, 56 miles away. Judith rushed to the bathroom to rinse, Minx joining her to help eradicate all VISIBLE traces of femininity, then he was gone. It was interesting to watch her morph back into every-day mediocrity, even to the extent of donning a macho styled ‘official’s hi-vis overcoat’….back into a so called ‘normal life’; a life the likes of Trump and May would pigeon-hole all of us into, without a thought towards the individual. What’s ‘NORMAL’ anyway?

You subscribed to NVS to find out about Escort Couple life, We turn fantasy into reality, and we tell you the way it is….We thank you for your continued support.  Stay tuned, Be good, and remember: safe sex always! #KnowYourStatus, Luv, fun50couple xxx

https://www.fun-five-o.com is the place to go if you are a sexually liberated man or couple, straight, bisexual or gay, looking for sextoys & performance enhancers, Click the link.

Take a look at this interesting & informative review of ElectroPebble; You can order one from us at a fabulously LOW price, See above (fiun-five-0.com)

https://youtu.be/Hvobon9QV-8

* Please note we NEVER divulge people’s identities and we have changed some names and details to preserve complete anonymity.

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