Are You Dreaming of a Happier & More Contented You? Find out more….
This morning first thing we got a ‘Hi’ and an image on Mistress’s phone, followed a couple of minutes later by another ‘hi’ on the couple phone, from the same number. In other words ‘same shit different day’ as we can expect upwards of a dozen Hey’s & Hi’s followed by not much else. (in case you’re wondering, we DID respond in a +++ manner, to no avail but hey ho #sexworkisrealwork, the sex bit the easy bit ha!) I’m not being harsh, I’m just sharing with you aspects of our work as professional escorts, and/or Dominatrix and male pro dom. The scene’s changed quite dramatically over the fifteen years or so we’ve been working at the sharp end of the adult industry… demographics have a lot to do it, so too has the plandemic nevertheless there’s one constant…’fantasy’ and what should you do with it. Some say fantasies should remain fantasies while others take a different view. Those ‘others’, often, are people bedeviled by personal demons; thoughts that steadfastly refuse to go away, kinky thoughts, contrarian thoughts, aka ‘the little seed’ we refer to in our profiles and websites. The little seed which only grows over time, prevailing against all odds & conscious effort to quell it. Yep! That pretty much sums up fantasy. So let’s explore.
Imagination’s a powerful thing, spurring us forward, with hope. It can reduce stress & promote ‘feel good factor’. Overdo it though and things can get out of hand. Thoughts can morph into escapism, negatively affecting work/home life. We’re living through tough times; escapism is an inclination to escape unpleasant aspects of daily life, typically through activities involving imagination or entertainment. We get that. Unlike the majority in our industry who play it purely for mercenary reasons, a numbers game screwing over vulnerable people, we like to think we’re different. Our feedback is testament to that… escort service delivered with enthusiasm, empathy & a desire to EXCEL. But this post isn’t about blowing our own trumpet, its about dealing with fantasies, and how to make sure you don’t end up just chasing an ILLUSION.
What do we mean by that? For there to be any chance of fantasies becoming real, purposeful action has to be taken. In fairness to this morning’s wannabe punter (the hi & hi again guy) he had taken action; one baby step forward towards his dream. Perhaps next time he’ll go further and tell us more about what he wants and what makes him tick. Great sex is ALL ABOUT communication, something the Millennial generation has forgotten how to do, except by text. Skin on skin is SELDOM likely to happen through text communication alone, whether it be an escort appointment, OR in the realms of dating. That is why record numbers of under 45’s are living alone, unable to kindle relationships; instead of being content to accept ‘realistic optimism’ & a willingness to change and adapt, these people persist with unrealistically high expectations, and thus, endless disappointment. In the world of psychology there’s a famous quote by Viktor Frankl in his book Man’s Search for Meaning: “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
‘Pandoras Box’ comes to mind as I write this post… defined as a process that once begun generates many complicated problems. Pornography being one in that it creates those ‘unrealistic high expectations’. It’s a subject also high on the agenda just now with the implementation of the Online Safety Act and the reason why we’ve suspended NEWS VIEWS & SCREWS & removed a lot of NSFW images in websites and profiles. You’d better believe it’s the thin end of the wedge as the Establishment bears down on our industry in lockstep with the introduction of digital currency & CBDC’s (scheduled for introduction in the EU in October this year yes you read that right THIS YEAR so #WakeUp) That is the subject of a blog post in itself. StayTuned.
When you’re fantasizing over same sex desire or sex positivity, or swinging, you’ll likely have a vision of a ‘perfect threesome or group scenario’, and may even have booked meetings with couples only to be disappointed. Why? Because you’re attempting to match reality to some kind of idealized template etched in your mind. Getting what you really want usually takes time. It takes patience, research, a willingness to embrace imperfection, and an ability to celebrate ‘small victories’. Those ‘baby steps’ might include, for example, phone sex for the first time; (even that’s a BIG STEP for some folk, and btw, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it, it can be VERY powerful) Sharing a fantasy with kindred souls out loud makes the scenario more real and less abstract. You also benefit from constructive feedback from empathetic others (in our case anyway) not to mention more ‘flesh on the bone’ ie the high probability of erotic chat & a Happy Ending. Candid discussion over a phoneline means you’re less likely to experience disappointment when its time to step up. Or step down for that matter. You might choose to book multiple visits to different service providers as ‘you find your feet and fine tune’. Both are examples of purposeful action, moving you forward. Fantasies seem easy & comfortable, IN THEORY, before all the real life shit kicks in, things like conflicting emotions, personality clashes, bumps in the road to name but a few. Skip the prep & you risk being lured into a meet which promises instant gratification & a short term HIGH, but one which delays long term fulfilment.
So next time you’re daydreaming, ask questions of yourself. ‘Is this fantasy even realistic?’ ‘What steps can I/must I take for a favorable outcome’ ‘What obstacles do I face, and how do I get around them?’
Only then will you stand any chance of turning fantasy into reality OR banishing demons. You’re consciously choosing between elements of your fantasy which are beneficial (inspiring change) and those which are baseless illusions causing you to dither. Does that sound familiar? Some men we meet have tormented themselves for DECADES I kid you not. Attend to that little seed; Embrace it, nurture it…………. or kill it.
Humans naturally seek comfort and most will do everything possible to AVOID discomfort. We all know people who’ve had lofty goals, got halfway there, met adversity, then scurried back to perceived safety and unfulfilled ambition. If they’d only persevered & confronted problems head on, they’d likely be comfortable again ‘on the other side’. We know the younger generations don’t like talking on a phone, it’s WAY OUT OF THEIR COMFORT ZONE. But we’re talking in this blog about intimate liaisons & threeway sex for heavens sake! Moving out of your comfort zone is the way you stretch…. And when you stretch you move forward. Got that? Good. To get what you truly want, ask the questions, take productive steps, accept imperfections, embrace small victories. Hopefully by now you’ll know more about the way things work with fantasies. So do a bit of homework then pick up the phone. We would love to meet you, yes YOU!