Image of UK Mature Escort Couple fun50couple at ChristmasDECEMBER '21 'NEWS VIEWS & SCREWS'      ESCORT LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE




Dear Sexy Friends, Hello and a warm welcome to December's News Views & Screws. You'll notice we're back publishing more frequently because 1) we're doing more meetings & rejecting 'the new abnormal', and 2) we know how important it is to keep talking to 'like minded souls' in these dark times. Coming hot on the heels of their directive regarding content consent, AdultWork in their 'wisdom', have now started concealing contact numbers & email addresses to anyone other than members. Formerly, anyone entering the site could see phone numbers and private email addies, but this all changed about a fortnight ago. We were tipped off first by clients who couldn't find our details, then later by other service providers as one by one, they discovered what had happened. Still struggling after 21 months of restrictions, many escorts have reported a steep drop in inquiries. Talk about kicking people when they're down...Kicking someone when they're down, Karma

Yesterday, AW gave in to pressure and restored the numbers, but warned they're set to re-introduce the policy next year. They've tried to tell us they introduced the measures 'because service providers requested it' which I doubt. OR, if they did, it would have been amateurs escorting for pocket money who asked for it IMAO, to keep them more 'anonymous' and out of public view. Another possible explanation is they want to emphasize it's a 'club' and not an agency. Around 60-70% of Professional Escort's inquiries are from punters who won't sign up to the site for fear of security breeches or indiscretion. Without these people, we're DONE. Unless of course we're on numerous portals and/or have our own independent websites. WE do have those things in place, nevertheless we still rely heavily on AW. Escorts we've spoken to are universally ANGRY about these restrictions, not least because we're charged to display our numbers. It costs £1 a day on top of £5/day for availability,  £2 to £2-40 a day to feature as a 'Local Escort' and anything up to £60-70 a day for featuring as a female escort nationally. Multiply that little lot by 20-30 days a month & you're talking serious wonga. To add insult to injury, AW also won't show your profile or tours to the wider audience unless you're paying for at least one 'EXTRA' feature. Clients express surprise when we tell them those figures...because they don't have to pay to be members they don't think we do either!  AW competitors come and go, and never seem to succeed, not to any great extent anyway. Viva Street lead by a country mile when it comes to SERPS & web traffic, but quality in general of their service providers is poor; 'cheap & cheerful' if you will, & most of them of foreign origin...enough said. Viva are hellishly inefficient too & almost impossible to do sensible business with, so we don't go there either.

In truth, there are few escorting sites out there 'fit for purpose' and MODERN. To be fair, AdultWork does function quite well, but they're not moving much with the times. They're reactive instead of proactive, forever responding belatedly to diktaks from the likes of MasterCard & Government instead of embracing new technologies. They've made hundreds of millions of pounds as middlemen & new tech threatens to remove them as intermediaries for good. They're hanging on to what they're used to, aka GREED & EXPLOITATION. Times are changing.  It's time for a new kid on the block whos first and foremost MISSION is to help people, not screw them over. To help service providers find clients and to help clients find a safe sane outlet for their desires. Billionaires consistently tell you that if you chase money you won't find it; but when you help others & solve a problem the money will find you. Regular readers will know we've been wrestling with this for a couple of years. We've now resumed work on the site we had 30% built; it's not truly 'state of the art' but it is DIFFERENT. We can't really do what we want at this stage, IE build a blockchain based solution, so it's going to be a case of taking BABY STEPS onward & upward. Stay tuned & support us on our digital journey.

In November we told you about, it's now LIVE & we've fixed the glitch in the crypto payment gateway. If you're 'old skool' & don't have cryptos (one day you will trust me) we've added a Faster Payment option. You'll also see a QR code for CashApp but a couple of customers have experienced difficulties using that method, something we're investigating.

Escort Tour location: London BridgeUPCOMING ESCORTING TOUR: subject to advance bookings backed by deposits received BEFORE 31st December 2021: London Bank area close to London Bridge, Fenchurch Street, Bank & Monument stations: Sunday January 2nd to Thursday January 6th 2022. Call Minx to arrange times 07981-726237. We've chosen this location so it's easier to get to wherever you live in the Capital, North South, East or West, and if you work in the City it's 'do-able' in your lunch hour. We look forward to meeting you, yes YOU!


Looking back it's been a rough year. As so called 'conspiracy theorists' we were at least prepared for it. Everything we heard from speakers about how things were predicted to play out, in Birmingham last Summer, in Darlington & Newcastle this year, from broadcasters like Gerald Celente (Trends Journal) & David Clews at UNN (Unity News Network) also No More Lockdowns UK - either HAVE HAPPENED since &/or CONTINUE TO HAPPEN. We're bracing ourselves for lockdown after Christmas & more money printing by Wonder-boy, with hyper inflation in 2022 & beyond as a consequence. We're also anticipating further legal breeches by Johnson's government aided & abetted by Captain Hindsight on the other side. Fairplay to the good people of North Shropshire yesterday who voted for change. As we see it, Covid rules in the UK at the behest of the NWO and when that starts to die, we expect more control measures attributable to climate change policy. We speak to a lot of people up & down the country from high rollers to middle & lower classes, while working as sex workers and as political activists. Most of them get ALL their news from the BBC, Sky, Channel 4 & mainstream media. Folks, turn off the teLIEvision & do your own research! You'll be surprised at what you find. I'll leave it there. Whatever your view we respect it, however, we ask you to RESPECT OURS TOO, as it seems more and more likely we're on the side of TRUTH, COMMON SENSE & JUSTICE.

Unfortunately the same can't be said for most of the world's big corporations especially BigTech & BigPharma.  Since the last issue of NVS, we've been doing more research around metaverses. You've probable heard about Facebook's rebranding to 'Meta'. You may even be a tad confused about the reasoning behind it, and also unsure of what the 'metaverse' is. You may not even care. Love him or loathe him (we're the latter), Zuckerberg's no fool. Our 'masters' (he's one of them) have planned a whole new future for us all. It's said the destiny of 7 billion people lies in the hands of 13 families (NWO) and the way things are looking, that's entirely plausible....if you COMPLY. Zuckerberg's hunch is that we're going to be living in a dystopian world and unsurprisingly he's hellbent on profiting from it. The Metaverse isn't his creation; there are several 'metaverses', the best known of which is Decentraland.

metaverse player in hood

Basically a metaverse is cyberspace on steroids, a virtual world merging with the real world using a combination of AI, AR & VR technology. Facebook's version, sorry, Meta's version of what a metaverse should look like, & what its possible uses might be, differ from others.
Zuckerberg's vision is an imaginary world where people will yearn to escape to, away from reality; a landscape that promises to make him billions of dollars. Most people don't know anything about this; if I'm boring you & you're hovering over the back button, hold on for a sec & hear me out. Besides, you've probably not read the best bit yet further down the page IE the Fun50Couple-SCREW 🙂 The problem we're up against is 90% of folk are too busy, too disengaged from politics to care, &/or they believe the mainstream media, itself controlled by the 13 families in one way or another. They also (foolishly) trust Government. For example, few people know that Bill Gates (BigTech & BigPharma) funds The Guardian newspaper, the BBC, and even our own MHRA. Conflict of interest anyone? WTF is a billionaire computer geek from America doing funding the UK’s Medicine & Healthcare products Regulatory Agency (MHRA)? Anybody? ASK YOURSELF THAT QUESTION! The dilemma all awake (I didn't say woke) people face is 'Do we try and carry on as normal & hope this blows over?' OR, 'Do we take steps to mitigate against this new kind of Communism?' Zuckerberg's shown his hand. Our [fun50couple] instinct is to fight back & the reason we're supporting rallies and demos. That's not something 90% of people are doing. Perhaps we should copy Zuck. Not to build a metaverse obviously, but to devise ways to make money out of those who find themselves in this 'new place', by default, as a consequence of their collective apathy and acquiescence. Last issue you'll remember we quoted Erotic Trade Only magazine who predicted 22% of all adult entertainment will be virtual within 5 years. We [fun50couple & Tees Valley Mistress] need to buy plots of land in these metaverses, then get builders to construct virtual dungeons & playrooms on those plots.  Tech breeds tech, & the indications are that #StaySafe #WFH clients will soon be donning hoods & gloves, maybe a couple of electrodes too, and getting off from virtual experiences. They'll be able to frot with another cock, experience intercourse, DP, nipple play, corporal punishment, the full gamut of services, without ever leaving home or meeting us in the physical sense. You think I'm talking rubbish? Again, do your own's already HAPPENING. Unfortunately there aren't enough hours in the day for us to do all this ourselves.

Facebook has hired 10,000 extra employees, yep you read that right, to get their version all hooked up. US politicians had this to say in October: 'Time & again Facebook has made conscious business decisions to continue with actions that have harmed its users and the broader society. Facebook cannot be trusted.....' and Axie Infinity's co-founder: 'Facebook's foray into the metaverse is a 'battle for the future of the internet'. The mere concept of Zuckerberg aggressively investing millions of dollars in the metaverse is setting off alarm bells. One early investor in the network branded the company's proposals as 'dystopian'. We agree. All we want to do is stake a claim & be represented, because we're starting to believe its truly the future. Or at least a big part of it.  Do you have a young relation, a nephew, niece, son, daughter, brother sister working in VR AR or graphic art especially NFT's? If so, let them know about us; we need help to make these things happen in a metaverse near you AND we're prepared to offer a very generous share to working partners. If you can help or know some-one who might, get in touch by emailing


November issue of News Views & Screws prompted one guy to get in touch within 24 hours of publication. Meet Gwynn, a 52 year old researcher who lives locally here in the North East. Like Finley (from the last issue), Gwynn had met us once before back in 2018. Paranoid over getting found out by his wife, he'd resisted the temptation to contact us again for another healthy dose of hedonism; but the cuckolding image we'd attached to the graphic account of our meeting with Finley proved too much. Emailing us via secure Proton Mail just hours after November NVS went live Gwynn enquired as to our availability the following day. He asked if we remembered him, and he said he wanted to see us around noon. Checking records Minx found two 'Gwynns', one was flagged up as an 'undesirable' the other had a few notes including the words 'big cock' & that he'd visited us previously at our County Durham home. We asked him to elaborate and the next communication verified what type of car we had and where he had previously come to, so we knew he was the right 'Gwynn'. You see what sometimes happens, is guys tell us they've visited us before when they haven't. Why? Usually to get round points which exclude them, like age, or bad form on the sex worker safety app. They think we'll just send them 'joining details' blindly and fix the whole thing up via texts but guys, we weren't born yesterday! Gwynn told us he'd confirm in the morning by phone. True to his word he made the call, reminding us he was essentially STRAIGHT in case we'd forgotten (we had). He told us he'd thoroughly enjoyed the last tryst and frequently relived the events in his mind. This time round though he 'wanted to take things further' (a common request) specifically asking for a cuckold scenario. History of term cuckoldMinx relayed most of this to Geeze, who drew breath at the mention of the 'c' word; a M/F couple had booked a similar scenario with him for 4PM meaning he'd have to perform BIG-TIME twice within 4 hours. No big deal some of you are probably thinking, but I'd hazard a bet you're unlikely to have experienced the pressure to deliver in the same way as we escorts do. Cuckolding by definition means the BULL has to usurp the cuck, easy enough when it's role play involving Minx & Geeze with a submissive client, less so when it's with a REAL LIFE loved up couple. Geeze thought about it for a moment, and then did what he usually does; pushing the timings to the back of his mind and just GETTING ON WITH IT. Sex-work is a roller coaster existence. Last week we took just £40, so 'needs must'. Geeze knew deep down he could pull it off, what's more he'd likely enjoy it to the MAX.

The rest of the morning flew by. Minx had all the usual 'girly stuff' to do; hair, makeup, nails etc while Geeze got the playroom ready and douched just in case. He always likes to be squeaky clean and to smell nice, and to be fair most of our clients are the same, particularly the repeaters. Neither of us could truly recall the previous meeting with Gwynn. Somewhat mischievously, Minx had failed to mention to Geeze about the 'big cock' note.

Just before the top of the hour, Gwynn phoned for directions . We direct clients to a holding spot about 4 minutes walk from our premises. We ask them to tell us what they see...another safeguard, before we divulge our exact whereabouts. This prevents undesirables making trouble for us and confirms the guy's really there, and not just a loser taking the pesh (as they say in Scotland)
Geeze met him at the door. Standing 6 feet tall and stocky, the minute Gwynn mentioned where he'd come from and what he did for a living Geeze recalled at least some of the previous meeting, but NOT the finer details. Like the impressive tattoos & the huge cock revealed moments later as he stripped off in our reception area. The man was clearly DESPARATE for SEX. He'd already showered and without further ado followed Minx upstairs. Geeze left them together for a period, before making his own way up.

Mature North East bi male escort

"Just look at this..." Minx exclaimed "is that impressive or what, mmmmm?"
Gwynn was stood still, sucking on the nipple of one of her big breasts somewhat awkwardly half in half out of her black satin bra; there'd been no time for niceties, LUST over-ruled etiquette. Man & Woman were to put it crudely 'horny as fuck'.  Cupping the back of his head with one hand she pulled him onto her chest while grasping his impressive manhood with the other. She forced his foreskin back down to his balls, before drawing away slightly to give Geeze an unrestricted view... "WOW, how come I didn't remember THAT?....Let me in"... Now Gwynn was straight, (allegedly) but experienced escorts are naturally intuitive. Geeze dropped to his knees. The black 'burnt oak' floor felt cold. There'd been a frost in the early hours signaling the onset of winter. By contrast the stout veiny dick, all 9 inches of it, felt HOT to Geeze's touch. His long 'piano' fingers barely stretched around its shaft. With no 'push back' from Gwynn, Geeze took the liberty of taking him deep down his throat. Moans and fairly rough mouth fucking followed. Clearly Gwynn was enjoying the sensation of being sucked by another man. Geeze had assumed it would be the other way round, the cuck acting as a fluffer for the 'bull', but those thoughts were put aside as he took Gwynn deeper and deeper down. Gagging can feel delicious and up there with the very best 'GIVING' experiences, reserved for people you love, like or empathize with deeply, the very essence of SEXUAL CHEMISTRY I suppose. Sometimes you just build naturally on what happened the last time you were together. Geeze-on-Gwynn-on-Minx went on for what seemed like an eternity. She began to feel stirrings in her pussy and clitoris at just the right time as Gwynn quickly withdrew from Geeze's mouth, willing himself not to cum. Laying back on a purple velvet throw, she pulled one leg up tight against her chest, her hand exerting firm pressure on the knee to keep the leg bent, exposing her mature cunt in all its glory. Folds of dark silky smooth skin begged to be parted, licked and pleasured. Geeze went down on her. Gradually we were reverting to the form the booking warranted....Gwynn moved to the background, his rod rock hard & balls clearly swollen, the scrotum all knobby and wrinkled like a walnut ready to burst open. Geeze could feel the heat building in his partner as she got more turned on. She in turn felt a need to exert some authority over her man.

Releasing a tiny stream of her squirt, Geeze was taken by surprise. Usually it's sweet and warm, today it was sharp and bitter. Pulling away he got on his knees....

Taking hold of Minx's feet he dragged her bodily down the bed, to a place of safety away from the hard steel frame. Then spreading her legs, her knees pinned between forearm and biceps he pushed his stiff cock onto her love button, rubbing it hard. Moving further forward & releasing her legs he next parted her lips, with his fingers, exposing her big cunt muscle, ruby red and glistening with her juices. Pushing his helmet against it, his cock slid right in, and at once the pair were fucking. Passionately. We know from experience that clients love to see, us loving each other; it comes naturally of course & its a big turn on for a lot of men. Kissing hard, lips grinding then burning, the pace quickened. She wasn't tight; just pleasantly warm and womanly. And 'comfy'. (she's told me off for using that word haha). At the same time he was fucking her Geeze tapped into his brain, processing private thoughts about our unique relationship & the permissions we grant each other, making it all the more erotic. Not least because we knew Gwynn was getting what he wanted, and then some....voyeurism is one thing, active participation is another. A voyeur's point of view (POV)Moving from the shadows to a much brighter & closer POV 'in the stalls' he positioned himself underneath, lying on his back & threading his head between our legs. Licking us every which way he could; ass, vagina, shaft & balls, ESPECIALLY THE BALLS, upped the ante. Guys let me tell you, that is a feeling worth dying for....DIVINE's the word I'm looking for.  Spunking hard, Geeze ejaculated. Half of it shot deep into her heaving pussy. The rest he rained down over her vulva making it easy for Gwynn to clean up if he wanted to, putting less pressure on Minx to 'force it out' into a true cream pie. Swapping places, Gwynn did as he was told, licking Minx with vigour, and with a fair degree of skill. Later on during the warm down he told us he had a fantastic sex life with his wife, and it showed. Occasional meetings like these, were to him, the icing on the cake. The night before, wifey had picked up on him feeling horny, brought about by reading NEWS VIEWS & SCREWS and contacting us in secret. The pair had heavy sex. Drifting off to sleep afterwards, Gwynn wondered whether he'd still want to come and see us the next day. Next morning, the cuckolding fantasy, anticipation & excitement hadn't diminished, fortunately for us. These are the kind of  scenarios that prompt some men to back off & cancel escort appointments at the last minute. We understand that, though recently the number of no shows and non confirmations has been verging on brutal. #SexworkIsRealWork for sure, it's no walk in the park. Highs & Lows, a bit like trading; The taste of Geeze's cum was a 'Higher High' for Gwynn, all that remained now was for him to cum too. Wanking hard with Geeze reaching under and simultaneously stretching his balls, the ostensibly respectable 'researcher' came hard. Heavy splurges of semen shot over Minx's tits, forehead & hair, the milky white fluid contrasting sharply with the purple velvet of the throw, now speckled with his seed.....And that ladies & gentlemen is one way to play out a cuckold scenario. Cuckolding is one of the most searched for terms in porn and/or phone sex. Fact. So remember, if you're a guy who's 'Significant Other' won't countenance such a scenario, then call us and we'll put together a tryst similar to the one described above. Alternatively, if you're a loved up M/F couple & the man's got a tiny cock OR the whole cuckolding scene turns you both on, ask Geeze to join you in a private MFM/MMF. Talk soon!  Merry Christmas every-one, and look out for an EXTRA 'Fun50Couple-SCREW' hitting your inbox on CHRISTMAS DAY! We turn fantasy into reality, and we tell you the way it is….We thank you for your support, Stay tuned, safe sex always, until next time, Luv, fun50couple xxx

* Please note we NEVER divulge people’s identities and we have changed some names and details to preserve complete anonymity.

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