Beyond Price

Its January 2024, our twelfth year as an escort couple, plus ten more in the adult industry for Geeze who started selling sex toys in pubs & social clubs across the North at the turn of the Millennium. Our sexy exploits, hot as they are, don’t ‘just happen’. They’re ‘sales’ just like any other business. Yes we love what we do. And yes we enjoy working in the ‘oldest profession’. But it all comes at a price. We’re disowned by our families (with one exception) & kept at ‘arms length’ by neighbours who never really know what we do, though there have been ‘rumours’…. ha! December was a record month for us, on par with where we were back in 2019 before the scamdemic nonsense. You turned off now? Don’t be. DYOR. Do Your Own Research, we did, that’s why we became conspiracy theorists. Now things have turned full circle, as the penny drops for a sizable proportion of the population….but by no means all. Back to those kinky meetings though! They came about via a number of channels including escorting portals, our popular e-zine NEWS VIEWS AND SCREWS, five of our own websites, not to mention repeat clients and regulars, all GOOD! So to keep the stream flowing, we’re always investing. Not just in new equipment, but knowledge too.

Recommended reading, by Joan Price

The last 5 months of ’23 saw me ploughing through four books written by Joan Price. An American author & media personality, she’s been described as ‘a sage for the new world order of sexuality for seniors’, an ‘advocate for ageless sexuality’, ‘senior sexpert’ & ‘the beautiful face of senior sex’; the testimonial I like best is one from Dan Savage, sex advice columnist & LGBT activist, he says: “Joan Price is one of the smartest thinkers around about sex, regardless of your age—or hers!” Now we don’t care much for under 40’s, so we pitch our trade almost exclusively to GenX and older IE 40-80 years. Yes, octogenarians have sex lives too…. cringy to some people. In the western world 50s 60’s 70+ year old’s are seen as well past their prime, and definitely not desirable. You see, that’s the biggest myth surrounding sexuality & ageing. The idea that people the wrong side of 50 could still be ‘sexual beings’ is beyond most people. Until. Until they become that age themselves. So just when exactly will you decide to switch off your genitals and call it a day??? If you’ve just turned 40 & reading this you’ll be thinking that’s decades away…. but its not really. Life’s short, and the older you get the shorter the years. Besides, many women in their early 50’s are winding down sexually through choice, or necessity sometimes. That’s what Joan Price is all about… solutions for sexy seniors. How to rekindle sex lives. How to deal with cancer, Alzheimer’s, strokes, sex after grief, difficulties brought on by natural ageing…erectile dysfunction, erectile dissatisfaction and more. I’m not meaning to depress you. I’m just talking facts. A good many of you WILL have to deal with these issues. But there’s light at the end of the tunnel…

A couple of meetings we had with a 60 something year old got me thinking. He’d been dealing with ‘living death’ for 6 years… a wife struck down by Alzheimer’s. A loving couple, he still very sexually active and a tad kinky too, she long past it. We meet a fair number like him. Some of them fantasize about threesomes, cuckolding, voyeurism for DECADES before plucking up the courage to phone. I’ve lost count of the number who’ve reached out at the very last moment, at the onset of serious illness, or pre medical procedures. So I felt dutybound to research the whole subject in depth, to bolster empathy with a broader range of men. Its the reason I alter the profile periodically to ‘touch the nerves’ of some of these fellas. It’s not being mercenary…. Minx’s primary motivation as an escort is financial; true, she’s always been a sexy woman, but its not nowadays a ‘main driver’. I’m different. I’m endlessly fascinated by human sexuality, as well as my own. I’m also ‘negatively charged’ to a degree, a product of a strict Victorian upbringing; something I’m dealing with now (it’s never too late) in order to master the psychological side of trading financial markets. Long story short, I’ve always found it necessary to please others, and to deliver, on pain of death…that’s why I/we consistently under promise and over deliver. It’s also why we’ll never be AdultWork Couple of the Year, or amass a hundred thousand social media followers…because genuine people never do; it’s the fakes who make it. You’ll never see us on Only Fans or mingling with ‘stars’ on stage at adult industry award ceremonies, stars who’ve amassed squillions of votes by badgering clients, potential clients, anyone who’ll listen, relentlessly. The sex toy manufacturers are the same. They bombard us with voting forms, then treat us like shit if there’s a misunderstanding over a product. Or in one case, accidentally misgendering their manager…. a bloke we’d spoken on the phone to for years, until he became a woman. Said company cancelled our trade account. What we are though, is naturally intuitive and that’s one reason why there are escorts contacting us these days for advice on how to get more business; dismayed by dwindling inquiries due to hard times. #BrokenBritain. Successful escorting is no different from any other enterprise, the end result, the service, is a product greater than the sum of it’s individual parts. There’s not just the physical websites & profiles. It’s the mental effort too.

You can’t try to be intuitive, because intuition is spontaneous. It doesn’t come from what we think or know at a rational level. Sensing that something is ready to happen is a form of knowing that is very different from rational thought. Its the difference between cold mechanical fucking and CONNECTION. And the latter seems to be something many millions of men, sadly, know very little about. A survey from a couple of years ago showed 50-59 year old’s the worst off. Sixty+ men faired better, even into their eighties. Funnily enough, a recent client dared me to write a blog titled Could eighty be the new sixtyafter he’d read my NVS post published June last year ‘It used to be 40, then they told us it was 50, but is 60 the new 40 in 2023?’ I think the 60+ group get more of what they want because they’ve learnt either to communicate better with their other halves (‘Joan Prices ‘Ultimate guide to sex after 50’ is a great start) OR they’ve begun to feel okay about looking after #1 [themselves] and seek sex elsewhere on the QT. Take time to view this video…. it’s right where we are as sex workers, and its one of the most powerful presentations I’ve ever seen. Enjoy.

In a sexless marriage? Fearful? Misunderstood? Lonely man? It’s OKAY, you’re not alone, take a look

Seeing an escort isn’t like having an affair. Minx is forever reassuring nervous newbies that we’re marriage savers, not marriage wreckers. You be the judge. What price hedonism? Hedonism refers to the prioritization of pleasure in one’s lifestyle, actions, or thoughts. The cost can be a question relating to one’s doubt over whether an achievement is or was worth the cost in terms of the sacrifices required, loyalty & conscience for example. We had a guy at the tail end of ’23 who booked and cancelled a half dozen times. He’d even paid deposits, but he was troubled. Troubled by his conscience. Only 59, he loved his wife, but she just wasn’t interested. Long story short he finally took the plunge and we enjoyed a trio of meetings, exploring bi-curiosity, voyeurism and body worship. Christmas Eve and his other half messaged us out of the blue. He’d passed (heart attack on top of ‘turbo’ cancer) & she was going though his phone contacts to inform each & every one of the sad news. She had no clue who we were, other than ‘friends’ or acquaintances of her former beloved. (He’d been careful to delete his massages) These are the very real choices many in middle age face, especially men. Men remain sexually active well into later life; one caveat though.. use it or lose it. Aging WILL reduce performance if you don’t nip it in the bud. Acknowledge that fact, and take steps to keep in good shape sexually. Gym isn’t an essential, edging and masturbation definitely is. Experts reckon men over 50 need to self pleasure to the point of hardness at least three times a week to maintain strong erections. I’d say men over 40, because we see plenty of guys that age in poor shape, physically and mentally. There’s no doubt whatsoever, a lot of people out there are paying a heavy price for the last 3-4 years of madness, and its only getting worse. You also need to pay closer attention to what you eat, when you eat, and what you do to keep fit. Sedentary lifestyles aren’t the best if you wanna remain potent in the bedroom.

So guys there you have it. A blog about price. Joan Price. Paying the price. Beyond price. If you’re in a sexless relationship now, then expect more of the same if you don’t make changes. That’s the way things are. You could say loyalty is ‘beyond price’; something perceived so valuable, no figure can be put on it. That’s a matter you’re going to have to come to terms with. If you’re sat on the fence with your mind in turmoil please rest assured, we get that! We understand. New Year’s a time for resolutions. You’re maybe asking yourself ‘shall I shan’t I?’ over & over. The bottom line is the choice is yours, and yours alone. But to conclude, why not do something your future self might thank you for, and at the very least pick up the phone? Speak soon, Luv fun50couple xx