Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ's)
Q.'I'm nervous & very new to this?'
A.It’s OK! That is understandable, but really, there is no need to be nervous; so Don’t Worry; We are very approachable, friendly, easy-going & unshockable with high limits. HOTEL OUTCALLS: We can either meet in the bar first for a drink & a chat, or come straight to your room. We easily merge in…adopting the appearance of a smart business couple; She looks classy not tarty, he’s in casual wear or business suit, and carries a briefcase. (With large range of toys & items for your comfort & convenience)
Q.'What do you guys like?'
A.It’s not about us, it’s about YOU! Check out our ‘services’ list, which is a guide only. Cast away your inhibitions and share with us your fantasies and desires! We can help you make them happen! If you are really not sure what you want, then don’t worry, we’ll go with the flow. We are naturally sexy and intuitive, and promise to make your experience an enjoyable one. We will quickly put you at ease, and get you seriously horny. Many guys visit us again and again, so what are you waiting for?
Q.'How do I make a Booking?'
A.Call mobile or E-mail us! If we do not answer the phone it is because we are working & not able to answer! Simply call back a little later. To maintain confidentiality, we will never call you,unless it’s immediately after missing your call. We don’t respond to WITHHELD NUMBERS. If we text you, it will be in the form of an innocent business type message, prior to establishing contact. We accept short notice bookings, but recommend you make contact 3-4 days before your preferred date, to guarantee availability.
Q.When are you in London?
A.We split our time between our home in the North East & London with bespoke bookings in-between. London Escort Incalls are in Brent W3 or HA9. The North Circular, A40 & London Underground lines are all closeby & there’s discreet FREE parking at both locations. For London availability, please check dates displayed either on the Front Page NEWSBARS, or the latest ‘What’s On’ blog post. London Escort Outcalls are to anywhere within M25 including Central London & the West End. We also outcall to homes and hotels in Surrey, East Berks, Middlesex, South Bucks, South Herts, Essex & North Kent.
Q.Lonely & looking for Fun?
A.One major challenge within happiness is loneliness and we see it all too often in our day to day meetings with clients. Many guys outwardly appear to ‘have it all’ yet behind the facade they’re lonely souls. Maybe they’ve got ‘friends’ who they don’t quite trust sharing notes with about their particular ‘kink’, or they’re in relationship but it’s not open & lacks intimacy. Confiding in & getting support from others, helps to promote happiness…we ‘get’ that. Why not do something today your future self will thank you for? Stimulating conversation, hot sex & a fun time are GUARANTEED when you take us away WITH YOU on a short break in the SUN; Consign loneliness to the bin. Popular destinations incl Canaries, Menorca, Eastern US or #FlyMeToYou
Q.What's a Bespoke Booking?
A.If you’re struggling in your Search for an ‘escort couple near me’ don’t dispair. We are one of the UK’s most experienced & best known Pro couples; let us COME TO YOU on a ‘bespoke’ or ‘custom’ booking; Don’t worry if it’s not possible to come to your home for an outcall; we’ll arrange discreet quality accommodation local to you for an incall. It’s not as expensive as you might think, and we can fix it up quite quickly; typically inquire TODAY for a custom booking TOMORROW. We can even do SAMEDAY if you make contact early enough in the morning. Deposit required.
OUR ESCORT COUPLE RATES IN GBP
The values below are for North East England ESCORT OUTCALLS within the local area Map on
the 'mature uk escort couple page'. North East escort incalls are subject to availability & the rates are shown in brackets.
ONE HOUR - 190 (160)
1.5 HOURS - 280 (240)
2 HOURS - 350 (310)
3 HOURS - 500 (400)
4 HOUR DINNER DATE - 500 U-PICK UP TAB
OVERNIGHT - 700 (From 400)
Additional charges apply for Hotel Parking. The 400 rate for an overnight is a SPECIAL DEAL for businessmen, combining a 2 hour meet with comfy B&B.
Please call for rates applicable to Bespoke Bookings UK Nationwide, or for Overseas. An upfront deposit is required for custom bookings.
NOT SURE what the difference is between an MFM and an MMF?
You're not the first, just go to https://www.fun50couple.com/mature-uk-escort-couple/ & scroll down the page to find the answer!
OUR ESCORT COUPLE RATES FOR LONDON (in GBP)
The values below are for ESCORT OUTCALLS in the LONDON AREA including Central London, West End, Greater London, M25 corridor including Middlesex, South Herts, South Bucks, East Berks, Surrey, North Kent, South & South East Essex. LONDON ESCORT INCALLS are subject to availability & the rates are shown in brackets.
0.5 HOUR - N/A (100)
ONE HOUR - 250 (190)
1.5 HOURS - 300 (280)
2 HOURS - 400 (360)
3 HOURS - 550 (500)
4 HOUR DINNER DATE - 550 U-PICK UP TAB
OVERNIGHT - 900 (O/N incalls N/A in London)
Additional charges apply for Hotel Parking & bookings after 11PM.
QUESTION? What difference does it make to me that you are a PROFESSIONAL ESCORT COUPLE?
It means we live or die on our performance as escorts. It's not possible to make a living in this game from one-offs. Professional Escorts (which means people who make their entire living from the 'oldest profession') need repeat clients to survive the quiet periods; which in turn means we have to deliver a fantastic experience. So take a minute to check out the volume, quality and recency of feedback; you'll see its up there with the best in the business.https://www.adultwork.com/dlgViewRatings.asp?UserID=2311072
Being Professional Escorts means we constantly monitor incoming emails & messages from around 0700 till about 2100 daily Monday - Friday. So don't send us a message asking us about meeting later in the morning...then walk away from your computer and not check for a reply until the afternoon!!! We will normally respond within minutes. If not, then we will be in a meeting or on the road, in which case we'll still reply, usually within an hour.
Being Professional Escorts means we work at it FULL TIME either directly, or indirectly through constant marketing, as well as running our sextoy business FUN-FIVE-0...everything is linked and interconnected, we basically live sleep and breathe the adult industry. So just like anybody else, we like our weekends off, and we like to go to bed at night, so don't waste your time sending silly texts or messages at 2 in the morning asking if we're available. We'll give 100% during our stated hours of work nothing more, nothing less. YES, we do work some weekends...please check NEWSBAR weekly on the gateway page of this site for regular updates on weekend working and upcoming tours.
Being Professional Escorts means we are on the radar of the authorities. Which means we have gone to a great deal of trouble to cover EVERYTHING YOU WOULD EVER NEED TO KNOW, here on our website and on our profile at AdultWork.com. So please don't be calling us about fees for our time, or about 'what we do'.....talking about those things over a phoneline is both ILLEGAL and un-necessary, because its clearly in the public domain, as is where we live and work, either on this site or our profile on Adult Work.com.
Being Professional Escorts mean we have years of experience and can very quickly sort the wheat from the chaff. What do we mean by that? Invariably, the guys who meet us all have one thing in common other than a penis. They have read the profile, and called us to book with no silly questions, no endless texting or messaging, and without pages of scripted roleplay requests....you see....we know that there are many sad folk out there who get off just from writing us or texting us without the balls to ever meet.
If you insist on texting us to ask 'if we are available' then we will ignore it or simply ask you to call. WHY? Because only by calling to book will you know, because our availability changes by the minute....in this business it is often 'feast or famine'. Its not unusual for several guys wanting us on the same day at the same time, then there are other days where we're checking to see if the phone's still working its that QUIET! There's no rhyme nor reason as to why that happens, though the more time goes by the more of a pattern emerges...its quite often closely associated with the 'mood' or the 'vibe' in the country at large..a 'feel good', 'or not', kind of factor. If you follow us on social media or our blogs you'll see we are very much in tune with current affairs, business and politics...we are constantly evaluating our market and ways we can maintain our position as leaders not followers.
Being Professional Escorts means we take great care and pride in our appearance. You see, we never know within a 12 hour day WHEN we'll be called. It's unrealistic to expect us to sit by a phone all ready to meet at a moments notice. We need a bare minimum of an hour to get ready, WHY? Because we need to shower which includes 'douching' (don't know what we mean by douching? then google it or don't ask for anal), we need to dress appropriately, Minx needs time for make-up/hair to a high standard....guys, think about it...isn't that the very least you'd expect from a professional escort?
Being Professional Escorts means we're always prepared to expect the unexpected. So we can cope with pretty much anything out there. From Armageddon, to an EXTREME meet, to a nervous first-timer...we have the skills to match. We prefer to meet only with guys over 40, simply because less than 2% of guys under 40 ever turn up (TRUE) plus, we have difficulties empathizing with Millenials....the difference in attitudes is so very marked and in stark contrast with those of GenX and Boomers, and not somewhere we want to be. That doesn't mean we're old fashioned far from it...we are right up to speed with social media, modern life, marketing, web technology etc, its just the reliability and experience factors which come into play...we are interested only in people who'll turn up, people that have some respect for us, who are looking for a sensual experience; men who have the life experience behind them to actually recognise and appreciate what a sensual experience is.
Being Professional Escorts means our own sexuality is constantly evolving...our own limits change over time. We understand that by contacting us you are in effect, inviting us into your own private little world and fantasy, we respect that, and we shall do everything in our power to turn that fantasy into reality for you, and an experience you'll want to repeat over and over.
Being Professional Escorts means this is OUR JOB. It's not about 'what we are into'. It's about us delivering what YOU WANT. Quite possibly you'll ask us for something we're not really personally 'in to' however, we're perfectly capable of delivering that experience seamlessly and without any hint of it 'not being for us'. That is a trait of a truly professional escort. What we most enjoy, is meeting new people and delighting them by delivering them an amazing experience, oh, and the money.
Being a Professional Escort Couple sometimes means two independent escorts who get together and work occasionally as a 'couple'. And in practise it shows, with all too often a disjointed/mediocre/amateurish performance! Rest assured, we are a 100% loved up and genuine 'live-together' couple of 10 years, engaged but not married for legal reasons. You'll see we work very well together as a sexually intuitive team, surely something you would reasonably expect when making a date with a couple!
Being Professional Escorts mean we always act in a Discreet and Professional manner, but that doesn't mean we're not friendly! Far from it! We have a lifetime of experience behind us including some calamitous & traumatic events, so we are well able to put you at ease and break the ice in seconds! We know that you may well be in a relationship or in a high profile job so discretion is imperative. We've had clients been 'found out' by angry wives, HOW? Because amateur escorts have texted them at in-opportune times unexpectedly, usually touting for business, and the wives have intercepted or seen the text. With us, that will NEVER happen...we will only ever text you immediately after a missed call, OR, if its by prior permission and we know you. Hotel Outcalls? We love them...but again discretion is paramount both for us and for you. We actually have hotels that actively promote us because they know we are discreet, professional, and that we bring them quality business. So don't expect to see Minx in thigh high PVC boots, leather mini skirt, gaping blouse and make-up applied with a trowel, expect instead, a classy looking woman, in heels, fashionably dressed. If its winter, look out for a mid-length or long coat; you can imagine what may or may not be underneath. He will be in smart semi-business attire complete with brief case. (full of toys and consumables for safe sex)
Being Professional Escorts means sadly we have to put all this stuff on the site, due to ever increasing numbers of idiots and timewasters...if you are not in that category and you genuinley want to meet us with a minimum of fuss, then you'll understand that this is necessary and you'll not be offended. We are not being arrogant and saying we are the best or the only option, the only show in town. There are hundreds of people out there who could be compatible and who could easily light your fire! BUT....your problem is finding them. Life is short, and time is PRECIOUS, we'll let our feedback do the talking, and your feet do the walking...to our door, SEE YOU SOON, Luv fun50couple xx