JANUARYImage of the UK's most sought after mature escort duo, fun50couple18






Hello Sexy Friends! So we're well into the New Year! Is it 'back to work blues' or 'onward & upward'? Hopefully the latter. As self employed escorts we can't afford the luxury of shutting down for a fortnight over the festive period so with the exception of Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Year's Eve it was business as usual. Unfortunately with so many folk off, it turned out like an average weekend, with time-wasters and dreamers in their droves, some malicious, but then that's part of the territory, we know that. It was good to catch up with another escort couple in Stoke on Trent the last day of 2017; we had a delightful lunch with them, swapping stories and sharing information, before driving up to the Peak District for the night. The 1st of January saw us on our way to London in chaos...we hadn't been able to log on to the internet while in the Peak District nor the Chesterfield McDonalds...with adult sites blocked, nevertheless we checked in to a hotel on the M25, sorted ourselves out, got a lucky job first thing on the Tuesday and managed to arrive at Barnet Bastille for 1130, Pheww! For those of you who don't know, Barnet Bastille is a dungeon owned and run by one of the capital's best known doms Miss Kitty Bliss. We were Image of Fun50Couplethere for a photo shoot and left three hours later with a handful of decent shots by well known fet photographer Phil from PKK Photography. Three days in Richmond then 2 more in Eltham SE9 saw few jobs, but the ones we did do were all quality clients with lengthy bookings, so the week turned out well. As usual it was hero to zero stuff once we returned to the North East, with us checking to see if the phones were working, offset once again by repeat customers saving the day. Positive feedback, and lots of it, really is paying off in these hard times...the same for many businesses....there's nothing like tough times to sort wheat from chaff. Geeze's well publicized view over the past 6 months that the country (the North in particular) was back in recession and approaching something like 2008 all over again appear to nave been vindicated to a degree with news from Debenhams of a 21% drop in share price due to poor Xmas trading, and also reports in 'The Times' that the market for new homes has stalled. We rub shoulders with a lot of well heeled people, and many of them share the view that the problem is uncertainty....and not just with Brexit, but fear also of a Corbyn Government, which is holding back confidence and investment. 2018 looks like being another rocky year, but as in all things, there are winners and losers, so it's down to us and no-one else, to navigate our way through it all, and to keep trading. There's always room for improvement! Talking of which, we've managed to find funds this year to enable Geeze to attend 'Eroticon' in Camden March 17-18th.

Eroticon is a conference for erotic writers, and it's hoped new skills will be learned in the area of sex-blog promotion, legal issues and content generation.

I'm kind of looking forward to it, but also kind of dreading it. Why?...because the adult industry is close-knit and cliquey, and I/we are not ones to follow the fold AKA other bloggers and self proclaimed gurus, particularly those who sit to the far left of centre. So it's going to be a case of sitting down and shutting up me thinks and gleaning what useful tips I can. At least I'll have company...one of my fave subscribers works for an adult wholesaler, and I suggested some time ago she approach her boss about funding her ticket and expenses for the weekend....she writes a blog for the company; Apparently they agreed and I'm looking forward to meeting her and her partner there, both avid readers of NVS and two friendly faces in Camden at least 🙂  Minx meanwhile will be savoring the delights of Oxford Street and Covent Garden, in easy reach of our Islington hotel. Look out for a full report on the conference coming soon to NVS. Other NEWS: We'll be touring to the Queensferry Crossing area in Scotland around Valentines Day, co-inciding with the release of Fifty Shades Freed, which we'll be going to see....all in the line of duty of course!


Our niche clientele comprises mainly 'married men age 40+, professional/business types, usually bi-curious or secretly bisexual', so it comes as no surprise, that 'sexuality' is a subject constantly discussed between ourselves, and with customers. We frequently meet men who've tormented themselves for decades over sexual feelings they're not entirely comfortable with; thoughts like fetishes and same sex desire which steadfastly refuse to go away, & keep 'popping up' to the surface. Truth is, they don't and NEVER WILL go away PERMANENTLY until you 'put them to bed'. We like bed. Especially when we're in it with a sexually liberated person, like YOU 🙂 Long time subscribers of 'News Views n Screws' will have come across references to the KINSEY SCALE ..we're all on it to some degree, and our position on the scale will often change at different stages of our lives. We find this subject endlessly fascinating, why? Because we're at what you might call 'the sharp end of the business' with men visiting us specifically to put their minds at rest and to 'explore', in a safe, sane and non judgmental environment. Many of them are a bag of nerves...a couple of guys have even got as far as semi-naked in the bedroom and still bottled out. To be fair, it DOES take courage to visit any escort for the first time, let alone a couple...while at the same time grappling with issues over 'cheating' on their partner etc etc. We don't consider it as infidelity anyway...you should always look after #1, and it's not like you're having an affair...you're just satisfying 'needs'....

Minx reckons most escorts are, in reality, marriage SAVERS, not WRECKERS. Having said that you're as well exploring every avenue before committing to 'play' elsewhere.

By that I mean at least try talking to a partner about a kink, fetish, or changing sexuality...these things are a fact of life. Some people grow apart while others grow together. Discussing these things with your 'significant other' CAN be difficult, but you have to plan your moments, and be prepared to 'give and take'..easier said than done in many relationships I know. The strongest partnerships are those where nothing's hidden, and people can be 100% their authentic selves. Unfortunately for a high percentage, that DOESN'T happen. When BOTH OF YOU can be 100% authentic, with no inhibitions or secrets, you're going to be on fire trust me. So, the majority of men we see haven't been able to discuss these things with their partners for whatever reason. Or to be more correct....many have attempted it, but gotten no-where, and decided to take matters into their own hands. Rock and roll. The most common fantasies we're asked to turn into reality are same sex desire and cuckolding. You'd be surprised how many men have had a fleeting male-on-male experience when younger (and more carefree). Same sex desire doesn't automatically mean you're gay....Far from it...SFW if it does anyway...All it means is you're a sexually liberated being, eager to explore all possibilities, and to share them with others. The Kinsey Scale can be used to give a rough idea of where you stand with regard to sexuality, but just recently while researching this subject I've come across something much much better. Its called the Klein Sexual Orientation Grid and I just had to tell you about it. What the Klein Grid does is to provide a method of working out numerically where you fall on the Kinsey Scale, more accurately whilst eliminating a lot of the guesswork. There are 21 choices to select in accordance with the notes (*below). Once you've done that, click on 'GET RESULTS' and it'll take you to another table with YOUR score. Do it just once guys...the first time is the most accurate, because you won't try and manipulate it to where you think you want to be...just take your time to answer honestly; If you're not sure of an answer don't overthink it, simply enter the first value which came to your head...your 'gut' feeling, GOT IT?

It's EASY and it's FUN, and do you wanna know the best bit? We're giving you the chance to #WIN!

How? Simply by submitting your own personal result to us at fun50couple.com via the score box button. All entries will be Image of flags in Houston TEXASput in a hat and a winner picked. Remember last year? We had winners from Houston TEXAS and WALES. This time we're giving away a ROCKS-OFF Quest....a high quality and powerful prostate massager ideal for beginners, and great for exploring sexuality and pushing limits. Oh, And mind-blowing orgasms too! You can read all about Quest HERE! Rest assured guys, there's no 'hidden agenda'...it's just a bit of fun around Valentines Day, as we love to help men and women enjoy SEX like we do! So if you win it, either use it yourself solo, or with a partner...Remember, couples who play together stay together.

Use these *NOTES to help make your selections...completing the grid should take you no more than 10 minutes!  Get started!.....

  • Past means your life up to a year ago
  • Present means the past 12 months
  • Ideal means where you think you'd like to be eventually


  • Sexual Attraction: Who are you attracted to?
  • Sexual Behaviour: Who have you actually had sex with?
  • Sexual Fantasies: What are your fantasies/daydreams/dreams/thoughts?
  • Emotional Preferences: Who do you love and like, males only/females only/both?
  • Social Preferences: Who do you mix with?
  • Lifestyle Preference: The people you associate with...what is their sexual identity?
  • Sexual Identity: How do you think of YOURSELF?

Once you've made your selections, click 'GET RESULTS'......and BOOM!... you'll see the table replaced with a note showing your SCORE. Under the note there's a box allowing you to link your result to us at fun50couple.com and enter you into the draw. Good Luck! Be sure to insert the email you originally used to subscribe to NEWS VIEWS & SCREWS, got that guys?

Under the box, you'll see explanations of what your score means!  Geeze got 3.18 the first time round, Minx 0.78. If you want to run a friend through the numbers and enter THEM to the draw as well, please ensure they subscribe to NVS first, BEFORE doing the test for it all to work properly. Have FUN! (I'd love to be a fly on the wall if you're a MF couple doing this for the first time!!! 🙂 🙂 )


Klein Sexual Orientation Quiz

Variable Past Present Ideal
Sexual Attraction
Sexual Behavior
Sexual Fantasies
Emotional Preferences
Social Preferences
Heterosexual / Homosexual Lifestyle
Self Identification



This month we're introducing you to 'Daniel'. Daniel, we were to discover, is a highly successful motor trader and businessman from Essex, owning several properties here and abroad, as well as a valuable collection of fine art and antiques built up over the years. Oh yes, there's horses too. He's also partial to a bit of kinky sex now and then but isn't a regular player, enjoying by all accounts a healthy sex life at home; Sometimes though, that isn't quite enough, hence his call to us a fortnight or so ago. We weren't sure at first if he was for real or if he would turn up....chatty, going into intimate detail about what he wanted and bragging about his cock (usually a sign of a dreamer), our fears were allayed an hour or so later, meeting him in a busy street on the outskirts of London. Listening to him on the phone, we'd expected a flamboyant well dressed suit sporting a scarf and gloves but one is never sure...this was a classic case of a guy turning out to be nothing like we imagined...short, stocky, in working trousers, boots and body warmer, dripping with gold....rings, chains, a tooth, you get the picture? He and Geeze 'clicked' straightaway...the World really is a 'small place', the pair sharing stories of the local area, how it 'used to be back in the day' and disgust with the current political landscape particularly with regard to London and Sadiq Can't. [sic] Oh, and Uber, the hated UBER. So the guy turned out to be on the same page as us....BIG RELIEF! He'd also decided since the telephone conversation that an hour might be pushing it if he was to satisfy his demands and to hopefully cum twice, so 90 minutes worth of tribute was slapped on the table, drawn from a battered and bulging leather wallet. Then it was into the shower for a quick freshen up. All good. He emerged several minutes later, fair skinned, muscular, a discreet and tasteful tattoo adorned his back, and nary an ounce of fat, it looked like this gent worked for his wealth, and so it proved. He told us that for nearly 30 years he'd serviced cars as well as sold 'em, 7 days a week, allowing himself a month off, every year since the 90s, to recharge the batteries in sunny California. Fairplay to the guy. A towel partially concealed his averaged sized cock, as he sat awkwardly on the edge of the bed, pondering the first move. Apparently he'd only met with a 'couple' once, around 8 years ago, so this was still new territory for him.

Minx beckoned him to stand and asked him if his nipples were sensitive while Geeze stood close, still dressed in jeans and a T. 'Yes', he liked his nipples stimulated but apparently his biggest turn on's were twofold, rubbing cock against clitoris, and cum. Looking at it, playing with it, tasting it, Cumplay was 'his thing'. Minx wore a black basque trimmed with red satin under a short wetlook 'dom' dress, seamed hold ups, high black suede boots and no nickers; It transpired that Dan had seen our profile on several occasions in the past whilst browsing AdultWork ;  what prompted him to pick up the phone this time was a temporary lack of action at home due to his woman being 'out of sorts'. He obviously had a high sex drive, confessing to masturbating daily, and it was very clear from the outset that he was a guy used to getting what he wanted. And right now, that was tit-flesh...telling us he wanted to rub cum all over Minx's titties at some stage and to leave it there before starting over again with 'round 2', after the 'interval' as he put it. Easing Minx's breasts free from the black lace lingerie, both men began sucking, one each side, arousing her to the point of pert nipples & stirrings 'down below'. Minx ordered Geeze to strip, exposing his semi-hard cock....slimmer than Dan's but a lot longer by now. Dan was still soft.... Knowing from experience that early meeting nerves are the most likely reason for a cock failing to respond, Geeze prompted Dan to elaborate on 'likes' and 'dislikes'.  He didn't want to be touched by another man until he was hard he replied, and the quickest way to get him there was by rubbing his cock against a clitoris.  Planting his lips hard against Minx's, the pair French kissed for what seemed like an eternity, all the time Dan rubbing his penis against her clitoral area. Geeze watched carefully from a distance, looking out for Minx....there's was no doubt Dan was the kinda guy if you gave an inch he'd take a mile. If there was the slightest chance of penetrating her bareback 'accidentally on purpose'  then it looked like he would take it....ground rules were re-iterated in a friendly manner, and Dan took heed, but sailed very close to the wind it has to be said. Some men think that when they're paying a good wadge for an extended meet it gives them the right to break rules, especially straight men.

Some times when things get HOT even we are tempted to break rules, but never do...after all, it only takes one prick to potentially ruin a life!

Dan only 'saw escorts very occasionally', the last lady several months ago....Did we believe that? Errrr NO!  For all we know, he could have had unprotected bareback sex just yesterday! Anyway, Dan was now a respectable 80% hard and thickening up quite nicely...just the kind of arousal Minx likes to work on, telling him to change position so she could suck him while Geeze slowly masturbated beside her head. Dan was eyeing up Geeze's cock; Minx noticed this and told him she wanted to suck two cocks together....taking Dan's first then pulling Geeze over and pushing his cock over and against Dan's, both of them well lubed up with her spit but still tender to her swirling tongue. Dan started to moan slightly, Geeze pulled away, not wanting to be too full on with an essentially straight but nevertheless mildly bi-curious man. Dan's appetite for cock was obviously whetted; straining his head and neck away from Minx he reached for Geeze's member and started sucking on it deeply, while still enjoying oral attention from Minx. After a couple of minutes though he withdrew and went back to stimulating Minx's quim with his penis, which was still on the slim side and tapered, but quite hard. Frantic rubbing pleased Minx no end; female ejaculation began as a dribble accompanied by a sigh, then an outburst of profanity as the flow became a steady stream. Some men are gifted...they know the right spot, the right pressure, the right look, the right way to empathize, and so on and so forth...suffice to say, the sheet was soaking but Minx was on a roll. She needed MORE. He needed MORE. He'd told us he'd wanted water sports both ways not knowing that 'this lady was for squirting'...a rare delight for the Essex businessman; Yes he'd seen squirt before, but never a deluge like this. Quickly rising from her back, Minx squatted over Dan's face, rubbing the palm of her hand up and down the nape of his neck and the back of his head...hair short and spiky in a #1 style;

...that's the way Minx likes her men, a bit rough but well groomed too, similar to Geeze who now joined her in massaging his scalp.

Her hot sex forced hard up against his face, Minx aimed her sweet juice directly into his loud Essex mouth before pumping more, deep into his throat. Let me tell you guys, 'squirting' can be wonderfully erotic...you'll NEVER forget the first time you experience it I promise you. It's reckoned only around 1 in 10 women can do it....though medical experts are of the opinion that most could train themselves to, if they were so minded. Don't listen to the naysayers who say it's rubbish and it's just piss...the only piss is the talk they spout. I love the Scottish expression 'Pesh' by the way!!!! ...it so neatly construes one's deeply felt contempt to any-one on the wrong side of an argument, in a way few other expletives can, 'Pesh' or no pesh, Dan was greedily gulping every last drop, red in the face, and clearly enjoying the experience...it was just what we wanted & EXPECTED!  Any hesitation & misgivings he might have had at the outset were now gone and forgotten, the three of us melding together as one sexually charged mass, 'Fuck her, go on fuck her now' Dan whispered hoarsely. Wiping his face, he looked on intently as Geeze entered his partner, pushing her thighs apart to allow for a good show...'Cum inside her, Fill her pussy for me, Go on, fill it!' he ordered.

There had been a lot of hassle earlier in the day with a 260 mile drive, heavy traffic, and a mix up resulting in a wrong cancellation of our hotel booking; the latter took a while to sort out at hotel reception adding to the stress and eating into the time we had left to get ready for Dan. It had been rush-rush-rush and unpleasant to say the least. Dan's demands over the phone forewarned us that he was not a guy to mess with...so though Geeze was turned on, that EXTRA push wasn't quite there. I'd hazard a bet that many of you readers are chuckling and thinking they'd have no such trouble; it's a very different matter working as a male escort on a daily basis guys! As the years roll by, it takes more and more mind control to deliver in adverse circumstances especially when tired. Could YOU cum twice in an hour, and sometimes do two or even three full-on meets in a 24 hour period?  On the wrong side of 50?  Changing to a squatting position, pumping Minx hard while on his 'unkers' (another Scottish expression) increased his level of arousal, especially when Dan moved into a position behind us, as a voyeur. Things shifted up another gear when he chose to lay underneath licking & sucking on balls, cock and pussy as we fucked. A stubbly chin scoring hard against soft thighs & perineum provided even more sensation.....utterly delicious stimulation it has to be said, (https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/hottest-type-of-facial-hair) sadly cut short as Dan shifted position once more, back to face us, where he could watch us fucking from a better angle, all the time urging Geeze on. Reaching for Dan's cock then gently squeezing it, succeeded in bringing on that glorious wave of a feeling, building steadily to a climax as he filled Minx's sweet pussy to the max; Geeze is invariably a heavy cummer no matter how many times he performs in a day, and this load was no exception; quickly withdrawing, he finished the job off with a couple of vicious spurts aimed over her fair pubic hair, to the obvious delight of Dan who barged his way in to clean her up with his tongue as she slowly but forcibly ejected the jism until she could push no more.

Dan gathered up the excess with his fingers and rubbed it over her tits, kissing them, then kissing her on the mouth fair and square, willing her to snowball some back to him.

Dan now wanted to fuck, asking for a condom. Clearly not accustomed to using 'protection' he struggled to roll it on...his cock had shrunk a little...at 52 years of age, he like many men could no longer rely on a prolonged firm erection, with it coming and going, but persistence won the day. Thrusting into Minx, while simultaneously wriggling and squirming, soon brought him to the boil, but not before exhaustion began to take it's toll...the whole experience was obviously a lot more intense than he'd bargained for; a lot of clients are surprised how relaxed they find themselves at the hands of two total strangers (us) and how FULL-ON a typical threesome can become. Dan pulled out...we were shocked to see his cock now very thick and a full 7 inches, but with no condom! It had come off. He rather blithely suggested it must still 'be in there'....yeah right...we'd been correct in our assessment of his intentions...though to be fair, the condom was sitting there, just inside pussy....none of that now of any concern to D who brought himself off quickly, depositing a heavy load over the bed and Minx's arm and leg, JOB DONE and time for 'the interval' before Round 2. Which never happened. Adamant that he wouldn't be able to cum again, despite all the early 'Essex bravado' Dan started to tell us what we'd do 'next time'. We tried to persuade him we had the skills to bring him back to a state of arousal, and 'Round 2' telling him he had nothing to prove, but our efforts were in vain, his mind was made up. 'Warming down' over a good thirty minutes or more, Dan seemed at ease with two people he now perceived as kindred souls, as he revealed more about his fascinating life, hopes and dreams. It was surprising (or not) as to how much we shared in common....but then that's the point of our comprehensive profile...it tends to attract like minded people, and sort the wheat from the chaff.  Then it was a quick rinse, and our Dan was off. The icing on the cake came around 45 minutes later. Our 'hard man' from Essex called on his mobile, 'Just saying thanks a lot for this afternoon! Such a change to spend time with two nice genuine people, take care'...that's all he said [verbatim] but Geeze wanted Minx to hear those words for herself; Passing the phone over to her, she listened as Dan repeated his message. It took just seconds, but words like those are so precious to an escort, for they will often herald feelings of deep joy & emotion, feelings so strong they can surpass even 'the rush' from the sex act itself, trust me. Thanks DANIEL! You subscribe to NVS to find out about Escort Couple life, We turn fantasy into reality, and we tell you the way it is….We thank you for your support, Stay tuned, safe sex always, until next time, Luv, fun50couple xxx

* Please note we NEVER divulge people’s identities and we have changed some names and details to preserve complete anonymity.

© fun50couple 2017