MAY 2018

NEWS VIEWS n SCREWS

Fun50Couple-NEWS

LOOK!!! We're still needing two BiSexual Male Models/Performers for a PAID video shoot in the North East one weekend in JUNE. We have an experienced videographer booked, all we need is YOU to join us. Minimum age 35, Get in touch if you wanna get involved: 07981-726237  See our listing on http://Adult Industry Resorces site (AIR)

Hello Sexy Friends! How are we all doing? Good we hope! At least we've emerged from winter and we're seeing some SUN at last, though today as I write this in the North East there's still a cold Northerly wind. Things have been a lot hotter recently though in the bedroom with some extreme subbie action...(read more in SCREWS) plus a couple of newbie meets worthy of note, two guys who HAVE POTENTIAL 🙂 for sure, here's hoping we see them back! Regulars have filled the voids in-between thankfully, but there's no doubt our region is suffering from 'diminished disposable income' not helped by a crisis in the High Street with mass layoffs in the pipeline. Stockton, Middlesbrough, & Darlington are not good places to be right now.

We have suffered also through the thoughtless actions of a former client.  We have absolutely no problem with anyone seeing anyone-else at anytime, however, said punter chose to leave feedback to another service provider he visited immediately after visiting us twice in the same week 'off the record', two years after leaving us positive feedback. So to a prospective punter it looks like he chose 'Mrs Cheap n Cheerful & Her Husband' in preference to us 2 years on from his first visit, when in reality he'd seen us twice then her all in the space of 10 days. Some would point out that we could have contacted him since we were on good terms and got him to do a 'phantom booking' to get an up to date review but that's really not our style....our AdultWork profile is too precious to jeopardise; their site cleverly picks up certain phrases in emails and phoney bookings are monitored, Beware!  You might think we're over-reacting but the market in the NorthEast is very fragile with just 22 Couples advertising services. Only two of us have significant numbers of reviews, us 139, her 55.  Mrs C&C sees anyone and everyone from age 18 -80 and charges £60 for a half hour whereas we're at £160 for an hour, so you can see that in some peoples' minds there's a seed planted; whether they go on to book or whether they leave it for another time is another matter...we're perceived to be a hundred quid more; it's like they say.....sling enough shit and some will surely stick. Having said that most of our clients are passers-by or visitors from afar who come specially and we're not in the cheap & cheerful vanilla market, preferring the bicurious/bisexual/mature man/sub/crossdresser/heavier niche, nevertheless we HAVE BEEN affected.

So, we're concentrating on out-marketing her, finally managing after TWO YEARS to get our own fun50couple.com site accepted as a link by the webmasters at AdultWork, for which we're very grateful.

We've also upgraded our Punterlink profile; they too apparently are in the throws of a significant revamp in an attempt to capture more of the UK market. Geeze is busy studying SEO (Search Engine Optimization) via an online Academy which is costly but increasingly necessary particularly since Social Media is unravelling and turning out not to be the 'be all and end all' when it comes to promotion of services and goods.  SEO is regaining its importance not least with regard to Adult Services which can't be promoted through Google or Facebook advertising. We've used a free website auditing service for a couple of years but didn't fully understand it so upgraded to the PRO version. This has gained us access to the Academy, and in just two weeks we've seen SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENTS to website performance after implementing their recommendations. Fun50couple.com has always rated well with Google, but the same can't be said for FUN-FIVE-0 which stubbornly remains off the radar. That is the reality of the internet folks. Tens of Millions of sites are invisible to SEARCH, and found only through referral or direct links. The sextoy market is well and truly saturated so to get anywhere near the top of SERPS, you need serious brainpower & deep knowledge....work in progress! We think that a lot of adult retailers will go to the wall in the next couple of years...have you seen the offers recently, like at Bondara for example? We've used them for years. They were literally GIVING AWAY massage wands last week! All one had to do was spend £35 and they'd include a free wand chosen at random & ship it to you FOC with your order. But get this.....the wands were worth between £35 and £114 retail! They've also been giving 60% off bondage items; Its crazy, because we're buying goods from Bondara for less than we can get them from our preferred wholesaler, what's more they're delivered for FREE! Needless to say we took advantage, and invested in some serious additions to our ever-growing collection, saving nearly two hundred and fifty quid in the process, ROCK and ROLL! We bought premium leather cuffs, a new cane, two new soft leather hoods for sensory deprivation, AND a fabulous heavy duty straitjacket in canvas & leather, NOT for the faint hearted. Geeze can't get past two minutes in it partially strapped up before panicking LOL! Other's though have told us they feel a sense of calm when restrained, strapped and hooded....classic subby stuff and feelings we respect. It's an area of great interest, especially to Minx who's gaining more and more confidence and understanding of the dom role as time passes.

As a couple we're forever pushing boundaries, and enjoying the ride. It's a very satisfying feeling working together in a double dom scenario delivering upon a client's expectations not least because so many of them have been disappointed elsewhere. We're seeing growing evidence of dissatisfaction through punters' letters, complaining that most younger service providers lack depth or empathy, with large numbers either immigrants and/or people using the industry as nothing more than a means to make a fast buck. FOSTA/SESTA may end up doing the likes of us a favour, forcing the chancers out of business, leaving the field clear and PROFITABLE for the Remainers...haha, couldn't resist that, not that I/we are in that camp when it comes to the EU! Talking of FOSTA, that neatly brings me to......

Fun50Couple-VIEWS

Do you recall the panic last month which beset our industry as a consequence of the American legislation? Well, during the course of FOSTA discussion on Twitter I struck up a conversation with a certain HRHCountessCane (https://twitter.com/CountessCaneToo), a dom in New York City. Doms set themselves apart from 'sexworkers' with some insisting their vocation has nothing to do with sex, a moot point perhaps and not up for debate here.  HOWEVER, it is fair to say that a good many in their ranks are highly intelligent people with a good 'handle' on what makes people tick. Their 'stock in trade' if you like is knowledge of 'the mind', how it works and how it can be manipulated, or the other way round. They like us, study people. Intently. Their minds like ours, never switch off; Life is work, work is life. It becomes a lifestyle. But it's a secretive existence, and you learn to trust NO-ONE, and tend not to speak to many folk about it. So, it's heartening to learn about others' trials and tribulations' on platforms like social media. The best bit is you discover commonality, and I was amused to read a Tweet by HRH Cane regarding the word 'Hey'! The tweet grew into a thread over days and the content matched our experiences EXACTLY. You see, only around 2% of 'Hey's' ever materialise as paying clients. Hey has been adopted by the Millenial generation as the 'standard greeting' and it's latest re-incarnation stems from the mid 90's. It's use in history however goes back way further....Hey, take a look!. Back in the 70s at school in Northamptonshire, the word was not normal as a form of greeting, but for some reason I had a habit of using it; I don't know whether it was because I was an avid follower of all things American (and still am...the local area was full of American Air Force personel plus there was the then new Santa Pod dragstrip within earshot) or whether it was just me...what I DO REMEMBER was every time I uttered it I was subjected to ridicule, with comments along the lines of  'Hay's what horses eat' often accompanied by a thump or a kneeing. Kids can be cruel. Which is probably why to this day, neither I nor Minx like them very much. Even back then my bisexual tendencies had been picked on, as had my disinterest in track & field sport of any kind...60% of the kids were from military families and fiercely competitive, and like most places, the establishment revolved around football, so if ball control wasn't your thing, you were a 'spaz' ...yeah....look that one up guys....you'll find it under '70's slang'. I was drawn instead to drag racing, part-time work, American cars and flying, all stuff these kids laughed at and took the piss out of.....thoroughly miserable days I can tell you; at least I was spared the 'mother was a whore' jibes as an adopted child.....the bisexuality/hey/American car thing seemed to supersede everything else.

Fuck them anyway....I was DIFFERENT for sure, and in society, people don't like DIFFERENT do they?

You follow the fold...that's what you do, that's what football is all about...the tribal mentality. Well I didn't follow the fold and I don't now. I reckon you can observe kids as young as 9 or 10, and form a pretty accurate picture of how they're going to turn out as adults.....Anyway, I went on to fly gliders, soloing at 16, I had a Private Pilot's License at 20, a share in a plane at 21, and had got through a dozen V8 muscle cars before most of the boys had even graduated. So 'Hey' conjures up a lot of emotion. Countess Kane tweeted that 99.99% of 'Heys' are a waste of time but conceded she still gives them the benefit of the doubt, but get's 'bitten' every time. She tells us she wakes every morning as do we, to any number of 'Hey's' (5 is the record so far) on her mobile....Hey's who have sent texts at 3 in the morning.....sometime's it's just Hey, sometimes it's Hey you avalable {sic}, invariably it's some-one who has NO IDEA how to communicate. Sex, even paid sex (or domination for that matter) is all about communication guys! Its about connection. If there's NO CONNECTION there's NO ERECTION, simple as. This isn't us ranting about generations...this is us and the good Countess watching the same thing play out day after day. Millenials will say 'this is how we do business' in that they send a hundred texts before even thinking about a 15 minute booking, and only IF YOU PLAY THEIR GAME. Millenials are famous for only paying for the minimum they need and no more....sorry guys but this is sex we're talking about here, and you don't get 'sensual' and you don't get 'quality' in 15 minutes. But to be fair, sex IS BUSINESS, we know that. And in Britain we do 'PILE IT HIGH and SELL IT CHEAP' very well. Better than anywhere else. We also excel at SHORT TERM THINKING, from Whitehall down. So in reality people often buy into cheap and end up buying twice.  So I guess there IS a place for Mrs Cheap n Cheerful after all. Fortunately there are sufficient numbers of PNC's (potential new clients) who DO take time & trouble to read profiles, send sensible messages, introduce themselves properly, make formal bookings AND actually turn up on the day.....and you know what? They're the guys who end up going to places most men will only ever DREAM ABOUT! Far out man.

Fun50Couple-REVIEW

Some of you may have noticed we've been trailing a review of Zuyosa, a natural sexual vitality supplement for men. Clients have told us that 'pills' are all very well, but they want proof that they work. They also need to be re-assured they're SAFE. The ED market is now flooded with Viagra as the big supermarkets and pharmacies clamour to board the gravy train, so it comes as no surprise that interest in sexual performance enhancers has exploded. Huge numbers of men still, won't seek medical advice from their GP about erectile disfunction or buy over a counter for fear of embarrassment and ridicule, while others who can't take pharma products due to medical conditions, look to natural remedies instead. We see many guys with ED, across all age groups, and are busy planning better ways to present good proven safe products to this group. Our new online magazine GEN-SEX associated with FUN-FIVE-0 is the first step in that process & you'll find a detailed review of Zuyosa in the first issue launching in mid JULY. Stay tuned.

Fun50Couple-SCREWS

Hmmmm, this month we're going EXTREME again, so hold on tight. Meet Julie. Julie is a scientist from Cornwall working away from home in Leeds of all places. We've seen him (yeah you read that right) several times at his smart rented house in the suburbs. Julie works all hours pushing the frontiers of science in collaberation with others scattered all over the world across different time-zones, so you can see rightaway that her life is FULL ON. A bit like her fetish.

Julie is in her early 50's and has been a lifelong submissive since the age of 17 so we're told. Julie's married to a wife who knows all about his kink. Things got a bit too much for her by all accounts, as Julie conceded that he'd allowed himself to be beaten so severely by an over-zealous dom, the wounds took 6 months to heal, OUCH! So now, there's a loose agreement with the other half, that there will be 'No Marking'. You see, one of the things about submission and trust is that you push yourself to a new limit and then a bit more; there's trust between the dom/sub. The dom trusts the sub to tell him when enough's enough, the sub trusts the dom to stop on the safe word or by intuition. It's all agreed via consultation beforehand, or should be. But many of us will have experienced that bittersweet feeling when we want to stop but we want to carry on too, so we stay silent. That's part of the attraction.

The first time we met Julie, the door opened halfway and we were beckoned into a dimly lit hallway. Julie appeared as a 6 ft 6 inch figure dressed in PVC from head to foot; Full mask, a PVC body and skirt, 5 inch patent heels, almost sinister looking, talking in a soft slightly menacing tone, with only her mouth and eyes visible, .

I'm not going to share with you the details about that first liaison except that on the kitchen sideboard, there lay eight dildos, all rubbered up ready and a large strapon with balls. I am not exagerating when I use the word HUGE to describe these toys....special order items standing a good 10-12 inches tall, with sucker pads and impressive girth; scented lubes too...clearly Julie craved the 'filled up feeling', that deep guttural sensation that extreme anal play delivers, problem is, as many doms will testify, it's so very ADDICTIVE. I myself started down the same road 15 years ago and decided it had to stop, so literally binned off every one of my toys.  A lot of folk drawn to the scene tend to be 'All or Nothing' types, able to resist 'activity' for long periods of time, until the 'itch' invariably returns. It's the 'nature of the beast'. (Which somewhat perversley, reminds me of a recent film about Dennis Skinner, and worth a look ) Julie insists that 2018 is to be 'his last year' before settling down to a more conventional married life. Yeah right!!!!!!! 🙂  🙂

I'm going to jump to yesterday, our fourth visit. It was a hot day with clear blue skies. We tapped the door and walked straight in, to find J once again in PVC but this time sporting red knickers in an Indian style with sparkling jewels, beneath an expensive maids outfit,worn over a PVC tunic, topped off by the PVC hood. Julies long legs were dressed in nude patterned fishnets, with 5" red and black patent shoes. There had been much discussion between Minx and I about Julie's 'wants and needs' beforehand, so we had a good handle on how the meet might progress....Julie was tight for time, so unlike the other occasions that spanned several hours this was scheduled to be a 60 minute quickie. While the two ladies talked softly and closely to one another Geeze visited the bathroom, passing by a big black strap-on all ready rubbered up sat on the kitchen sideboard. Upon his return to the living room the two girls were kissing hard so Geeze got down to pleasuring Julies clitty; a fleshy mound of silky smooth ballbag forced out between the constraints of a polycarbonate CB6000 chastity cage. At 2.5" J's penis was more like a clitoris anyhow. Minx had the key for the chastity device from a fortnight ago, and to the best of my knowledge it lays in her handbag still. We haven't got round to negotiating terms for release just yet; we're still feeling our way on those kinda deals...like I say, sexuality, our sexuality, her sexuality, your sexuality, they're all JOURNIES. You just gotta take the first step! Master aka Geeze sought pleasure and Julie desperately wanted to oblige. Kneeling upon the thick piled carpet as Geeze reclined in the sofa, she found Geeze's erect cock, taking it deeply into her mouth and well down her throat. The intense oral continued uninterupted for a full 15 minutes by which time Julies mouth was frothing with spit, the kind of drool one associates with deep cock sucking, almost like a lube. Geeze was on the point of cumming but was able to control it nevertheless, as Minx demanded attention on her own body. Sat on the pouffe, she was perfectly placed for Julie to go down on her from a kneeling position, to savor her juices. Meanwhile Geeze rubbered up, before gently removing a small pink plug from Julies mancunt. As she arched her body to reach for Minx's sex, Geeze was able to pull the Maids outfit clear of her bottom, revealing the red lace panties with their pretty fake jewels (Ann Summers apparently Grrrrrrrrrrrr!) Pulling them aside, Geeze threaded his dick through one of the jewelled loops to find Julies love hole, entering firmly but with tenderness, then slipping in all the way to gasps of appreciation from the PVC clad sub. Very soon it was hard and fast and FULL ON...Geeze had remembered from previous visits the right angle of entry needed to hit her spot, so it was onto his haunches for a good royal fucking. We had asked Julie how a cock, even one bigger than average, could possibly begin to satisfy her desires when her cunt seemed accustomed to such huge dildos?

Julie told us it was the rhythm, and Geeze was on song for sure if the intensity of her groans and moans was anything to go by.

After 15 minutes of intercourse, Geeze paused, and made his way to the kitchen, leaving the two girls to pleasure one another. It was time for something bigger, a lot bigger. Geeze fastened the big black strapon round his thighs and waist, squashing his own semi flaccid penis beneath the dildo's balls, before returning to the Living Room. Lubed up, the BBC slid in easily, and before long Geeze was once again pounding Julie's mancunt as Minx squatted next to her face gradually pulling it in close, before ejaculating over her with an almighty gush, soaking the hood and a good portion of the Maid's outfit. Geeze told Julie he wanted to be brought off, so quickly transferred the strapon to Minx, then pushed the pouffe close to the fireplace to allow room for the three of us to move and stretch...nothing like a bit of tension in the limbs at times like this! Geeze positioned himself on the cushion with his back leaning against the brick fire surround, legs wide open, as once again Julie pleasured his cock, intermittently sucking and wanking, willing it to shoot its load. Julie confided that she'd subscribed to our AdultWork Private Gallery three times in a week just to view the picture of herself sucking Geeze on a previous visit....the thoughts of other men viewing that image was a turn on for Julie; the brain is often referred to as the biggest sex organ after all. Geeze didn't disapppoint, with a powerful plume of jism, 4 or 5 good pumps vertically up into the air, landing back down on subby's hood and shoulders with a splat. Time was almost up, and Minx wanted more. I only wish I'd taken the camera....Julie had allowed us to take pictures before on condition they were edited, but this time we'd left it at home. Words can't adequately paint the scene, which could only be described as pure erotica. Minx lay sprawled on the floor, her head under the drop of the curtain a foot short of the floor, illuminated by bright sunshine bleeding through a gap in the blind. Black satin lingerie contrasted vividly with silky white thighs open, knees bent, with subby's masked head framed in-between. Her own PVC fet outfit seemed to just melt away into the gloom of the room behind. The closing moments saw Minx cum once again before Julie called it  day; the heat within the PVC was becoming too much, the mask came off and our scientist re-appeared...that's what happens with subs...they get lost in another world, sometimes so much so that they have to be brought back gradually... one of the attractions of puppy play apparently....maybe we'll go there too one day, who knows, Until next time....

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