SPRING 2024
'NEWS VIEWS & SCREWS' ESCORT LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE

Fun50Couple-NEWS

Hello sexy friends! So, we're into April, and still suffering grey skies and sub ten degree temperatures here in the North East. While Paris basks in the sun (77F there yesterday). It remains to be seen whether we'll have a repeat of last year, when we only managed 2 days on the beach nakido. Talking of 'clothing optional' it would seem the good people at Everything To Sea (featured in NVS last year) are going from strength to strength (as I predicted they would), fair play to them. There's no doubt naked sailing cruises and nude villas are gaining in popularity. As is bisexuality [caveat]. All things I'm striving to TAKE NOTICE OF as I navigate the tricky waters associated with our GRAND PLAN ie selling Darlington dungeon & investing in markets with the expectation of ending up with two properties OWNED, mortgage free. Unlike the masses, I've never considered I own a property if it's mortgaged. In a nutshell you're six months at best from repossession if you hit hard times no matter how much equity you have in it. Even when its yours you run the risk of seizure. For example, in the US people are losing homes, some worth in excess of six and seven figures $$$ to local authorities, who are taking them in lieu of what we would call 'council tax' arrears here in the UK. You can bid at town halls for these homes, which sell for huge discounts. You may think this is a strange subject for NVS, but seasoned readers will know, we're usually bang on the money when it comes to current affairs and predictions. The GRAND PLAN meant me moving into financial markets and learning how to trade, which is something I've always wanted to do. Why leave it all these years? Well, sometimes in life, there are right moments to do things, following periods in the doldrums. It's probably a mental thing, especially if you're scarred by previous negative experiences. I never intended 'the plan' to turn into another 'job' but with knowledge comes opportunity, and wonga.

For me, its the ideal scenario (apart from escorting & BDSM activities, more on that in a bit), since I'm not answerable to anyone save for myself. Nor am I having to employ anyone. As a perfectionist, & a former worker in some of the world's harshest environments, I've always struggled with 'employees', their 'needs' and perceptions. On Twitter recently I got pulled up by a domme for having an American perspective. 'Perspective & Perception' are interesting subjects in themselves. Check out this amazing video from an ex CIA handler and you'll see why.[https://youtu.be/QVVe2rCHtN0?feature=shared&t=3600] But I digress. I'm an adopted child of unknown origin, except I know I was born in Northampton. I also know (kind of, via an uncomfortable 'discussion' in that it was all ONE WAY) that Mum was a sixteen year old. Having a child back then, at that age, to an unknown father, was the most heinous of crimes, hence the adoption. If not forced adoption, then HEAVILY CO-ERCED. I shudder to think of the pain so many such women/girls endured, and continue to endure in some quarters at the hands of the 'holier than thou's'. Anyway, my first memory of a toy was a small model jet with 'US AIR FORCE' decals on the wing & fuselage. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was a tough little plastic plane based on the F100 Super Sabre, designed to be played with in the hand. Then for some reason at age 6 it was a fixation on American cars and air bases. At age 8 while walking to school in Norwich, a Buick Riviera in slowly moving traffic STOOD OUT; I was enthralled by it. Later in the Seventies, I latched on to drag racing. Already sidelined as a 'misfit' at school, I got further ridiculed and bullied over it (can you IMAGINE????? What sad cunts... and I use that strength of language out of pure hatred) So yeah... call me mad, this IS BatShit Bonkers Britain after all, but I think there's a strong possibility I'm the result of a one night stand with an American serviceman. Northamptonshire at the time was filled with US military. They were stationed at Chelveston, Molesworth, Alconbury & other places. A good many of them lived off base, in the community. My adoptive father HATED every last one of them. I reckon I'm an American trapped in a British body. It may explain too why I fit in so well when I go over the Pond. And what about those bullies? Perhaps they affected me in more ways I knew. From being 'perceived as a hopeless failure' on the sports field therefore by definition a wimp, I went on to fly gliders & become a staff cadet in the Air Cadets, served time as a naval apprentice, had a pilots license by age 20 & a share in a plane, worked several years on oil rigs, and learnt to water ski competitively in slalom AND a couple of years racing. So yeah, trading financial markets, just me alone and a bank of computers, suits me just fine, in terms of getting to where we want to be. It also requires me to learn about all kinds of other stuff, not least geo-political issues. You HAVE to have a handle on it, so you can make your own judgments free of noise & FUD put out by 'influencers' and 'experts'. There's increasing evidence, that the fiat monetary system is on the brink of collapse. For that reason, there's a very real risk that 'authority', unchecked through ignorance & apathy by the masses, will enforce CBDC's & other draconian powers like a 'bail in' perhaps, so they can stay in power. I hope you'll feel you want to watch the CIA guy's video through to the end; it's well worth it. The plan we embarked upon, to raise finance for two properties, one commercial, one domestic may change as a result; it really is a case of 'IF' so and so happens, THEN do such & such, on a day to day basis just now. Currently we're leaning towards moving to a bigger property with land & outbuildings, remote from the mainstream & the snitchers & the job's worth's. It may become desirable, necessary even, to leave this once great country altogether. Even that might become impossible with digital...read 'programmable' currency & passports. Time will tell. You think I'm over reacting & living in cloud cuckoo land? You only have to look at what's happened in Scotland this last month, & Dubai this week! Oh, you haven't heard? I rest my case.

From the above, you'll twig that there aren't enough hours in the day right now, for me anyway. Escorting pays the bills, and more importantly keeps us satisfied in the sex department. Just. Business has slowed markedly since the Santa rally we enjoyed in December. It was a near record month. The trouble with all time highs, is they're often followed by a dip. Sometimes majorly so. Escort bookings I've told you before are strongly correlated to 'feelgoodfactor*' on the street. And right now, I can tell you, it's ROCK BOTTOM. We've got an election coming, but WTF's the point? Its a uni-party or in other words TWO CHEEKS OF THE SAME ASS. Reform I reckon will do the same as UKIP. Amass a few million votes and get no seats. So essentially splitting the
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*Aside: Some of you'll know I've highlighted this #feelgoodfactor thing before. Interestingly, I've recently learned that it's a form of manipulation instigated by the 'elites' in 4 stages with its origins in the murky world of freemasonry. The 'feelgoodfactor' I pick up on, is phase 3 of their cycle known as 'misdirection'. Misdirection is when everyone's conditioned to thoughts of GOOD TIMES COMING... causing them to relax. Then after a period of relaxation, they HIT US with something out of the blue. That phase is called 'Redirection'. I don't want to wreck your reading experience with more doom & gloom, suffice to say, prepare for something big around July/August at the time of the Olympics. The other 2 phases btw are 'energy harvesting' and 'anti-climax' EXAMPLE: recent brinkmanship by Iran, Israel, the US/UK
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vote, in Labour's favour I would imagine. I have no doubt millions will share that view #politicallyhomeless. I'm intending to spoil my ballot paper, reason being a spoiled paper is one they're forced to count. Staying at home refusing to vote ISN'T the answer 🙁  IT's why we're in the position we're in, with dubious MP's of low calibre, 'winning' seats on 30% or less of the poll due to voter apathy & low turnout. Sickening. I also think from my years of marketing at street level, as well as what I glean from economic calendars & tables, that the average Brit is far worse off due to the current #costofliving crisis, than what's being acknowledged publicly. No surprise really when Sunak's dishing out peerages to people like the head of the BBC aka Biased Broadcasting Association. People who can help keep him in Number 10. #ToryCorruption.  Michelle Mone swans around the world on a superyacht sticking two fingers up to a court ordering her to return millions of £££s in ill gotten gains connected to alleged Convid PPE contracts, and there's no enforcement action. At the same time, the press whip up a frenzy over a few thousand £££ in supposed discrepancies relating to the sale of Angela Rayner's former council house. A bloody council house FFS! It's what I referred to before, BatShit BonkersBritain. No wonder people are angry & confused; in a quandary about so many things...Palestine, Gender, Misinformation, Jabs, CBDC's, Black vs White, Muslim vs Christian the list goes on. It's the oldest trick in the book DIVIDE AND RULE. Obvious to some of us, irrelevant or seemingly so to 'the many'. UNTIL. It's too late.

So let's get back to sex. A good many of our MMF bookings are from 'bucket listers' who want to see what a threesome's really like. Or, they want to 'see another man's cock' at close quarters. Either as a cuckold, or potentially bi person. Those meetings tend to be one off's in the main, and whimsical in nature. Kink bookings on the other hand are different. Kinksters are often lifetime players, and potentially repeat clients. They are the people keeping us busy these days. Its another reason I haven't churned out so many NVS's lately... truth is some months we do hardly any couple meets, they're all solo with one or the other of us. Some readers have requested I write about some of these 121 meets. Perhaps next time I will!

Meanwhile we continue to invest in more equipment. Men travel far for a premium experience. So many dom(mes) you see using home made props in shabby premises. That's not our style, and it's one reason we're still reasonably successful. Promotion is an ongoing priority too, for example Geeze launched a new website of his own last month to mirror teesvalleymistress.co.uk. Its URL is https://northernmaster.co.uk. Take a look. I still have maturemaleescort.uk too. The latter is aimed chiefly at men looking for a bi BFE &/or M/F Couples looking for bi exploration within a threesome, MMF or MFM. Another reason we're plugging our own sites more aggressively is increasing hassle & hostility from AdultWork. We've never (in common with many others) liked them very much, nevertheless the site DOES bring in decent business. Despite protestations to the contrary aka 'window dressing', they seem to hold the average service provider, particularly escorts (as opposed to cammers), in contempt. During covid they made life difficult. Just before that they'd introduced all sorts of restrictions on content, partly I know due to MasterCard affiliation. But a lot of the stuff is unreasonable and they continue to tighten the screw. We've been warned recently about termination, due to us sharing details of our own website URL's via WHAT PUNTERS BELIEVE ARE PRIVATE MESSAGES. They've also doubled and TRIPLED rates to us for advertising. Algorithms appear to favour SEARCH results for those paying to show as 'AVAILABLE TODAY'. Long story short, it's now costing us very nearly £400 a month to promote two profiles on there, ie Tees Valley Mistress and fun50couple. Tees Valley Master no longer pays, leaving the site on there for access by members only, hence the new professional website which has already brought in business, despite only going live a fortnight ago!

Wrapping up NEWS, we're really feeling the need once more for larger premises, as we cram more and more into our collection at home. Half of what we had in Darlington is in long term storage but we're going to have to wait for 2025 to decide on next steps. Right now, we have further SeriousKit items scheduled to be ordered...IF THE GUY THERE CAN BE BOTHERED TO ANSWER OUR EMAILS! To date they've been ignored. Another firm called Enfettered have copied the SeriousKit range, & jazzed it up with blingy fittings. We really don't want to use them because we hate companies who thrive by ripping other's ideas off. Same firm also seems to have done something similar with a lot of Fetter's former range; Fetters seems to have hit hard times; and/or they've given up on furniture. Their restraint items are now being sold through London store 'Regulation'. Even the name Enfettered rhymes with the original pioneers. I don't know all the details about Fetters but have read about some of the shenanigans, including heat from Warwick Council 'jobs worth's' that negatively affected them. Shame.

SeriousKit on the wish-list is a body harness with perineal and anal electrodes, & a rubber masturbation bag with e-stim sheath inside. Basically, you get the cock hard with a traditional hand pump, swap it for the bag then masturbate/edge the subject through the slinky lubed rubber, aided by electrostimulation from three different points. With extensive experience of the joys of electrosex, I can't wait to get hold of it. Also, we're looking to invest in a face sitting box and fucking machine. While searching for Fetters we dropped on THIS GERMAN COMPANY. We're minded to go with them. Germans have an eye for quality and detail. What we'd really like is the power assisted face sitting table, however, space currently is a problem, so we may just go with the smaller unit for now. Mind, that's ten times better that the average unit on sale here in Blighty which usually consists of a toilet seat bolted to a wooden box covered in cheap fablon. Errr, no thanks! Stay tuned for updates on delivery and/or how to book an appointment. The SeriousKit milker has been a success, with more and more men coming to try it. To be fair, it's taken us a little while to get the best out of it... mainly through issues surrounding the tension on the bungee, now resolved. #onwardandupward. So guys, on to VIEWS.

Fun50Couple-VIEWS

Do you watch Dragon's Den? We do, occasionally. As business people it's of interest. So many times it's some trendy 'do good' idea which gets investment, while other seemingly useful ventures get short shrift. In a nutshell, they're money grabbers... if they can see shedloads of cash for THEMSELVES they're all over it, if not it's 'I won't be investing, I'm out'. I like Peter Jones, also the Geordie from just up the road Sara Davies. Both of them are eloquent, humble and I'd say fairly genuine. Meaden I have little time for (a holier than thou), Suleyman I find comical & a bit of a dinosaur though I like the way he calls a spade a spade (Can we even say that these days????) and Bartlett though interesting, comes across as SLIPPERY. He, definitely ISN'T 'what you see is what you get' ; he's a carefully prepped FACADE, politically correct with that really annoying Millennial trait of being excessively polite. He's built massive success around that demographic (& GenZ), hence his 5 million + subscribers on social media, so yes, undeniably successful. Ask me what else he does 'as a job' and I haven't a clue. But that's the very essence of being an 'influencer' isn't it 🙁 🙁 Coincidentally he's the interviewer on the CIA spy You Tube I referred to earlier.

Anyway, in a recent show, a young couple got featured, Wesley Pierce and his fiancée Lottie. They pitched a libido enhancing drink, READ MORE about it here (Mail Online tearing them to shreds). The potion SPARKED OUR INTEREST, but not so the Dragons. But I think they missed a trick. The Dragons waffled. Bartlett came out with this:

'I would actually really love to invest in this category because everything you've said to me today, I already know to be true,'

And....

'A couple of my friends are experts in this space as well and libido issues are tearing great relationships a part, so it's a huge issue, huge demand and it's a space that unfortunately is becoming in greater demand every year...'

But would Steven put his money where his mouth was? Predictably NO.

He said he had questions over how they can 'substantiate the claims you're making, super important.' (of course he HAD to add that annoyingly overused adjective 'SUPER' didn't he #MillennialSpeak 🤮 🤮🤮)

'So get that right and you honestly have a great business. But this isn't a product I'm going to be investing in today so I'm going to say I'm out,' Steven concluded.

Other dragons knocked Wesley for not being medically qualified, and not doing research. Unsurprisingly, the dragons had never heard of 'maca' root, a herbal remedy well known for boosting libido over thousands of years.  Sex, yes SEX ladies and gentlemen, even in 2024 is STILL RISQUE, verging on 'OFF LIMITS'. Clearly it's a potential reputational issue for people like squeaky clean Bartlett. Nauseating. To his credit, Wesley had subbed out the manufacture of 'Wiggy' to specialist supplement laboratories/manufacturers, admitting he wasn't qualified. What he knew first and foremost is there's a market for it, AND he himself had felt SOME benefit from using it. One would have thought the Dragons with their extended networks and their millions would have shown more interest.  The bottom line I'd say, is they're not really sexual people... #greed is their driver, carefully managed & concealed by a veneer of philanthropy.

I myself, imported 2 kilos of raw maca root a few years ago from Peru. It was my intention to do something like Wesley, but unfortunately, shamefully, I did NOTHING. A couple of close associates knocked the concept and rather than go with it, I backed away. Several people were selling the stuff on eBay at the time, and they got trouble from Trading Standards, and rightly so imo. BUT, and here's the thing, one or two manufacturers prevailed. Long time NVS readers will remember me highlighting ZUYOSA herbal supplement for libido boost. The product's always been really hard (ha!) to get hold of. It's no longer available through our wholesaler, nevertheless it continues to be sold elsewhere. One retailer has amassed a good number of reviews for Zuyosa. Reading though them is really interesting. Some men have found it apparently useless. Other's its had the desired effect, and then some. That is what I experienced from Zuyosa, a lovely taut but kind of subtle feeling, PUMPED I'd call it, which lasted a whole weekend. It didn't give the rush or the hardon within the hour you get from Sildenafil or Viagra. But what it did give, undeniably, was a BOOST. It was a feeling I wouldn't mind paying for if I was in any doubt as to my ability to PERFORM. With me, currently that's not the case obviously; if anything libido has increased, especially since I took up cross country running.
I'm just highlighting these kinds of products, GOLD MAX is another. MILLIONS of people are STRESSED from one thing after another coming down the road. It's relentless: #Broken Britain. Around half of all Zuyosa reviews are positive; Dragons could easily have catapulted Wiggy into the mainstream, for not much cost in my opinion but it was not to be. Fair play to Wesley & Lottie for being undeterred though. Their website is milking the Den episode for all its worth.  Be in no doubt that herbal sexual performance enhancers have a future. All that's needed is the right packaging and marketing, but it seems Britain STILL struggles with anything to do with SEX in the public domain. Web3 will likely change that, and for the better. 'Web what' I hear you ask?

Web3 is the the next generation of the internet, and its currently under construction. Basically its a decentralised web. So there will be no need or place for middlemen monopolies like Google, Apple or payment providers like CCBill. It will be peer to peer essentially, with privacy and security enabled via blockchain protocols. It's happening faster than you think. Only a tiny fraction of the population are AU FAIT with these developments, or even remotely interested for that matter. Nevertheless IT'S COMING down the road, FAST. You don't like crypto? Well get used to it, because digital transactions via blockchain are here to stay. More importantly GET ON BOARD. One reason for featuring this, is  that I've been worried for years over the future of payments for sexual services. How might they be impacted by CBDC's which we're not going to be able to stop. Best case scenario is we have parallel systems, IE state run digital tokens think BRITCOIN (UGHHHHHHHH) running alongside chains outside the public sector. Chains which can't be stopped by governments or borders. Last week I came across this... It's a new debit card, promoted by 1INCH. You'll likely never have heard of 1INCH, but trust me, they're GOOD GUYS. They're basically a decentralized crypto exchange (DEX) and an 'aggregator' which searches deals across multiple liquidity sources, offering users better rates than any individual exchange. Crucially, the new card is going to be made available to UK consumers, a country at the forefront of cryptographic regulation. It's approval will allow you to pay for goods & services either in fiat (£'s sterling to you) OR crypto, crypto which you hold in a private wallet.

In other words you'll have self custody of funds, NOT YOUR BANK, and those funds will be instantly interchangeable, USDT/GBP for example

Imagine, going to any retailer in the UK who accepts MasterCard, and being able to pay for goods with crypto OR £££s with no bank directly involved. What I'm highlighting here is the evolution of DeFi (decentralised finance) For years people like us have been at the mercy of payment providers screwing us over when we seek to offer what they deem as 'high risk' items for sale online; services like phone sex, XXX videos, sex toys and the like. DeFI will sweep all that BS away. We'll no longer be forced to jump through endless hoops just to be able to sell sextoys for example. Nor will we have to grovel to banks to take us on. The future is near, and it's not all bleak. #DYOR: #DeFi #DePin #RWA

Fun50Couple-SCREWS

PHEW!!!!! Time to relax. But before that, get tissues & get comfy, because this ones sextra HOT. Let's meet Arthur. Arthur's a 58 year old expat, marketing director and forex trader. It was clear from the outset we had a lot in common... but when he said Hong Kong I couldn't help thinking about that old acronym from the nineties.  Hong Kong expats were commonly referred to as 'filth'. FILTH stood for 'failed in London try Hong Kong'. Cruel I know, but I was associating with wealthy people in the capital at the time, & it kinda stuck. There was some truth in it; the City had boomed for some but not for others. Hong Kong was preparing for transfer of sovereignty to the Peoples Republic of China; juicy opportunities for 'get rich quick' types abounded . Back then I'd travelled the world, but wasn't up to speed on politics or markets... simpler times. Nor was it a place I ever fancied going. I'd worked in most Far Eastern countries and to be frank the region's never really floated my boat. The Philippines (heavily Americanised) I liked but that was about it. I also worked with Chinese nationals for around 5 months, time enough to discover they were some of the most harsh, cruel, obstinate folk on the planet. It's another memory etched deep, & it sticks with me to this day. We've an oriental takeaway a couple of hundred yards away here in County Durham...IT's run by a Chinese woman who closely matches those characteristics, needless to say, she doesn't get our business. You go in there & SHE'S IN CHARGE & God help you if you don't know the ingredients of any one of around 300 items on the menu. All that's missing is the party worker's military style tunic, oh yeah... the hygiene certificate too. She narrowly avoided being shut down by the council for unsavoury premises. It's unfair to generalise I know, and there are undoubtedly exceptions. I've met some of them too, usually ones who saw the light and managed to flee West & escape tyranny. I suppose that's another reason I'm awake to 'what could happen here' having experience of Communist and/or rogue regimes first hand. Some people say 'the world's the best University' and they're not far wrong imao.

On the plus side, Arthur was tall, quite good looking, and athletic. He hailed from Kent, and identified as a fully bi top, not a bottom. In other words he was a rare specie. He's had his fair share of misfortune too, widowed from a wife taken way too early by cancer. Remarried, he enjoyed a fairly active sex life apparently. But as is the case with millions of men, it fell short of his TRUE DESIRE. Arthur had a secret life. Interestingly, 'secret lives' and 'private lives' are subjects taught by the CIA to handlers. If you've time to view the video I mentioned in NEWS from start to finish, when he's discussing these different lives, you'll probably recognise YOURSELF. The information spurred me to adjust some of our marketing; it's right on the money.

People with a dark side often feel they want, a need even, to disclose secrets to a trusted 'other'. That 'trusted other' is rarely the same person they share a private life with IE the wife/girlfriend/significant other. If the need isn't addressed, life can become unpleasant, difficult, agony even. It's the 'Achilles heel' that intelligence handlers exploit, and OURSELVES to a degree! We've made a good living from men's 'kinky secrets' for over a decade and continue to do so. What's becoming really fascinating, is 'stuff' we've picked up on over the years we're discovering only NOW, has deep foundation in psychology. No longer is it just casual observation or 'wonder'... it's experience backed up by knowledge gained from self education. A BUZZ.

Arthur's wish list included 'queening' which he deemed 'a must', giving Minx oral to the point of female ejaculation. He also expressed a hope 'that Geeze had a big load of cum for HIS FACE' as he put it. Ha! No pressure. To be fair, it isn't; if it was we wouldn't put 'heavy cummer' on the profile. Even after all these years Geeze spurts, IMPRESSIVELY, & not just a weak thread either! 'Rope' is the term they use on social media.

After chatting for a wee while in the reception area, we headed upstairs. Minx in a green cotton robe style dress & 'nude' stockings, led the way. Every second step of the stairs caused the dress to part at one side, affording both men glorious views, albeit fleeting, of her suspender strap, thigh & big booty. You like curvy women? Good. The landing leads to Mistresses' boudoir, the office, and the playroom. Instructing Arthur to take off his clothes and to leave them on an ottoman, Minx paused for a moment, pecked his cheek, then joined Geeze. Already stripped down to a purple thong, he lay sprawled on the bondage bed, eagerly awaiting the action. 'Get up!' commanded Minx, thrusting forward, the green robe now loose about her chest. It struggled to contain lily white jugs measuring in at around 34H. Rising from the purple throw, Geeze did as he was told, groped one of her tits, kissed the nipple then her lips. She wore 'misty grey matt' lippie by Maybelline, which was a bit of a misnomer, because they appeared more purple than grey; perhaps it's one of those Fifty Shades, I don't know. I DO KNOW it suits her. It makes her look a little mysterious, and INTERESTING. That was something I picked up on within minutes of meeting her for the first time 17 years ago this week.

Arthur meanwhile had done a disappearing act... he'd gone to the bathroom, and was there for what seemed like an eternity, checking all his 'little places' no doubt. You'd be surprised at the numbers of men who see us and make no effort at all, or as Minx says 'don't know how to wash'. We both groom for at least an hour or ninety minutes even, before each and every meeting, but that's just us! #AttentionToDetail. When he at last appeared, he was naked; hairy, tanned with what appeared to be a tiny cock 🙁  No surprise there! We go months sometimes and see nothing bigger than 5 inches hard, so don't let all those big boys on social media fool you. Reality is very different. Minx in common with many women, doesn't actually like monster cocks anyway, eight inches nine at a push and that's her limit. Geeze on the other hand has no such qualms... the bigger the better.

The playroom lights were full on, so we all got a good look at one another. Minx prefers to be out of the spotlight, but Geeze loves the bright lights so he can see EVERY MINUTE detail!  Ain't that typical! Proffering to his partners wishes, he switched off the downlighters, leaving just the floor lights on. Today they shone red, illuminating our bodies in a more subtle, sexy fashion, bodies that were hungry for one another. Three-way kissing ensued, then necking, deep snogging and further exploration. Within minutes Arthur had grown to something approaching 'respectable'. Respectable enough for Geeze to want to go down on him. Minx followed, clasping both cocks together, aligning them for her purple lips and hot mouth. There was no precum, just solid veiny meat for her to feast on. Both men gasped simultaneously as she swirled her tongue around their bell ends, over, under, then wet licking of the shaft, before doubling back to suck... would she go all the way down, then up and down, repeatedly? Every man's dream but alas, she teased, as is her wont. Sometimes she'll blow your frikin mind while blowing your cock too, but today it was teeeeeease mode only. Besides she had a hunch that Arthur was something of an expert when it came to oral; would he deliver the orgasm she craved simply by licking the right spot? Time would tell. 'So Arthur... are you going to PLEASURE mistress? Are you going to taste my juices? Cupping the back of his head with one hand, she forced him down between her thighs, legs open, knees bent, observing from the big wall mirror his bubble butt with balls hanging down. Pretty soon that ball sac and what was now showing itself to be an impressive 'appendage' were swaying rhythmically, in circular fashion, corresponding to the motion of his head and tongue, as it lapped at her hot pussy. 'Yeah right there!' she whispered over and over, as he focused his attention on & around her spot... no mean feat either since she has a concealed clitoris 'Get a towel Geeze. NOOOOOW!!!' Geeze sprung to attention, quickly thrusting a PVC cover then a purple bath sheet under her thighs and bottom. But wait! There's more. She remembered the 'queening' just in time. A few drops of squirt had burst forth, but she wanted to drench him. And she wanted to do it right, so he could catch it. In his mouth. Every last drop. Pushing him away, she rose to her knees, then stood up, balancing herself by clutching the chains of the bondage bed. They looked slightly menacing, but She reigned supreme. 'Lay there!' she ordered the expat... 'Filth? You ain't seen nothing yet...' Alternating between laying her big booty down and/or merely brushing his face with her cunt and ass, she tormented him. Desperately he reached with his tongue for her most intimate parts, as his cock stood to attention. It was a good seven inches now and glistening with a hint of seminal fluid. 'Ahhhhh yeah' she exclaimed, then 'pheeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwey',  signaling relief and release in equal measure as her own fluids gushed forth. Was it piss or squirt or a mixture of both? The juries still out as to whether the two are actually one and the same thing...a topic of endless discussion between more 'enlightened' men when it comes to sex with women. As a point of note, we're getting ever more inquiries for face sitting. So guys, we're investing in new pieces from the best of the best. There aren't many outfits in the UK capable of delivering quality & durability; you have to go to Germany or the US where they do things properly. Expect to see a face sitting chair/table coming soon to fun50couple, sourced from Style-Fetish Industries. Stay tuned for updates.

All the time she was queening him, Arthur stayed hard. It was an open invitation for Geeze to handle him, to tease him too and to edge him. Over time Geeze has learnt the art of deep throating. Years ago, it amazed him when a sub we've seen many times in Washington County Durham, took cock down his throat for a quarter of an hour at a time, seven inches of it right down to the balls. Disciplining himself by breathing through his nose, as well as prepping his airways beforehand I kid you not, he'd eventually come up for air, his mouth drooling, Geeze's cock lubed so much and so sensitive it almost hurt, but feeling delicious at the same time. If you've been there you'll know. Long story short is Geeze wanted to be able to do the same for those special men we come across from time to time. The men you wanna ravage and devour, who respond in a positive fashion. And so it was with Arthur. Minx moved aside. Geeze worked on him for several minutes, then lay on top of Arthur, the two men's cocks rubbing together, wanking hands free, frotting basically... 'You love that don't ya....' whispered Geeze. 'Yeah I do.....' then 'I love fucking men...' that's REALLY what he said. No ifs. Butts though! Quite rare too because most bicurious/bisexual men seek bottoms. Geeze is versatile. 'mmmmmmmmmmmm' went Geeze. Swiveling around, he felt compelled to offer him his ass to rim, safe in the knowledge that Arthur was full-on bisexual, no holes barred & passionate with it. It didn't take long for the 'outwardly respectable' marketing exec to hit the target. Bulls Eye. His tongue pushed deep, without hesitation as he pleasured Geeze anally, causing him in turn to want to push himself further onto it. It was verging on ecstasy! No need for drugs, the tongue's more than capable of delivering. Breaking free suddenly, since there was a real risk of cumming prematurely, Geeze reached for a condom, easily tearing it open, the sachet already partly slit beforehand (#attentiontodetail again guys! nothing worse than fighting those wrappers with lubed up fingers, killing the moment!) Rolling it down over Arthur's twitching penis, he got the job done, then lay beside him, vacating the space Minx had just left, as she went to the bathroom... 'I'll leave you two to it for a mo...' she suggested, as she strode across the playroom. In between kissing, & in a hushed tone each of them revealed their longings; Geeze wanted to feel that cock inside him. Arthur needed to fuck, and fuck hard. Falling back with legs open, hands supporting a muscley bottom, Geeze's nipples tingled at the prospect of being penetrated. 'Yeah go.. GO.... I can take it easily don't worry....' meaning though his hole was tight, he was nonetheless experienced in taking cock/dildos/strapons. Within minutes Arthur was in balls deep...'You can do it HARD, go on FUCK ME, BUM me oh yeeeeeeah.....' If you're reading this and put off because you consider yourself 99% straight, then don't judge. You never know. Ha! I can picture some of you now, rebuffing that notion. But it IS THE CASE. Nobody's reckoned to be 100% straight or gay. Fact is, sometimes you can be caught by surprise, when you're totally off your guard, and THINGS HAPPEN. If you experience that one day, don't be guilty, don't try and explain it away, & don't jump to premature conclusions. Just own it. Right?

Its not often Geeze get's what he wants. So many trysts end with the client cumming, and Geeze holding off.... by which time it's too late; once 95% of men orgasm that's it, they're done. Worse, some of 'em wanna up and leave, like straightaway! A tiny few will stay and want to go a second round; those kind of men have learnt to go with the flow, talk for a while, and wait for the horn to return. Twenty minutes or so and they're good to go, Geeze included. That's the best thing about our Bed & Breakfast deal; everyone gets to come at least once, sometimes twice or thrice over three sessions.

Arthur was banging Geeze's spot... his prostate, causing him to want to feel like cumming. But he knew it was a feeling he could endure and sustain, without spilling his milk.

'Ahhhhhhh, that feels glorious.... don't want it to end.....''you want my cum??? 'Where do you want it....oh yeah your face. 'Change places!'

Encouraging Arthur to swap, Geeze motioned him to get onto his back. To control him further he made sure to restrain his wrists & ankles with cuffs, blindfolded him then teased his nipples with a pinwheel before mounting him. Arthur's cock was still hard, impressively so, and enough for Geeze to ride him deep. He felt his sacred spot respond once more. Literally riding him back and forth over the same point, arching his body then relaxing it rhythmically, got him going. He knew it would make him cum if he gave it time. But it was not to be. Temptation overrode discipline. Wanking with his hand now, it became a blur of motion; frenzied lustful bisexual sex; grinding down onto the root of Arthur's rod one last time prompted climax and an explosion of passion. Thick white sperm burst from Geeze's cock, some so powerful it shot through the mesh of the bondage bed onto the wood paneling behind. Most of it rained down on our bodies & the purple throw. Minx had not missed out on the action; She'd returned moments before the money shot. She loves to watch. Hot sex positive men turn her on. Reaching across Arthur to unshackle him, she ordered him to clean up Geeze's mess. He obeyed willingly, tasting to the full the seed from his fingers.

Geeze's hard-on slowly diminished, until his cock was little more than three inches in length, its extremity defined by heavy sheaths of foreskin bound together by the residue of his cum. But this was a wild meet, one to savour and ENJOY. Instinctively, Geeze recognised the need to keep the fire burning as did his partner Minx. Cumming on his face had been top of the expat's wish-list, but extended cunnilingus ranked high on his list of likes too. Going down on Minx again, he challenged her to 'cum once more, for Scotland'... to fill his mouth with her glorious squirt. He, in turn wanted to GIVE HER the release she craved aka the mother of all orgasms.

Arthur was on all fours. With his pert ass angled upward, Geeze could see his big balls, hanging low within what could fairly be described as a generous scrotum. It almost looked as if it had been stretched. His cock had regained its stiffness. Pointing down with its foreskin forced back by the blood pumping thru his glans, it begged attention from Geeze. Reaching underneath, the forefinger of his right hand found Arthur's breast, then his nipple; the other hand worked on his cock. A light touch was what was called for.  Merely brushing his tit, while stretching the foreskin way back down his shaft brought Arthur closer to glory. Geeze could tell; it wasn't JUST intuition, it was plain to see, and hear. Art's breathing intensified as his balls tightened. They were now firm and leathery. Even more intense, were the contractions of his bottom. Rhythmic spasms almost, it was as if he too was riding an imaginary cock. Geeze decided to up the SENSATION. Reaching for Emma, (Svakom Emma...Minx's favourite wand) he turned on the heat, then the vibe, slow pulsation to begin with. While teasing Arthur's frenulum with it, he reached again, single handedly for the big Doxy. If there's anything better than one high pitched wand, its two! Doxy is mains powered, and not for the faint of heart. Its vibration is more akin to a BUZZ. Excessive use gives you a feeling like miner's 'white finger' but on your cock. To call it INTENSE is an understatement. Sandwiching the already throbbing penis between the two wands, as HE still ate Minx's pussy, took Arthur into the realms of sexual heaven. Moaning so loudly I worried for a split second the neighbours would hear, Arthur finally let go. Disengaging from Minx's cunt left HER free to climax too. She can't do that when anyone or 'thing' is inside her. The earth moved as a deep clitoral orgasm shook her body. Arthur was pumping his seed here there and everywhere; puddles of it formed in her belly, as she rocked back and forth.... But it wasn't over and Geeze got taken by surprise..

'somebody FUCK ME I need an internal orgasm' she gibbered....

Geeze WANTED to pleasure her and to show his love for her in front of Arthur the filthy expat. Rubbing his bare dick against her vulva turned him on some more. Especially when massaging it in Arthur's cum. It was like lube, even though none was needed she was that wet. Fully hard again, Geeze pushed in to his partner as Art looked on. Putting an arm round the marketing exec's neck, Geeze kissed him while penetrating his lover... 'That was SO-OOOOOO sexy wasn't it.....' Nodding, Art allowed his hand to be placed on Minx's mound as Geeze continued to ream her....'Oh WOW' shouted Minx...'that's it' then 'OOHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH'. You get my drift. She came hard, then wanted more. And more again. She gets like that sometimes. but then I suppose most women do, given the chance. Problem is, a significant number of them don't get that chance. At least not with their supposed 'nearest & dearest'. Nor do the men. Why? Because they don't communicate or because they feel they can't communicate. Interest wanes, and thoughts wander. A 'secret life' is born. Is that where YOU ARE RIGHT NOW? email us at kinky@fun50couple.com.

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