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Image of Loquid gold popper from fun-five-o.comWill Sex Positives ever rule the World?

Sex what? For those not in the know ‘sex positivity’ can be defined as ‘having an attitude towards human sexuality that regards all sexual activities pleasurable & fundamentally healthy provided its consensual and nobody gets hurt’.  To be honest I wasn’t aware myself that I was ‘sex positive’ in the sense that I wore a label, however, it’s an attitude to sex & relationships I’ve informally subscribed to for nearly 5 decades. I’ve shared my thoughts with hundreds of folk over the years; it’s a belief I’ve always been comfortable with and one that feels natural. Most people I’ve confided with have had little to say about the matter; they’ve kept their thoughts to themselves as I am a passionate kind of person as are most sex positives….an all or nothing type, and in my ignorance, have always assumed it was an ideology embraced by the many rather than the few; but then I’ve always been the black sheep from a disjointed family and never followed the fold.

And I’m proud of that.

A multitude of things have converged recently to throw all this sharply into focus and to spur me to hit the keyboard. Yes I know its been over a month since I posted a blog. The Blogging Mentors I take some notice of say I should be posting 3-5 times a week if I’m to build any kind of ‘tribe’ as they call it of ‘raving fans’ …well sorry guys, I have a living to make and I won’t blog unless I feel moved enough to produce something worthwhile.

And moved I am.

I am no different to hundreds of thousands, millions probably, of my contemporaries in Britain today. On the one hand are the early retired professionals and civil servants on generous pensions for life & literally awash with cash, and on the other side are the blue collar people, the triers, the small time entrepreneurs, and the mass ranks of the ever hopeful and perennially self-employed AKA busy fools in many cases (I don’t mean that in a bad way….so many work hard and all hours God sends but the point is they never achieve or come even close to a good quality of life and financial independence). Many in this latter group have had their lives turned upside down by events they have no control over…the banking crisis, mass immigration, excess regulation and globalisation, but they fight on, in the hope of a better life before death,  by learning new skills, embracing modern technologies, and finding new ways to capitalise on what they DO know about, on things they’ve learnt over a lifetime. If you’ve never read the story of Colonel Sanders I urge you to do so, then you’ll ‘get it’. Take a look

I know about sex.

It’s something I’ve always been drawn to and lived for. Its led to good times even in the bad times. I also know about flying planes, repairing roofs and cleaning offices. I sold sextoys in the millennium years and have just started again   This has meant I’ve had to embrace computers and the internet, never something I relished, until these past few years. The idea of building a website myself from scratch was not even contemplated, yet these things I now find easy. It’s a case of continual daily improvement, and taking action…yes…I know you will have suffered all that boring stuff before, but.....

What is very striking to us Boomers and GenXers is the speed of change.

We are going through another industrial revolution, but this time its happening in a few short years, not decades or over generations. The web is fast evolving to become a social platform overtaking the original concept of a purely informational model envisaged at its outset. I’ve attended conferences and been told in no uncertain terms that

‘If you’re in business and can’t get a handle on social media, then get out of business’.

Things are a’changin and changing VERY FAST! The Arab Spring was an early example of the power of social media, and our own recent Brexit is another where the ‘establishment’ has been taken by surprise and been caught with its pants down. We like pants down.  And with regard to Brexit, only now is it sinking in with the powers that be in Ivory Towers, that Out is supposed to mean Out (sorry and all that 🙁 🙁 ) and they’d better start doing something about it. Yet still, these people insist on talking in years.

Life’s no longer like that.

We embrace new technologies to do things which used to take years and do them in a fraction of the time. The point I’m making is that many people haven’t woken to the fact that the INTERNET HAS and IS changing EVERYTHING, be it your corner TakeAway  (in the shape of to banking, to recruitment, retail, right the way thru to the top and the Corridors of Power AKA Westminster.

EVERYTHING is changing.  Including cultural attitudes.

This weekend we have seen a well-known politician brought down by a National tabloid Newspaper. As of Monday he was hanging on and supported by some who, rightly enough, protested that their colleague had done nothing illegal certainly with regard to meeting two gay male escorts for ‘fun’ while taking ‘poppers’; an affront to many people for sure but nevertheless not exactly an uncommon scenario these days.

🙂 🙂  Yes you read that right.  🙂 🙂

People are jumping up and down talking about ‘filth’ blah blah but any-one who’s streetwise, & actually knows about humanity, sex and sexwork, knows that looking out your bedroom window at your neighbours, or working in a school, at a hospital or on an assembly line, or even in the Forces….anywhere you care to mention, a percentage of folk are into something a bit different.

A wee bit kinky maybe. Something most 'ordinary' people wouldn't think of as 'normal'

And they’re never the kind of people you’d suspect of course, whatever that’s supposed to mean. Some are saying that what people do in their private life is up to them and matters little. Others more vociferously (as usual) are jumping up and down taking the moral high ground and saying that what matters is the sexual exploitation of the ‘rent boys’ as they call them.

You see their kind always portray our kind as just that….morally corrupt, vulnerable people who need to be ‘protected’. Who TF are they to judge? I’ve had long term relationships with escorts, I rub shoulders with escorts, I have done for years, and have yet to meet one who’s been forced to do the job.  Granted, some will have, but that's NOT the rule. YES, I’m so sorry…I actually ENJOY my job as do many of my com-padres; oh and while we’re about it, don’t lets forget  the millions of swingers around the world who would also be put in the same morally corrupt category by these dinosaurs and so called ‘pillars of society’.

Sex positivity is the subject of this post. The internet and the cultural revolution taking place, and the kind of Sixties Permissive Society ‘Mark 2’ it is feeding alongside the industrial one, is changing things for EVER….it’s called progress, and its happening NOW, and its happening whether ‘Establishment’ likes it or not. More people are feeling freer to express their true identities, to come out, to be more sexually free. Including some of those folk walking the corridors of power, who are after all human just like the rest of us.

Will Sex Positives ever rule the world?

Maybe not but they’ll be a lot more mainstream in my humble opinion at least, for what it’s worth.

The party’s already started.

Until next time, stay horny, safe sex always, take care, Luv fun50couple xxx


fun50geeze in antique frameTuesday 26th July 2016

Hello Sexy Friends & Followers!

‘To Pee or not to Pee that is the Question’, a take on Shakespeare’s Hamlet Act lll Scene 1 I know but couldn’t resist!  Some of you who follow our blogs know that we’ve been close to the adult business for around 20 years, with an interest preceding that even, and it has been fascinating to watch practises considered ‘taboo’ by many, gradually coming out into the open. Not too long ago, anal sex was considered ‘unconventional’ and kept firmly behind closed doors despite being practised and enjoyed by many since the beginning of time! We still see many clients where that activity is strictly OFF LIMITS back home. It’s no bad thing in this game to sometimes stand back and think about the ‘general public’ and their attitudes to things of a sexual nature…one gets hardened as an Escort and it’s easy to begin to accept quite extreme acts as being ‘normal’.  YES, as a somewhat prudish and reserved society we’ve come a LONG WAY in recent years, but there’s still a lot of resistance out there!!! I remember selling sex-toys across Yorkshire in the Noughties being surprised (as a liberal Londoner) to note an adverse reaction to my activities and products from many of the menfolk…these hard faced red blooded MALES perceived sextoys to be threat and an insult to their manhood; many of the women came along to roadshows and bought products for their sole use and satisfaction, to compensate for deficiencies in their sex lives, exacerbated by a lack of communication! Communication and consent is CRUCIAL to GREAT SEX!!! But in those (fairly recent) days, many people didn’t talk about it or discuss it! There are still couples, trust us WE KNOW, that don’t mention the SEX word at home, OMG!!!  There are STILL couples who don’t have any toys, or consider how they might help in a relationship! Still millions of women through the menopause and not interested in their partner’s sexual needs…we HEAR ALL ABOUT IT, time after time from our niche clientele, mature sexually active mostly married men. There are two sides to every story though, we know that!

Some in the adult business credit ‘Fifty Shades’ as the catalyst that’s changed attitudes so much in recent years for the good, while others deride it as rubbish which presents a false interpretation of BDSM activities. I haven’t had the time to read it, though Minx enjoyed it; I believe there’s a sequel out soon.  Anyway, back to so-called ‘unconventional’ activities, or should we say ‘unconventional’ to ‘the many’. Let’s talk water sports.  And I’m not talking about blasting up a lake behind a big American ski boat kicking up a wall of spray, enjoyable though that is for sure! LOL I’m talking about ‘to pee or not to pee’ AKA giving and/or receiving watersports! We are getting more and more requests… another sexual activity becoming ‘mainstream’ if you’ll forgive the PUN!  There are a good many folk out there fascinated by the subject and want to experience it; it’s without doubt a big turn on to many! We’re lucky with Minx being a copious ‘squirter’ (female ejaculation), fascinating for many of our lovely clients, but some want more, they want pure pee! Or to watch pee! Or be covered in pee. Or drink Pee. I remember a program decades ago about ‘alternative sexual activities’ on late at night, and a guy drinking glassful’s of pee, and I didn’t ‘get it’. What I ‘get’ NOW, is that one’s limits grow over time (for some anyway, not all), the MIND being probably the most powerful sexual organ of them all. This aspect of our vocation we find ever more fascinating. As escorts we see and experience so much and constantly push boundaries to appease clients, it just goes with the territory. Sometimes, I confess, some of the activities do NOTHING for us nevertheless we can still perform them flawlessly to the benefit of the client. Watersports are a case in point. Last week we visited a gent who desperately wanted to be urinated on, who went into ecstasy as we BOTH stood over him and drenched him while lying on the floor of his luxury boutique hotel room….he conceded that he’d never had TWO people do it to him….he was in heaven! For us…well, it was our job, it was quite sexy but no great shakes….a satisfied client, a lovely man, a high flyer with a sad situation at home to cope with, all in all a common enough scenario. Our over-riding priority and what makes us tick is giving our clients a mind-blowing sexperience. Occasionally that develops into a mindblowing experience for us too, particularly with repeat clients who we get to know and ‘luv’.  Fast forward a couple of days and another outcall to another man in a similar place in his life to the former. Over all the time we’ve been escorting, we’ve never left anything behind after a meet, not even a snippet of a condom wrapper, but this night alas, we were well down the road before deciding to check the sexphone, to find it….nowhere 🙁  We had left it with our client….a call verified it was indeed still there, so we agreed to return. The meeting had been a little unusual tbh and didn’t run to the normal kind of pattern.  Minx forgot to use the toilet before leaving, and once in the car she was saying she could just about wait till we got home, prior to us discovering we’d left the phone.  The subsequent backtrack and collection of the phone added to Minx’s discomfort, there was no alternative but to find a place for her to pee, and PDQ at that! We pulled off the Motorway (not for us to give ‘plod’ the satisfaction of booking us for peeing on the hard shoulder, no sir!)…I know the area well, and vaguely recalled a quiet spot from years ago…yes, there it was, an ancient bridge a viaduct almost, closed to traffic spanning a big river in the North East. It was a hot summer night, I hadn’t ‘cum’ during the meeting, and Minx had chosen to wear an expensive mid length dress with a low cut + heels, and a cheeky new haircut…I respect her and normally she doesn’t like to let me watch her pee in the open, but tonight was different….she bailed out of the car, leaving the door ajar, and squatted down between the vehicle and the bridge wall…as luck would have it there was a large steel drainage grill just in the right spot…she gushed her piss into the drain with the expensive dress hiked up to her waist….WOW, there was the roar of the water under the bridge, a clear and rapidly darkening sky above but still daylight, cars speeding by a few feet away, huge trees in full leaf above us…her piss went on for an eternity, she talked to me all the time, she looked divine, THIS WAS SEXY, this was a turn on, WOW. Very often a change in environment is all that’s needed to turn ‘so-so’ into ‘so fooking sexy!’  A bulge was growing down below, RELIEF was necessary!  Minx stood up, we kissed passionately, she then took out my cock before standing aside and talking dirty, before ducking to avoid a heavy blast of the ‘white stuff’….Fast forward a few fays more and we see another client who tells us in the pre-amble that ‘though he isn’t into water-sports per se, he does get turned on by watching a woman pee, but doesn’t know why’….I rest my case!

Until next time, stay horny, SAFE SEX ALWAYS, & HAVE FUN!

Luv fun50geeze xx

Union Jack

Friday 1st July 2016

Hello to all our Sexy Friends & Followers!

I’m always being told that I should be constantly writing content because that’s how ‘social media works’. That’s according to the zillion self-proclaimed experts out there, many of whom just want my money to enrol me on some ‘expert course’ which will supposedly grow our followers by 5000 overnight, yeah right.  I thought a blog was supposed to be like I’m sharing a story with some-one down the pub, like we’re talking 121….so for that reason I only post a blog when I feel ‘moved’ to do so…and right now I’m feeling ‘moved’. I caught a glimpse of an article in the Guardian (No I’m not one of their readers I hasten to add) about so many people having sleepless nights this past week over Brexit and its aftermath; Yes, Me included. Many of you’ll know of our political interests, former party membership and campaign duties, so YES, the events unfolding have hit a nerve. What prompted me to hit the keyboard was lying in bed wide awake this morning at 3AM with Minx beside me. I rolled over to face her, and was instantly turned on by the sight of one breast spilling out of a sexy silk nighty, the nipple firm and proud. I just couldn’t resist kissing and nibbling gently even though she was half asleep; Minx never resents being woken, unlike so many people who ‘go into one’ if they’re disturbed whilst sleeping…she is gentle, kind and easy-going, as many who visit her testify in their positive feedback…I felt moved enough to tell her there and then that I was truly glad she was in my life and that we were together to face the growing uncertainties in the world. Similar political events ten years ago changed our lives for ever, together with millions of others, and once again we face challenges through little fault of our own.  We are positive people though, and we’ll get through without whining about it or protesting about what’s fair and what not, life goes on. What made this morning so poignant is that just yesterday we saw a client who upped and left our hotel room quite suddenly after ‘cumming’. That in itself is not unusual….so many men shoot their load and it’s all over, finito, despite brave words at the outset promising more, they are OFF, outa there, GONE!   Before pulling on his clothes he conceded that ‘guilt’ had got the better of him as a married man for over 30 years.  I doubt the feeling lasted for more than a few milliseconds because he was a regular patron of many escorts up and down the Country. The guy, in common with many just like him, proclaimed he ‘loved his wife’…a statement that Minx & I discussed over lunch shortly afterwards. We empathize with many who justify visiting an escort as a way to keep a sexless marriage and/or a family intact…it’s just part of the territory of being an Escort…we are simply providing a service and we lose no sleep over that….but just occasionally, like this morning, there’s pause for thought. This referendum has split the country along so many lines….young against old, educated against working class, city against country, South against North, Scotland against England….as Escorts we see little fragments of all that through our close encounters with men from all corners of our Kingdom.  We may be poor in material terms, but our life is rich in that we are a strong and loving couple, pragmatic & enterprising, fully supportive of one another, and for that we are thankful in these scary times, Stay horny, safe sex always, until next blog, take care y’all,

Luv, fun50couple XX

tyneside Thursday 26th May 2016

Pastures anew!

Hello to all our Sexy Friends & Followers!

Hi every-one from the North East of England! What a turbulent month it’s been, though thankfully we’ve been kept busy, meeting new people as well as a number of regulars now we’ve moved closer to them.  I recalled the number of moves I’ve made in my adult life the other day and got to 25 different homes, so I’m no stranger to upheaval, though recent years have been more stable since meeting Minx. With a background in business I’m well aware that it’s never safe to assume things will be the same when re-locating or that matter taking over an existing business from a new owner. I’ve met many folk over the years who moved to Scotland ‘for a better quality of life’ only to return South years later with their tail between their legs, skint.  We love Scotland and are thankful for the success we’ve enjoyed from business activity there over the past decade; but it was time to move on. One of the things I find endlessly fascinating in this tiny little country of ours (which we can still just about call the ‘United’ Kingdom) is the diversity of the people and cultures even of the indigenous population.  One of the attractions of escorting is that you get to meet so many interesting people, many of them successful people too, which is always a plus.  When one’s lived in so many places over a lifetime, its frequently possible to place a person’s origin within a few miles just by listening to them talk…some Yorkshire accents are unique even to individual towns, so it came as no surprise to us to find things very different a mere 140 miles down the road! Granted, 50% of our clientele even in Scotland were English; nevertheless, they came from all corners of the country. Now, we are in Geordie-Land, which has always been a separate little part of England in its own right (Devolution anybody?) Having lived here previously and worked here as a youngster, I/We were looking forward to the change, and all things being equal, we are pleased we finally made the move.

The first client was a shock! Brusque, course & forward-some to the extreme and totally different to what we’ve been used to….OK we’re escorts FFS, used to dealing with all kinds obviously…it’s just that we were caught off-guard. Time to take notice! And maybe tweak a few things. In Scotland, with 47% of the country’s population in Glasgow alone, and most of the rest within the Central Belt, we were in effect, tapping into and able to ‘pitch’ to the whole of the country. Now, in the North East we are in a relatively isolated part of ‘another’ country AKA ENGLAND, a country with 65 million+ people! And it would be fair to say, a part of the country deprived to a degree, yet a region nevertheless fiercely proud of its heritage, resilient to the shocks imposed upon it by a new industrial revolution and successive governments seemingly indifferent to its plight. So, we’ve tweaked our profile and website in response to differences; early results are promising, with some very intense & enjoyable outcalls over the past few days…stay tuned for more positive reviews on the site.

We are planning a trip to London again very soon to see Miss Kim; some of you will know about her excellent fetish workshops held in the Capital…We already see a number of subbie clients & we are for ever increasing our knowledge of our trade. It’s always useful to rub shoulders with and learn from the very best, hence our planned visit. Now we are in mainstream Britain, we shall also be visiting vendors met at last year’s #Sexhibition in Manchester for the purpose of adding to Minx’s wardrobe, to include more custom fitted items in corsetry and latex. Work is also continuing at an accelerated pace on our fun-five-0 brand. Many of you’ll know of my former experience selling adult products…there are now literally thousands of folk selling online, however, quality never goes out of fashion, and there are few retailers out there with the kind of ‘hands on’ experience we as an escort couple bring to the table. So we shall be offering items we know will appeal to certain sectors. We shall be testing them too, and there are other plans afoot to promote them in ways unique to fun50couple, Stay tuned guys (and girls!)

I’m forever thinking, & for a while I’ve been surmising that maybe my blogs are a wee bit too serious; With a background in business and a passion for politics, it’s hard not to be!  Thankfully of course I/we are very sexual too…sometimes stresses & pressures from the business & political world feed the sexual appetite…a trait surely recognised by many in the sub community holding down high profile jobs with mega responsibility by day, before seeking  solace through humiliation & degradation on the darker side, but I digress!  How about us sharing with you some X rated chapter & verse instead?

Enter a wiry little 50 something year old man from Lancaster who found himself in a hotel local to us in the North East. Prior telecons had established he was potentially bi-curious and seeking a threesome experience; it was on his ‘bucket list’, a very common scenario. Tbh you never know with bi-curious; with self-proclaimed bi people its black and white, not so with curious! Sometimes it’ll mean they just want to look at cock while enjoying a vanilla experience, others want to feel another guy for the first time and maybe just maybe want to suck, others just don’t know; Some have had a fleeting experience almost by accident in earlier life and want to re-visit it before its ‘too late’. Occasionally some will just bottle out and take flight before even meeting! Some guys will cover themselves by saying they’d like to spend time watching first or even to spend time with Minx alone before maybe me ‘joining in’! That’s all OK with us. It never hurts to try and put ourselves in their shoes from time to time….something we endeavour to do, because many are nervous to the extreme, even some repeat clients. Anyway, we’ll call him Clive to preserve anonymity; Clive greeted us in ordinary work clothes, and we verified what he was after….Yes, maybe he’d like to watch first. He hadn’t washed so Minx suggested a freshen up (We recently had a guy say he was ‘alright thanks and didn’t need a wash’…..after driving a car repping all Summers Day…yeah right sunshine….it’s not you going down on your stinking cock is it;  even after a cursory wipe he still smelt….one of the downsides of escorting we know and what we have to put up with for sure, we are OK with that….but rest assured YOU WON’T BE BACK) anyway…back to Clive who appeared naked and semi hard after a few minutes…Minx complimented him on his manhood and asked if he’d ever touched a cock; he replied by requesting we start to play together….sometimes we fuck and other times we make love, it’s possible indeed necessary sometimes to fuck and not even be turned on by it in the name of duty, however, we were feeling particularly close that day and lovemaking ensued watched by Clive, who’s cock quickly rose to the occasion. Minx was sucking me and Clive approached soon after to kneel beside her head, so she could enjoy one cock after another before conceding she liked nothing better than sucking 2 cocks together… Clive’s cock touched mine, this was a first for him & not for the feint hearted for sure, no matter, any pre-conceived thoughts Clive had quickly vanished as Minx licked and sucked, bringing both men to an extreme state of arousal…three sexy people beginning an adventure in a hotel room far away from a sexless marriage & a prosaic lifestyle….this was FUN….nae, this was but ‘a once in a lifetime experience’ he murmured between sucking hard on Minx’s impressive breasts, and caressing her voluptuous curves. Furious tit-fucking followed while Minx continued to suck me, before Clive pulled away quickly, he was on the brink for sure….time to get between Minx’s thighs; Minx is one for slow gentle stimulation, and if a guy’s got a couple of days beard growth so much for the better as it rubs against her silky smooth skin. Clive fed hungrily on her lips and seemed to get very turned on digging his nose deep up into her by now very wet cunt, as I stretched her flesh up and backwards from her clit, allowing me to stroke her sweet spot gently whilst Clive continued feasting on her juices…..I could see in-between breaths that she was becoming very aroused…..her cunt muscle had swollen like a ripe plum, thrusting outwards from the pussy lips and shiny wet, I knew that female ejaculation was imminent, an added bonus for many men who’ve never experienced it…and one to be surely savoured by our Clive who bore the brunt of her gush, savouring the sweet taste, and revelling in the experience, his head and receding hair utterly drenched by her squirt; Minx offered a towel, but this was too good to miss…Clive rubbed his still wet face and upper body, then licked his fingers before barely whispering for us to start fucking. Minx lay back and we started to make love, yeah….make love….this was no ordinary meeting, here was a connection, here was a guy who was sensual, sexual, a beautiful fleeting connection made ever more poignant to us as a couple having learned earlier that day of the death of a close friend….We fucked gently but deeply…while Clive looked on, but only for a couple of minutes before diving in and under to enjoy the view…this was LIVE EXTREME PORN to him….I hoped for… and was soon rewarded & gratified by the feel of his tongue eagerly licking us both as we fucked, his stubble scoring our flesh, his powerful licking erotic to the extreme…so warm wet and sexy, this was classic 3some sex….I withdrew briefly and not to my complete surprise I have to say…..he seized the opportunity to take my cock deeply into his mouth and throat and sucked for England on it like a man possessed…… a common outcome we witness many times over from seemingly luke warm ‘bi-curious’ married men….they seem to throw caution and preconceptions to the wind and get lost in the moment; I  saved my cum….he was sucking so hard I was on the verge of pain, never far removed from pleasure though is pain as many of us know….Now he wanted to FUCK, and fuck hard…no problem for him slipping on a condom…we have all sizes and he quickly selected one of the latest ‘skins’ before entering Minx while I offered my manhood to her….I’m no spring chicken and though hard I was no longer like a rock….after three fucks that day already that was to be expected….I reached for my trusty friend in these situations….a heavy steel ring, lubed my cock and slid it on over my length…Clive was Rockin & Rolling…we’d all been experiencing intense activity now for a good 45 minutes….I always like to try and come together with the client if possible…many ask to see me shower Minx with a good heavy facial; it turns a lot of men on seeing that, so I started masturbating…I knew I had to come and he would most probably explode shortly after…the cock ring kicked in….if you’ve never experienced one guys then BUY ONE today…the sensation is supreme & I N T E N S E….that taut ‘oh so fucking hard and powerful feeling’….yes I know…every man’s experienced it for sure…way back when they were 17 or 18 and invincible…..yeah right….4 decades ago!!!! The cock ring restores that feeling, and then some!….I aimed for Minx’s face as requested but it was utterly futile! The pressure was SOOOOO intense there was no controlling it….a heavy cummer no matter what, my far flung seed spattered the wall beyond the bedside table, arrow straight streaks of white stuff shot across the sex toys….only the last few drops reaching their target AKA Minx’s lips….and a mini snowball for Clive who by this time had emptied his balls deep into Minx while I was pre-occupied …..the man finally emerged wringing wet, smiling, gasping, breaking out into a giggle…a short while later after we had bade farewell we were both left wondering if it really was going to be a ‘once in a lifetime experience’ for him?

Now where have we heard that one before? Until next time…..stay safe, stay horny,

Luv, fun50couple xx

domDate: 18th April 2016

'AUTHENTICITY', a modern dilemma.

Hello to all our Sexy Friends & Followers!

Its spring time, and Summer is supposed to be round the corner yet we are still shivering in Scotland with snow on the Border at the weekend BRRRRRR! So no outdoor activities just yet! So, what have we been up to lately? It's been very up and down and not helped by mobile phone woes.  Awe, the wonders of modern technology!

The Adult Industry is no different from any other these days in that to succeed you need to be promoting on the web, including using social media. I have been learning internet marketing for the past couple of years, can now build websites and funnels quite well, and find myself regularly rubbing  shoulders with the ‘great and the good’ in that industry via seminars and conferences. These people talk a lot about ‘social proof’ and the need to be ‘authentic’. This has led me to do a lot of soul searching over recent months because ‘authentic me’ (and Minx for that matter) is a person who is FULL ON, either ALL or NOTHING, some-one who DELIVERS 100% to my customer, some-one who says what he thinks from the heart without much care for the consequences, some-one sickened by double standards & the falseness of so much we see in today’s ‘socially media driven’ world.

You see, its like this: when Minx and I are entertaining a client, we go about it because it’s almost our raison-d’etre; we are both naturally very sexual and intuitive people, able to immerse ourselves totally in the scene, shutting out everything else. That connection is frequently picked up on by clients who tell us all too often about other providers, particularly the foreigners in our midst…who merely ‘go through the motions’ not to mention watching the clock and in many cases, dispatching them well before time! In common with many folk our age, we have always downplayed our abilities and skills, and that hasn’t mattered too much because wheels USED TO TURN very slowly….however, in this new digital world one cannot be so blasé. Because the savvy social media brigade are shouting from the rooftops…..these people 'MUST BE GOOD' because they’ve got a zillion ‘likes’ and they’re on ‘Linked In’ which of course gives them instant credibility (REALLY?????). Its common knowledge that if you’re chasing success then you need to be associating with winners not losers…as I’ve learned more I’ve wanted to mix with some of these millionaire people….nothing heavy….just to meet and talk, have a few drinks, forge friendships, the kind of thing business people used to do…..I’ve had friends like that before, but they’re sadly passed; I held out my hand to some of these entrepreneurs but the realization gradually sunk in; Today’s version of a friendship is NOW, all too often a Facebook Group. I was encouraged to join one such group and within a few days, people I’d never met, were talking to me on first name terms, and SHARING their stuff with me. OK, I don’t bother with much SM because I’m not remotely interested in peoples  grand-kids, or who they’re slagging off, or what they had for breakfast or the third fancy holiday they’ve taken this year blah blah This ‘business’ friendship though was supposed to be different. It was supposed to nurture advancement among like-minded people.  Tbh it made me SICK. There were people marketing stuff and saying how wonderful they were, and others patting them on the back….but very few of them MAKING ANY MONEY! The people making the real money were the people ‘sharing’ information with them via online courses on sale at £1500 a time! U don’t need many people shelling out 1500 sobs to become a millionaire double quick. So, this ‘authentic’ word that these people were ramming down my throat hit a NERVE. I have always been authentic and true to myself as has Minx. And much of all this new stuff isn’t me. Yet we are being sold the story that most every-one and their neighbor is buying all and sundry from their phone or ‘device’ and they’re all connected on social media…. And to succeed, you really have to be ridin' the wave. So on the one hand, Minx and I are involved in a VERY DEEP & GENUINE 121 connection in the bedroom with our client, and on the other hand we are being sold the story that to succeed commercially we need a DEEP CONNECTION with potential new clients via social media…which is a very FLIMSY FALSE & TAWDRY connection in our eyes (but not in the eyes of the serious internet  players). That deep 121 connection with our clients pays off.  We ARE successful as an escort couple.  One recent visitor summed it up to a ‘T’. He had communicated his desires to us very fully beforehand (no sick one liner from him!) and was obviously an experienced player who took time to choose who to spend his time and money with carefully.  In common with many, he covered himself to a degree by telling us that ‘sometimes he had a problem getting hard’. Not that we noticed, with a good solid boner for nearly an hour, and an explosive meet! He told us at the conclusion that he worked on the basis of ‘NO CONNECTION NO ERECTION!’  I loved that! He confided that on a few previous occasions he had been turned off by a service provider, paid his money and walked…a tale we’ve heard several times now. As professional escorts we have to have the skills to conjure up that connection. We and a select few of our competitors can do that, and it is the reason for our success. If people don’t have those skills then they shouldn’t be doing it! There are many youngsters on Escort sites, some in their teens and many in their low twenties. I question how these people can really deliver? They just don’t have the life experience or the human relationship experience….it’s not just about fucking…. granted, some people might just want that, but our clients in the main, look for a deeper & more sensual experience…as well as the fucking! Conversely we ourselves don’t connect so well with many youngsters weened on fickle social media ‘friendships’, & is the primary reason we prefer to meet more mature people. We perceive a very stark contrast in the values and lifestyles between the under 35’s and the overs.

All this matters more to us because of our efforts with Fun-Five-0, our niche brand aimed at sexually active 40-70+ year old people many of whom shun social media.  Problems such as ED, debilitating illnesses, stale relationships, partners who are no longer interested or able to perform are frequent issues we are exposed to and want to help with through our brand. The big question is HOW DO WE ENGAGE WITH THESE PEOPLE, REMAINING AUTHENTIC AND TRUE TO OURSELVES IN ORDER TO BUILD OUR BRAND? ….which is very desirable as we grow older ourselves; Answers on a postcard please!

Stay hornee, Luv, fun50couple xxx


Date:31st March 2016

I read a post on Twitter yesterday from SEXHIBITION under the #SexFacts tag;

It immediately triggered all kinds of dark memories & prompted me to share them here. From the age of six, I was packed off to boarding school, and a succession of similar establishments up and down the country as my father sought promotions in public service. The first three schools were like something out of 'Tom Brown’s School Days' (1857 Thomas Hughes) complete with resident bullies akin to the notorious Flashman character at Rugby. To make matters worse, I was moved at the age of 12 to my final grammar school residing in a 17th Century castle. Worse because in those days, after the dreaded 11+ which pretty much sealed ones fate in life, you were in the same class until leaving age; so enrolling at the age of 12 meant I was joining a class who’d already bonded for a year. 60% of the pupils were military kids, mostly boarders, intensely competitive and obsessed with sport, especially football. I had no interest whatsoever in team sport least of all football, so of course I was written off within the first week. My Victorian father made bloody sure I was nothing like my contemporaries either…growing up in the sixties and early 70s with the Beatles, TOTP’s, Progressive Rock Music, long hair, leather boots not shoes…the whole permissive society thing…my ‘well meaning’ parents effectively caused me to be excluded, different, & rejected by 98% of my year… it was a life of MISERY. I survived of course and in later years a few pupils who had by then developed their own minds, came to accept me for who I was, much to the chagrin of the baying hounds.  And ‘bay’ they did. There were changing rooms and PE classes and swimming of course, and plenty of times when one was exposed naked not to mention other times when one could be stripped and humiliated for little reason other than bully peer pressure…all very ugly and GOD HELP YOU if you were perceived to have a SMALL PENIS! These military kids seemed to have bigger cocks or so they thought, certainly way bigger than me, however, I wasn’t at the bottom of the scale….thankfully. Two or three kids had tiny dicks and their life was made even more miserable than mine. When a ‘master’ as the teachers were known, called one of these poor kids by name in class, the ‘pack’ would scream in a high pitched voice ‘EUNUCH’ and bay for blood without any discouragement  from the teacher….many of whom were pathetic bullies themselves. As we got older some of the boys once they became ‘CAPABLE’ as they called it (like a badge of honour) masturbated in front of classmates fascinated by this 'new' experience but not yet quite there themselves…so some of us got to view others hard members at close quarters; There was very occasionally a porno mag circulating class, but it seldom got to me for I was different in their eyes, and had shown a hint of my bi side even then…more ammunition for ridicule.  It all ended at age 17  when I shunned UNI and went away to sea as a cadet…..and a very steep learning and socializing curve I have to say. Not for me was a mis-spent youth, or socializing with girls, parties, fun…it was straight in to work. That’s just how it was for many young men back then! Nothing unusual. Most of us experienced our first fuck in some foreign port with a dubious hooker for a few pounds, and many ended up a few days later knocking sheepishly on the Chief Steward's cabin door for a private ‘consultation’ and a sharp jab in the ass. I chose to lose my cherry to a girl 10 years older than me here in the UK…albeit on Tilbury Docks! Back to the small penis though. After all those years in HELL, I was still under the illusion that I was small, not helped by a cruel wife who yelled on a couple of occasions she’d 'seen more meat on a butchers knife'. After extricating myself from a 15 year joke of a marriage, I found myself FREE. For the first time I was ME. AUTHENTIC GROWN UP ME. Still haunted slightly by the assumption I was on the small side (a couple of mm short of 7”btw; I know….You’ve been wondering LOL) there seemed, nevertheless to be no complaints from partners….to the contrary. At age 39 I met my most exciting partner yet, ostensibly a nurse, but it didn’t take long for me to rumble her…her expertise with a condom gave it away…yes she was an escort looking for a 'normal' relationship and WOW was she FUN, and a looker too. We had a great time, and she confided to me AT LAST, AT LONG FOOKIN LAST that my equipment was ‘quite respectable’. Finally I had it on good authority that I was OK! PHEW! The relationship lasted about 6 months before she accepted an offer of marriage from a mega wealthy client as I went in a different direction with another woman. I’d always been fascinated by the adult industry and the time with the escort reinforced that interest,  and it wasn’t long before I began selling adult products in the North of England, and of course full blown escorting followed AKA fun50couple. ROCK AND ROLL! As a bisexual male escort along with my female partner I was now seeing scores of men. And to my complete surprise, and for the first time in my life, I saw the reality! Most men are less than 6”, many are no more than 5”…occasionally we see a beauty weighing in at 8”+ even 9” but they are the EXCEPTION not the rule! I began to see different characteristics…some were small period, some were small but grew impressively, some were big but barely changed when aroused…All fascinating and illuminating stuff!

So when I saw that post saying that around half of all men thought of their penis as being too small it really STIRRED UP MEMORIES and EMOTIONS. It took me 20 years to come out from under the cloud caused by the school boy bullies and my guess is that many of those 50% of men will have been through similar experiences 🙁 So get over it guys! Don’t worry! Be Happy! As an Escort Couple we can tell you WITH AUTHORITY it’s not how big, its how you use it and how you treat a woman! Many women despite popular supposition DON’T ACTUALLY LIKE A BIG PENIS! More women would cry out for some ‘expertise and finesse’ in the bedroom, alas, seldom seen by all accounts! It’s certainly and most definitely NOT all about SIZE!

PS: Get yourself a ticket to 2016 SEXHIBITION: August 19-21st, Manchester UK. We went to last year’s inaugural event; it’s well worth the visit!

image of web development and target marketDate:29th March 2016. Are you an Escort looking for a Professional Adult Industry website like this, without any hassle? Look no further: Get in touch!

Jer modelling 014 - pixelatedDate:29th March 2016 & Welcome to this new BLOG PAGE! Most news is posted by J (him) with occasional contributions from Minx (her). We shall be posting about what its like to be an Escort Couple; the good, the bad and the ugly. We'll  share with you suitably anonymized notes on our raunchier meets, and from time to time invite contributions from guest writers. Our day to day exploits as a mature Escort Couple over many years gives us a unique insight into the World of Sex, across all ages, which we believe, qualifies us to pass comment on all kinds of problems and subject matter relating to male sexuality. Our own adult brand 'FUN-FIVE-O' is specifically targeted at this demographic, so expect to see regular updates and news including evaluations of our own and others products. We're known as a 'fun couple' first and foremost so we'll be posting amusing stuff too...feel free to email us content for consideration: That's it for NOW! News of blog activity will be shared on Twitter, Stay Tuned and Stay Horny! Luv, J xxx