MAY '17 








Well Hello Sexy Friends! What a whirlwind of a month we’ve had! Minx being ill piled on the misery from a finances POV and put pressure on time which contributed to us scaling down NEWS VIEWS n SCREWS frequency as reported in last ish 🙁 .We’re back firing on all cylinders now I’m glad to say, and currently on tour in London, from where I’m writing this #SundayMorning. We’re hoping to revert back to publishing NVS twice monthly again, and sooner rather than later. I follow other similar sexbloggers, some very well-known and it’s been interesting to observe recently that some of them too have suffered similar woes to us with regard to getting their blogs out. Collectively our big problem is TIME…not enough of it in this digital world and despite our best efforts we’ve not yet found a keen IT student to come on board part-time. That’s a shame. And shame too to the stuck up careers/business adviser on the payroll of Bishop Auckland College who chose to put the phone down on me upon learning we were in the Adult Industry. We’re offering a young person £13 an hour to start, with good prospects of full time work upon graduation PLUS a profit share option!  It’s the same old story…stigma attached to our industry, never mind that the leading player LoveHoney received Queens Awards for Industry personally from the queen at Buck House! Or, that here in the UK, it’s a ¼ billion£ industry and still rapidly growing!? So Guys, if you know some-one who might be interested then send them to this link:   If they’re from an area of the country outside London or the North East then so be it, we’re just going to have to cast the net wider.

To make it worth your while if you find some-one and they eventually come on board with us, we’ll give you a £50 credit on FUN-FIVE-0….Wow!

Other NEWS is that we’ve been doing a lot of research about Electrosex. Its been around since the early Noughties but many, including us, have had no contact (heehee) with it. It’s a fascinating world which promises much. We’re going to go with E-Stim, primarily because they’re British, they manufacture here, they offer a lifetime guarantee, their product range is MASSIVE with over 180 e-stim items, and they provide a wealth of information about the whole scene. We’re intending to invest in a middle of the range power box this week, with some upscale accessories. Already we’ve trailed our intentions via the Adult Work Private Gallery, and guys are asking us when we’ll be up and running with it; answer is, around a fortnight. We’ll bring you more about how we get on with it in the next ish of NVS, and of course, we’ll be adding some of the sets to our portfolio of products on FUN-FIVE-0.


Some subscribers will remember us mentioning before that Escort work ebbs and flows and over time we’ve noticed some correlation with the ‘mood’ of the country, no kidding. If things are stable and bright then the inquiries are steady. When they’re gloomy or there’s a bit of a crisis, it gets very up n down, and you don’t need us to tell you that there’s a ton of worry out on the street just now.  You may not have seen this clip from the Guardian, but the headline 'Never before in my adult life has the future seemed so bleak for progressives' neatly sums up our thoughts, and those of many of our lovely clients who are, in the main, GenX or BabyBoomers, take a look:

As political animals, it’s hard for us to turn it all off with us constantly monitoring social media feeds for the sake of our biz, but turn off we must, and focus instead on keeping our lovely clients H>A>P>P>Y and wanting to come back for more. Its times like these that one has to concentrate on delivering a service better than anyone else. We get DM’s on a daily basis from followers envious of our meets who think our life is one of GLORIOUS HEDONISM on steroids; that is not the case….it’s a business like any other; striving to be the best and making every effort to get customers wanting to come back for more; There’s nothing like hard times to sort the wheat from the chaff. We’re never complacent…each meeting is prepared for meticulously with the hope that our client leaves with a smile on his face and he leaves us a comment like this (recently on Adult Work, thanks ‘G’, we love you)…..


We’re often startled by stories from clients about other service providers. There’s some pretty grim stuff out there believe me…tales of filthy premises, escorts being nothing like their profiles, unexpected extra charges, theft, etc abound. My guess is that the platform is better than most, it’s certainly far and away the biggest, and their regulatory framework seems to work well. Many of you won’t know that several escort websites just lift details off others without the members’ permission, and then seek to prosper from it. McCoys is an example. They’ve copied and uploaded our details without permission, and hawked them out there in the hope they’ll get money from new subscribers to their shabby site. So folks, if you’re looking for a good time, stick to or independent escort sites like our own  and ffs DO YOUR HOMEWORK!!!! So many Millennials just don’t bother reading past the headline…these are hard times, and an escort booking is a LUXURY SERVICE for many, so READ the PROFILES and look out for those little signs that cast doubt; for example, low feedback score, blocked access to feedback, poor spelling and grammar, tiny pictures, when were they last logged on, when was their last feedback, are there field reports? We meet and hear from so very many guys who’ve been bitten or had an horrific experience, DON’T LET THAT BE YOU, OK?


This past month we’ve had the usual mixed bag of meets, however, two stand out. One was with a guy from Sweden, the other was our #1 client who we’ll call Shaun. #1 sometimes drops to #2 but then we get a meet like the other day with him and he’s restored to #1. Why do these two guys regularly swap places in our ranking I hear you ask? Well that’s for us to know and you to wonder, sorry! 🙂 All you need know is that one has a cock to die for, the other’s a very warm individual with a personality to die for; both have become ‘friends’ and we’ve lost count of the number of times we’ve met them; certainly well into the teens c15-16 times. We have a #3 too, and there’s talk of getting all three of them together with us two, a logistical nightmare, but worth the trouble; I guess it’ll happen at some stage: four bi men + Minx, Love it Love it Love it 🙂 anyway back to Swede. I’ll share the story with you about Shaun another time. (it was text book PSE). The meet with Swede took 4 months to arrange because the guy is an expat, returning to Blighty around 4 times a year for family and other biz.

Swede is typical of many of the QUALITY guys we meet in that he took the time and trouble to craft a very detailed initial email, in stark contrast to others..

who’ll send messages like ‘hi’ or ‘are yous available?’ Swede wrote a good page of A4 divulging details of his changing sexuality and experience to date along with other information showing he’d lived a life similar to us in many ways. All looked good from the OFF. And so it proved, with us eventually meeting in a luxury Northumbrian castle one Saturday evening. We clocked Swede within seconds of arriving at the hotel, a good looking balding guy, late 50s, with a slim body and a broad smile as we made eye contact, before joining him in a booth close to the bar. The place was on the quiet side…we’d expected it to be busy, but then a lot of these kind of places make their money from weddings, with times in between a bit slack, no worries….Drinks were ordered, and it wasn’t long before Minx was flirting with Swede under the table, whilst we engaged in animated conversation about sex, politics and work lives. It turned out this guy had enjoyed two professional careers, the second was with the security services…captivating stuff. Minx gets very turned on by foreplay….conversational or physical; Swede was a super guy; we’d allowed ourselves to be seduced somewhat by some of his prior shall we say ‘salacious’ emails, so expectations were high. Early impressions in the bar were favourable. How would things play out in the bedroom we wondered?

45 minutes later, we followed Swede through a maze of well-maintained carpeted corridors and stairways. There were antiques at every corner and shining displays of medieval armour, so the big old oak four poster suite we ended up in seemed entirely appropriate for the occasion.

Swede was clearly intensely aroused, evident from the impressive bulge seeking release from tight beige trousers;

a smart short sleeved shirt was rapidly unbuttoned, to reveal big pert nipples ripe for play. Swede owned his body for sure…he KNEW how to ROCK, knew what buttons to press. He certainly wasn’t like ‘the many’ who don’t know if their nipples are sensitive, who don’t know that their anus has more nerve endings than the average clit, who have never touched themselves intimately anally, who’ve never used a sextoy, had anal sex or even masturbated with or in front of their so sad, but true 🙁 and so very B>O>R>I>N>G!

But then that’s our job….to widen these people’s horizons and give them a good time. Some of them have lived in a sexual wilderness for decades...

before plucking up the courage to do something about it, usually when the realisation hits them upon reaching the big FIVE-0, that life is indeed short 🙁 .

Geeze needed the loo, Minx was kissing Swede, then shortly after Geeze returned & Minx freshened up. Swede had already told us by email that he was way more than bi-curious and quite experienced sexually. He’d been really looking forward to it, as had we. Swede had always identified himself as straight but said he was fascinated by the odd glimpse of transsexual porn over the years, admitting to wanking on several occasions at the thought of sucking a Transexual’s cock. Twenty years ago he went camping with a friend, got a little drunk, and reached inside his friends sleeping bag to feel his cock; heavy petting followed, though by morning the incident was conveniently ‘forgotten’….shrouded by a cloud of embarrassment, and never mentioned again. The seed was planted though. Swede searched for more of the same over the years, and hooked up with men occasionally, enjoying the experience, but admitting to feeling ashamed immediately afterwards 🙁 . There then would follow a period of months until the itch returned, to be satisfied once again with more same-sex fun.  Swede later decided to go a step further and meet a transsexual, finding intense fulfillment with an Asian beauty in London around 5 years ago. Still, Swede identified himself as straight and married…just.

The TS thing he really enjoyed; meets got hotter and wilder, with fucking both ways…

Swede’s now calling himself bi-curious (REALLY???) though hated the ‘label’, knowing deep down, as do so many, that ‘bi-curious’ didn’t really truly define his sexuality. He joined a bi-sexual website and was contacted by a gay male couple who wanted a threesome….Swede described the experience to me in emails…there was a lot of fun, a lot of hard sex, a lot of honest discussion and at the end of the weekend Swede knew he wasn’t bi-curious anymore! (I bet the gay couple didn’t talk much about that meet with their peers!) As a sexual adventurer Swede had now slept with countless escorts, been reasonably happily married for a good few years, slept with transsexuals, slept with 2 women (FFM), slept with two men (MMM) but one thing was left…sleeping with a bisexual MF escort couple like us hence our meet. After researching AW for many months, he’d picked us, and very pleased we were to have been chosen!  With Minx freshening up, the two guys were left chatting, Swede, naked to the waist with the bulge growing by the second.

The heavy expectation and excitement generated by the email ping-pong suddenly exploded into action with Geeze unbuttoning Swede

exposing a seriously impressive and thick 8”+ cock standing to attention. Within seconds both men were naked, aching for each other, there was no waiting for Minx (utterly selfish I know)…bodies and cocks were pushed tightly together and the two guys embraced. Swede had texted earlier in the day saying he was horny as hell and hadn’t masturbated for a week; he was saving it for today. In no time at all, both men were on the 4 poster writhing around together, soon joined by Minx; ‘Couldn’t you guys wait?’ she exclaimed, dropping down on to the bed where we all wrapped arms around one another in a close three-way, kissing, licking, talking….we all wanted to know everything about each other, wanted to taste each other, and YES, fuck each other :). Minx gripped one of the 4 poster uprights and gave us an impromptu pole dance before laying back on the bed to enjoy the attentions of both men, thrilling them with powerful squirts from her heaving gilf pussy. This was a no holes barred meeting for sure, with man on man on woman….no strap on (this time)…serious action which went on for well over an hour, culminating in Swede letting go inside Minx (protected). It has to be said that these kind of meets are the exception rather than the norm…we all truly C>O>N>N>E>C>T>E>D, it was like we’d known each other for years and felt so NATURAL. Three seriously sex positive and SEXUAL people getting off big time, and truly DELICIOUS.  Why are these kinds of meets not the ‘norm’ may you wonder? So many of you DM me on Twitter making assumptions that our life is one big glorious fuckfest…well my friends…it probably would be if potential new clients took the trouble to plan and communicate to the extent Swede had done. We’ve mentioned it before…if you want good sex, it ALWAYS stems from good communication! Got that guys????  An introductory email which says nothing more than ‘Hey…r you guys available’ or ‘Hi, love your pics, you are a very sexy lady, how much to cum over your ass?’  (Two very recent examples)….isn’t going to give you much chance of success when it comes to setting up a meeting like the one we had with Swede.

Savvy subscribers will notice that I always like to tie the three parts of NVS together somehow. This month of course, all of our lives have been dominated by daily news of politics. It’s a war out there between two very different sides….in stark contrast to previous campaigns seen over the past 10-15 years. Many folk disenfranchised themselves from politics because they couldn’t see much point in voting; they reckoned there was little to differentiate one party from another.

I predict that there will be a significant % of the population in total confusion as to which way they vote this time though.

Many are faced with am uncomfortable dilemma…they like Brexit, but they don’t like Hard Right. On the other hand there are many who empathize with Labour’s manifesto, and seek a fairer, kinder Britain, but will these people vote for Corbyn and his Hard Left aspirations? OR, will they stay confused, and not vote at all…and we end up with a Tory landslide? Britain has changed bigtime over the past couple of years. We’re a polarised society with an ever widening gap between rich and poor, the ‘have’s and the 'have nots'. It started with the Banking crisis of 2008. Traditionally the attitude towards the ‘have nots’ was to tell them to get off their asses and climb the ladder of success; today the majority of the ‘have nots’ are hardworking people, graduates some of them (FFS!) trying to make ends meet working 2 jobs and silly hours 🙁 . As escorts, we meet all kinds of guys from every strata of society, from Captains of industry to self -employed tradesmen, most of them with one thing in Common….a broken relationship, or a non-existent relationship.

Most of us strive for a life of happiness, to find love, success, to stay healthy and live long; in reality few achieve all those things.

So many folk are driven by money and a perceived need to ‘perform’ at whatever cost, all too often to the detriment of their relationship. Right now, we’re seeing this kind of Western existence beginning to be questioned; At long last. A successful escort is a person who can switch off from work in an instant and move on; it’s a bit like working in the emergency services….the client’s problem is not YOUR PROBLEM; Yes, you can empathize with them totally, Yes you sometimes like them loads, for an hour anyway, and truly believe you that you really do like them…after all…you’re FUCKING THEM!! Then they’re gone. And do you know what? We’ll be talking together as Minx and Geeze an hour afterwards and we’ve often forgotten the guy’s name or even what he looked like…it’s almost as if the mind protects itself, and wipes itself clean…ready for the next encounter. And that my friends is pretty much what goes on in EVERYBODY’s life to a degree; look around you. You’ll have so very many ‘friends’ for sure. But WTSHTF (look it up!!!) will they be there? Probably not 🙁 . In reality most of us will only ever find a few TRUE friends, maybe just one or two, in a lifetime.  Many will even marry people and never really get to know the TRUE person behind the ‘mask’…until there’s a crisis, when its too late. As escorts and very ‘human’ people we’re able to pick up ‘vibes’ from kindred spirits; many sexy people are like that. They're usually very sensual people too; They can pick the vibe up in all sorts of ways. It can be a look. It can be a word or phrase in a conversation. It can be from reading between the lines of an email. As a writer of adult content and an active sexworker I’m in contact with many who share an interest in sexuality and happiness. I’d like to close by sharing a few lines from an email I received recently…from a stranger, but a kindred spirit nevertheless, a gay female aged around 30. It’s right on the button:

"I witness everyone around me popping out babies, getting married, moving etc. while I'm still chasing the sense of just being content... plain and simple. I just want to finally relax into my life... enjoy this amazing relationship that we've built with S**** (and you're right, communication is EVERYTHING) for what it is... work for ourselves, be our own bosses. I don't know if these are even achievable in today's society anymore... 

I would love to meet you once somehow, so unlikely that we would have such similar views on the world, but sometimes it's like I'm reading my own emails, hahaha.... And yes, there are very few people out there who just "get you"... we only have one close friend, cause we just never seem to find anyone who doesn't care about clubbing, instragramming, living only for the outside/appearances (if you know what I mean by that). Seriously, posturing, games, falsehoods... I cannot stand it.. no wonder that so many young people just complain all the time about not finding partners, of course, because they are looking for a completely unrealistic ideal and have no intention to compromise on anything ever. They seem to think that you have to find THE perfect partner, any mistake, misunderstanding, miscommunication or the slightest dip in desire or the slightest sign of boredom and they move on or make a huge drama out of it... I don't know how much of this is due to smartphones and social media though. I'm quite sceptical about both of those to be honest and I do think that they corrode people's perception of reality. 

And YESSSS! Gay, bi, queer, pan people are sooo much more in tune with not just their own bodies, but with their own genders I think as well... what I mean is, that straight men still can be so wound up about their masculinity that it's borderline hilarious... No, prostate massage, pegging etc does not make you gay. No, desiring another man does not mean that you can now only have sex with men. No, bisexual is not closeted gay. Yes, your masculinity can stay intact just cause you like to take it up the bum from time to time! I think women are still better on this front, it's men who need to wake up to their own sexuality more! "

I couldn’t have put it any better myself! Until next time....We turn fantasy into reality, and we tell you the way it is….You subscribe to our newsletter 'NEWS VIEWS & SCREWS' and to find out what it’s really like to be an EscortCouple, We thank you for your support, Stay tuned, safe sex always, until next time, Luv, fun50couple xxx


* Please note we NEVER divulge people’s identities and we have changed some names and details to preserve complete anonymity

© fun50couple 2017